i HATE the hard days

[itsjen516]

I feel i say this alot but im just SO tired of the harder days. The issue is all me i get upset when i hardly hear from him so it puts me in such a bad mood. I KNOW its out of his control with working 2 jobs but the fact this will become an every day thing now that hes out of school its really driving me up the wall. It sucks with just a quick good morning an i love you in the afernoon and then a little bit at night then he goes to bed since clearly hes tired..
i feel so selifish wanting more time but its bad enough im usually alone with no job its hard that the one person i could always talk to to cheer me up is so busy.

i hate my self for feeling this way cuz i can feel im stressing him to i just miss him so bad

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I feel i say this alot but im just SO tired of the harder days. The issue is all me i get upset when i hardly hear from him so it puts me in such a bad mood. I KNOW its out of his control with working 2 jobs but the fact this will become an every day thing now that hes out of school its really driving me up the wall. It sucks with just a quick good morning an i love you in the afernoon and then a little bit at night then he goes to bed since clearly hes tired..
i feel so selifish wanting more time but its bad enough im usually alone with no job its hard that the one person i could always talk to to cheer me up is so busy.

i hate my self for feeling this way cuz i can feel im stressing him to i just miss him so bad

We all have those days. It seems to be par for the course in an LDR. I'm in the same boat, with my SO working 70 hours a week. And it does suck having such sporadic contact.

All you can do is find someway to keep yourself busy and happy. For me, it's dancing (that gets the Happy Endorphins jumping), reading, learning Tarot, and binging on Netflix movies on my "Big Screen" TV (well, 32" is bigger than my laptop screen, anyway). Yoga and meditation are good for calming and centering myself, and I enjoy listening to music and watching YouTube videos, especially the ones with nature scenes. And when she isn't too busy, I enjoy visiting and going out for lunch with my daughter and my little grandchildren.

[itsjen516]

Ya I need to find more distractions. I may start painting again. That seems to relax me but it still ends with me checking my phone 109 times tk see if he wrote something . I'm a mess

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Ya I need to find more distractions. I may start painting again. That seems to relax me but it still ends with me checking my phone 109 times tk see if he wrote something . I'm a mess

I have a terrible addiction to Facebook, and sometimes if I need some space to get something done, I actually archive his messages so I don't see him there, tempting me to check so often. But it takes a lot of will power sometimes.

I find the busier and happier I am, the faster the time goes, and he is happier too.

[Ahava]

Aren't you getting married soon and then moving in together? I can't remember when exactly (sorry) but I have a feeling it's not that long.
I think you should still try and find some hobbies you love or something to do with your spare time, because after you are married he will probably still be working a lot (?) so if you haven't found a job yet/aren't studying you will feel lonely at times when he is working late and you only see him in the mornings and evenings.

[itsjen516]

Aren't you getting married soon and then moving in together? I can't remember when exactly (sorry) but I have a feeling it's not that long.
I think you should still try and find some hobbies you love or something to do with your spare time, because after you are married he will probably still be working a lot (?) so if you haven't found a job yet/aren't studying you will feel lonely at times when he is working late and you only see him in the mornings and evenings.

yes it's still a few months away. He told me people there will find me a job and It shouldn't be to bad. Plus the latest he will be in school for will be till 7 I think.
People always tell me to find a hobby but I honestly dk what to do. It's either I over pay for some class or spent it alone for free ...

[Alsfia]

yes it's still a few months away. He told me people there will find me a job and It shouldn't be to bad. Plus the latest he will be in school for will be till 7 I think.
People always tell me to find a hobby but I honestly dk what to do. It's either I over pay for some class or spent it alone for free ...

There is a lot of online courses and instructions for free (more or less) on the net, you can set yourself a book challenge or read some works you've always been interested in, even record yourself reading out loud and make an audio book, there is a lot of options if you look for them. Is there any crafting you'd like to do for the wedding? Do you exercise? I find it helps me to go for a run whenever I feel lonely and it greatly improves my mood and self confidence after I get back.

[differentcountries]

You need to learn how to activate yourself. It can be as simple as go for a walk. There are lots of free stuff to do, right now I am so out of money even my phone closed down... But I can still go hiking. I already payed for my yoga centre so I can go there. I can invite friends over and treat them to whatever is already in my house, like good teas and coffee, and sometimes I bake something or serve fruit. I watch movies and series online (now I pay, but before I saw a lot for free). I started to learn a new language online, the first month was free I think and the rest is not that expensive. There are lots of interesting things, where you live and also online.

