PDA when with SO ( acceptable or hell NO?)

[squeeker]

I'm not personally a fan of PDA. I will hold my SO's hand and be close to him, but thats the extent I will go. We save the good stuff for when no ones around.

I don't like it when couples do it in front of me, so I don't do it either. You never know who else around you is possibly missing their SO, and feeling sad because they saw you draped all over yours.

I agree with this. Especially the part about not knowing who else around you is missing their SOs.. reminds me of when I see a couple walking and they are holding hands or being lovey in other ways, and I get a bit jealous and then try and think "what if they are in an LDR" and it would be nice if people had the same courtesy towards me, or random people on the street who might be in an LDR too and missing their SO, but thankfully I don't typically see anything more than handholding most of the time.

When I'm with my SO, when we do go out of the house, we usually hold hands (if they are free and not holding something else like bags or something) and we hug sometimes like when we meet up again or things, and I guess we were a bit more expressive of PDA when we met for the first time and we hugged and kissed a little, but at that time we weren't yet at the makeout stage. lol We wouldn't makeout in public.. that would likely make so many people uncomfortable.. though we stay in the house a lot of the time, but when we do go out we mostly just hold hands.. and that's why I try to be understandable about people holding hands in public because I remind myself that who knows if they are in an LDR, or will be or have been or whatever. But it would make me uncomfortable to see much more than that.

I do think the "rules" should be the same for everyone in a public place with strangers (within a certain region since some regions will be more open than others it seems), and it depends on where you are and who you are with when you know the people. You don't want to make your family and friends uncomfortable.. especially if they are unable to be with their boyfriend/girlfriend or if they are single it might make them resent you, even if they are normally happy with being single. Plus it just puts people in an awkward position.

[snow]

I come from a family where sitting next to each other and cuddling is too much PDA, so I didn't plan on showing any kind of affection while others were around, but my man is in love and he wants to show it. At first I was uncomfortable, because I didn't want people being angry at what we did, but he likes to hug me and kiss me even when we're around friends and they don't mind. We hold hands all the time, he will hug me whenever he gets the chance and he will sometimes stop, look at me and say "monkey?" to which I make some monkey noises and get a kiss. Some people will think that is too much, but it's just what we do. It actually makes the couples around us more lovey-dovey and that is always nice. When they saw us holding hands all the time, they started holding hands too

Where do I draw the line? I would probably say groping private parts.

[differentcountries]

The "rules" for LDR couples are the same as for anyone else I guess, though it can be supercute to watch a happy couple hug or kiss. It depends a bit on "the public" - the more space, the more PDA is ok. If someone in the sofa next to me is kissing, that can be a bit too much. With my husband in Norway, we are more PDA in the streets than with our friends and family, I prefer a "friend zone feeling" when lots of people are around. I know too a lot of single people find it hard to watch PDA, and I don't want to upset them by displaying our love. When I am in Turkey, it depends very much on the area. Outside the tourist areas we are very low on PDA. Even if we hang out with people from his home town we will hardly even hold hands. Originally his choice, but I notice I tend to adopt his habits, as well. Also, in the tourist place, he is at work much of the time so any PDA would be very inapropriate. He has started to kiss me in the airport, though - I guess that is non-Turkey enough for him. Generally, do what people around you do, and make sure there is space so others don't feel invaded, and you'll probably be fine

[CanadianGirl]

I don't think we're ever over the top. Stealing quick kisses in public or cuddling up close to each other doesn't count as PDA to me. When I think PDA, I'm thinking of couples grabbing at each other, grinding and making out. That's just gross no matter who you are. For anything more passionate than a couple kisses, we're somewhere secluded. I think we're both more physically clingy during a visit than we would be if we were CD all the time. For example, we tend to sit on the same side of a restaurant table if we can, as opposed to across from each other. I'm not too bothered if we look pathetically needy to everyone else. It's just how we both cope with short visits and long periods apart.

[Sora1101]

I'm a very shy person and I'd never had the chance to experience PDA before I met my SO. When I finally did meet my SO it was hard for me to do anything PDA related, even holding hands, but after a few years I've gotten comfortable with holding hands in public and if we're out shopping and we're in an empty/nearly empty store I'll give him a quick little kiss because I know it makes him feel special.

I'm still not comfortable kissing to any extent around his friends and family, but if we're staying at his house we're all over each other when they're not really around, lots of cuddling and kisses and I sit on his lap or lean on him when we watch movies. If his family is home though I usually keep it to holding hands or hugs.

It's just all about what you feel comfortable with, and what the others around you are comfortable with seeing.

[Aniela]

Here in Chile, people do that sort of stuff everywhere, but that doesn't mean that is acceptable. I feel really sad when I see couples kissing in the middle of the street, so I think we all need to respect the others like everyone else, even when is really difficult for us. But only holding hands -in public- is ok for me.

[Ahava]

My SO doesn't like PDA infront of his family etc. But he is okay when it's outside in the streets, airports, or when he is with me.
We have been kissing, holding hands, hugging in front of my children.
I held his hand at my parents under the table
I think it depends on the company/place you are at.

Escalators are good places for kissing

I know he is shy and reserved and not a PDA person in general, but he seems to be loosing up, atleast when he is visiting me.
I plan to make the most of it when we see each other.
There will always be somebody who has just broken up or is missing their boyfriend/girlfriend and ofcourse seeing other couples hurts when you are in that position, but it is life. Just as seeing babies hurts if you aren't able to have kids or have had a miscarriage etc.
In my opinion we can't hide all the happy stuff in life just so that we don't by accident make someone sad.

