My freakin insecurity is killing my relationship.
My SO is so busy that he can;t really chat with me, while I really need the chats with him for me to feel like he still wants to be with me.
I know he;s gonna leave his mom in a Aus when he's going back to South Africa and I know he's got a lot to take care of before he leaves.
I know all that!!!
Still I want to skype with him, I want him to chat with me, I want him to tell me he still loves me.
It just turns into this circle: He doesn't say I love you > I get insecure and want reasurance > he gets upset with me because I always ask him to tell me he loves me > I get more upset because he gets angry.... You know?
It's killing me and it;s killing him.
I am really REALLY trying to tell myself that even if he doesn't have time to chat, that doesn't mean he isn't thinking about me and he doesn't love me.
Today he snapped again because I always ask him what he's doing and why he has to go when we're chatting and what he's going to do and when he'll be back to chat for a bit longer and when we can skype. (You see.. I get annoyed with myself when I read what I'm actually doing).
So I asked him if we could talk about this in a normal way because if we keep on letting this be, things will never get better.
So we talked. He basically told me that he can't handle my insecurity and that he's going through a rough time and I'm always thinkin about myself and what I want. If things don't go my way or if he doesn't reply on my messages in time, I freak.
He said that if things carry on this way, he will end our relationship.
I told him I knew I was being selfish and insecure and that I am working on it. It just doesn't happen overnight.
I'm scared to keep on 'just' believing he still loves me when he doesn't have time to talk, because then it will hurt even more when he ends it.
(eventough he says he won't! And he says he loves me)
I asked him if he understood me getting insecure sometimes and he said he does understand, he just can;t do anything about it...
I asked him if he would give me time to work on it. He said that ofcourse he would give me more time and that I really have to try not to be so controlling and stop asking what he's doing, when he's done and why he doesn't have time.
I really want to work on it, but now it feels like damage has already been done. Like I can't do anything to fix it anymore.
How can I get over my insecuruties and how do I keep myself from destroying this relationship?
My SO is so busy that he can;t really chat with me, while I really need the chats with him for me to feel like he still wants to be with me.
I know he;s gonna leave his mom in a Aus when he's going back to South Africa and I know he's got a lot to take care of before he leaves.
I know all that!!!
Still I want to skype with him, I want him to chat with me, I want him to tell me he still loves me.
It just turns into this circle: He doesn't say I love you > I get insecure and want reasurance > he gets upset with me because I always ask him to tell me he loves me > I get more upset because he gets angry.... You know?
It's killing me and it;s killing him.
I am really REALLY trying to tell myself that even if he doesn't have time to chat, that doesn't mean he isn't thinking about me and he doesn't love me.
Today he snapped again because I always ask him what he's doing and why he has to go when we're chatting and what he's going to do and when he'll be back to chat for a bit longer and when we can skype. (You see.. I get annoyed with myself when I read what I'm actually doing).
So I asked him if we could talk about this in a normal way because if we keep on letting this be, things will never get better.
So we talked. He basically told me that he can't handle my insecurity and that he's going through a rough time and I'm always thinkin about myself and what I want. If things don't go my way or if he doesn't reply on my messages in time, I freak.
He said that if things carry on this way, he will end our relationship.
I told him I knew I was being selfish and insecure and that I am working on it. It just doesn't happen overnight.
I'm scared to keep on 'just' believing he still loves me when he doesn't have time to talk, because then it will hurt even more when he ends it.
(eventough he says he won't! And he says he loves me)
I asked him if he understood me getting insecure sometimes and he said he does understand, he just can;t do anything about it...
I asked him if he would give me time to work on it. He said that ofcourse he would give me more time and that I really have to try not to be so controlling and stop asking what he's doing, when he's done and why he doesn't have time.
I really want to work on it, but now it feels like damage has already been done. Like I can't do anything to fix it anymore.
How can I get over my insecuruties and how do I keep myself from destroying this relationship?
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