Do a brainstorming with yourself. What do you like? What made you happy as a child? Is there something you would consider to explore? Even just tasting new food can be fun. I still remember the first time I tried fresh pinaple, I was around 16 and the taste is still in my mouth. 2 weeks ago I discovered a new cake that was really good. 1 week ago I heard this song, it made me very happy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM

What if you have no idea? I sometimes go places just to see if there is something in it for me. I did not like hiking in the snow very much, but I am glad I tried it. I thought that going to holiday in Turkey woul be so, so, but I ended up being in love with the country as well as the man. The job I know have I got through random things. And sometimes just random things can lead to something very interesting, to learn new things or making new friends. I guess you know this already... with your Disney experience. Can you find something of the explorer in you, still?

[dglynn77]

Start working on DIY projects for either your wedding or your home together. Find stuff on pinterest that you like and try to do that. Projects for your wedding and future home will help you because 1. They have a purpose and 2. You will be thinking about your SO while you make them but your hands are busy so it makes your thoughts good thoughts and happy fantasies about being together with the things you are making.

[itsjen516]

Even with doing stuff I would still check my phone 800 times to see a possible hi from him

I don't like taking on line stuff cuz that means I'll be home and get really depressed
I go out every day just to walk around but still it just gets Lonley being alone . I'm just not the person who is ok in a LDR it's just to hard on me. I give credit to the people who do this for years I personally would not be able to do it

[abna1]

I really like dglynn77's idea with the DIY projects for your wedding or new home. If there's really nothing that can distract you, the only thing left to do is to try and remind yourself that it will be over in a few months. You'll be getting married and closing the distance. So much to look forward to. I know it's really hard some days but just hang in there.

[piratemama]

Does he ever talk with you for longer periods of time? If you could get him to agree to a weekly date night with more time for talking that might help you. You could have something to look forward to.

[itsjen516]

Does he ever talk with you for longer periods of time? If you could get him to agree to a weekly date night with more time for talking that might help you. You could have something to look forward to.

ya we do and we also have weekly video chats

i just got spoiled cuz we went from texing all day to now just a few times. the issue is all with me :\

[squeeker]

I think I get it.. I would be crushed too if my conversations with my SO went down to just a brief message each day. Also I think that maybe the closeness of closing the distance is making it seem longer? It's like when a visit is so close, and it seems so far yet, so everything is leading up to it but you just want to be there now...

I like dglynn77's ideas for the wedding and home projects thing as well. I find that it can help me feel more connected to my boyfriend and keep me busy and productive.. even though sometimes it can be used as a procrastination tool from other things I need to do. But Pinterest is awesome, though I mainly use it to look for recipes because I love food.

And you keep saying you are not strong enough for a LDR. I disagree, I think you are more than strong enough. It's just that you are closing the distance soo soon that it seems soo far away. I think anyone is strong enough for a LDR if they know the person they are with is someone they want to be with for the longterm/future/forever! But I know it's hard and especially hard when you can't talk to your SO that much. Also maybe you could go out and see some places and take pictures and show your SO! Or look up recipes you want to make together. Or make a video of pictures/videos of you two to one of your favourite songs. And possible hobbies: cooking/baking, knitting, crochet, drawing, reading, watching films, watching TV shows, writing, maybe go to a craft store and find some cool things for a project or make a scrapbook of your favourite photos and memories!! I'm sure you can think of something. Stay strong!!

[itsjen516]

I think I get it.. I would be crushed too if my conversations with my SO went down to just a brief message each day. Also I think that maybe the closeness of closing the distance is making it seem longer? It's like when a visit is so close, and it seems so far yet, so everything is leading up to it but you just want to be there now...

I like dglynn77's ideas for the wedding and home projects thing as well. I find that it can help me feel more connected to my boyfriend and keep me busy and productive.. even though sometimes it can be used as a procrastination tool from other things I need to do. But Pinterest is awesome, though I mainly use it to look for recipes because I love food.

And you keep saying you are not strong enough for a LDR. I disagree, I think you are more than strong enough. It's just that you are closing the distance soo soon that it seems soo far away. I think anyone is strong enough for a LDR if they know the person they are with is someone they want to be with for the longterm/future/forever! But I know it's hard and especially hard when you can't talk to your SO that much. Also maybe you could go out and see some places and take pictures and show your SO! Or look up recipes you want to make together. Or make a video of pictures/videos of you two to one of your favourite songs. And possible hobbies: cooking/baking, knitting, crochet, drawing, reading, watching films, watching TV shows, writing, maybe go to a craft store and find some cool things for a project or make a scrapbook of your favourite photos and memories!! I'm sure you can think of something. Stay strong!!

Ya that's true I like the idea of oicutres and stuff and I just did what you said and signed up for a knitting class that my friends mom is teaching