[blankita719]

The SO and I will hold hands and maybe give a quick peck on the lips or a small hug, but overall we're not too publicly affectionate. At home- different story Maybe it's our ages, but I don't think we need to shove our tongues down each others throats to show people we're in love out in public. I think our smiles show enough

[80anthea]

Yeah I kiss my SO, we hold hands, I might even sneak in a stealth grope of his sexy ass..... quite frankly, I don't give a crap if it's embarrassing or what judgements other people pass, we have fun together and we don't see each other enough so we make the most of it when we do

[mellif]

I agree with 80anthea. I honestly don't care what people think of me and my man in public-- not that we ever go beyond a few kisses and back rubs. We just want to have a good time while we're with each other, and I wouldn't mind if another couple wanted the same for themselves, LDR or not. To be honest, I've never understood what about PDA that makes other people uncomfortable. I'm not sure what people would expect from a couple being together in one place, haha. I guess I'm one of the few.

[ThePiedPiper]

Ahava has a point... You can't spend your life trying not to make others uncomfortable or upset because it won't ever happen. Frankly, I never understood the idea of being jealous of other couples. When I was in a LDR, did I get envious? Wish the distance didn't exist? Of course, but I would never have gone so far as to wish everyone else would stand 10 feet away from each other just to keep me happy! In that same line of thought, I'm not going to refuse my SO affection, or refuse ME that simple pleasure, just because someone else might not be able to have that at that point in time like I do. *shrug* Besides, couples who are in love don't need to be touching to show it. I'd be more envious of couples who only held hands but who had love in their eyes than those who groped each other and made out pressed against their cars. Saying PDA is wrong for the sake of someone missing their SO doesn't actually solve the problem, and I don't think PDA should be viewed as shoving love in everyone else's faces.

[Ahava]

I once sat on a plane with this couple next to me (I had the window seat) who were snogging etc ALL the time. I think that is something I would draw the line to. (That was back when I was still with my ex) I wouldn't have minded if they just held hands and or a one peck or two, but that was "go get a room" material.
Common sense is needed just like with everything in life.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

My SO doesn't like PDA infront of his family etc. But he is okay when it's outside in the streets, airports, or when he is with me.
We have been kissing, holding hands, hugging in front of my children.
I held his hand at my parents under the table
I think it depends on the company/place you are at.

Escalators are good places for kissing

I know he is shy and reserved and not a PDA person in general, but he seems to be loosing up, atleast when he is visiting me.
I plan to make the most of it when we see each other.
There will always be somebody who has just broken up or is missing their boyfriend/girlfriend and ofcourse seeing other couples hurts when you are in that position, but it is life. Just as seeing babies hurts if you aren't able to have kids or have had a miscarriage etc.
In my opinion we can't hide all the happy stuff in life just so that we don't by accident make someone sad.

I completely agree we can't hide happiness so we don't make others sad. What a gloomy world we would have if nobody was spontaneously happy, affectionate, compassionate, or tender-hearted. Recently I saw a video on YouTube of a group of singers (the cast of the Australian production of The Lion King) who were on a plane, and just before take-off, they spontaneous broke out in their rendition of The Circle of Life. It was great, and it made people smile. Unfortunately, on the comments, there were some grouches who had to put their less than 2 cents in and spoil the mood that the video brought. There will always be people like that. But why should those who are happy and in love have to hide their feelings? The world needs more spontaneity and more LOVE.

[Riyko]

Here in Chile, people do that sort of stuff everywhere, but that doesn't mean that is acceptable. I feel really sad when I see couples kissing in the middle of the street, so I think we all need to respect the others like everyone else, even when is really difficult for us. But only holding hands -in public- is ok for me.

I've seen couples in Santiago at the point of almost wanting to take their clothes off and have sex right in the middle of the sidewalk and the police usually telling them to break it up and go elsewhere (I giggle sometimes). Anyways, some PDA is fine like holding hands and quick kisses but making out no way, I grew up that that was something that stayed behind closed doors where as my ex from Chile was used to making out in public, something I never got comfortable with.

[Malaga]

My 'problem' with PDA is more about couples who choose to spend time with other people, be it friends or family, yet cannot seem to step out of their inner world. It sends a message that other people are just decorum, a filler between their romantic moments. It's not about hiding your affection or pretending you're not a couple, but if you choose to spend time with other people then it's only fair to act in a way that everyone can be included. It's similar to texting your SO while you're having dinner with other people. Even if your company tolerates it because it's you, it's still poor etiquette and anyone could easily see it as disrespectful. And if my friend sat in her boyfriend's lap or kept kissing him while we were all spending time together, my instinct would be to leave and give them space because their actions indicated they wanted to be alone, even if they said otherwise.

As for making out in public places, sure you can be, who cares about social norms! You do you. But it doesn't change the fact it goes against etiquette in many places, which I understand was the question here. It's not about worrying what other people might think of you or making them happy, it's just basic consideration for people who happen to share your space. It's the fabric of society. Like in Ahava's situation on the plane. Regardless of how open-minded you are, it's still an uncomfortable position to be in because you feel like you're intruding on their intimate moment.