Is it ok to be friends with him for now while I'm saving up for my trip to see him?

[jb_bianca20]

This guy is from Australia and I am from the Philippines. I wrote our story in another thread just below this one. 'Long distance problem, help?' That's the title. I have received comments and advices to be just friends with him for now because he already broke up with me and he wants us to be just friends for now. I know, I've been thinking about it for a while now. I don't want to lose him and I love him so much. It hurts to be just friends. To be honest I won't be able to make a trip this year, I don't know if he can wait for me til next year but I'll still try. I'm going to UAE at the end of the year after I finish my studies to live with my mom. It'll be harder because of the different time zones but I'll be able to save up if I get a job there. I think I'll just try to be his friend and be there for him whenever he will need someone to talk to for now. I know that he loves me and I really think that he won't find another girl but if he does then that's fine, at least I would have a reason to forget my feelings about him. But I promised to my self that I will do everything I can to stay strong and not give up as long as he loves me. I will do everything I can to be with him as long as he loves me.... Stay friends for now...

[RachelAnne]

If he wants to be just friends, I would say just be friends for now. You can't make someone have feelings for you, it has to just happen. And you certainly can't be in a one-sided relationship. There's not much for you to do besides continue being his friend, but I wouldn't make any plans to visit him. If it happens, and he decides he wants to pursue a relationship with you, then it'll happen naturally, but I wouldn't try and force anything or make any set plans to see him. I'm sorry you're going through this, it'll get better

[Chillosaurus]

Another possibility: Why not put the relationship on hold, go no contact for a while? When he is willing to give you a tour through his country, it will be interesting and at the very least you have a competent tour-guide.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

There is nothing wrong with being friends. You know in your heart that you are more, and it sounds like he feels the same, but it just isn't time, yet, under the circumstances, to take it to another level. Being friends, and loving from a distance, is a good foundation for more, later when both of you are able to afford more. It will take the pressure off both of you, too. That doesn't necessarily mean you can't be committed to each other, just that, realistically, you can't close the distance, or even visit at the moment. Things can change. But a true friendship can lead to more.

[silvermoonfairy3]

I'm going to go the other route and say don't be "friends" if you're using that as an excuse to keep up expectations of getting back together. A lot of people, when they aren't ready to let go, use "being friends" as a way to stay in the other person's life, figuring that things will turn around, or they'll realize they do want the relationship after all, etc.

It's totally possible that will happen and he'll realize he wants to be back in this relationship, but ask yourself.. if he never does, would you be heartbroken, thinking you held on for nothing, or would platonic friendship, where one day he gets with another girl, be enough?

[Deleted]

There is nothing wrong with being friends. You know in your heart that you are more, and it sounds like he feels the same, but it just isn't time, yet, under the circumstances, to take it to another level. Being friends, and loving from a distance, is a good foundation for more, later when both of you are able to afford more. It will take the pressure off both of you, too. That doesn't necessarily mean you can't be committed to each other, just that, realistically, you can't close the distance, or even visit at the moment. Things can change. But a true friendship can lead to more.

I agree with this. However, I will say that you shouldn't hold onto the hope that it could lead to more. That means you're still attached. I would just stick to being friends, and nothing more or less. Get to know each other in a non-romantic way. Either way, whether your relationship progresses the way you want it to or not, you'll have gained a very good friend.

[differentcountries]

No, it is not ok. You are not ready to be his friend, and absolutely not the kind of close friends that save for years to visit one another.