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Ex Fiancee is haunting us- Now What?

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    #1

    Ex Fiancee is haunting us- Now What?

    I recently made a blog post about this, but I feel like I need to discuss it a bit more.

    Recently, my SO's ex fiancee has been not only trash talking me to some of their mutual friends, but she's apparently taking advantage of my distance to try and get back together with him.
    She hasn't made any moves (thank goodness), nor is my SO interested at all in being with anyone but me, but I feel like this is going to blow up in the near future, and I'll be too far away to be of any help.

    Is there anything we can do to get off this collision course? What can my poor non confrontational SO say to his fiancee without aggravating the situation? Or should he not say anything at all?

    I should add that their engagement was broken off fairly recently, so the dust is just starting to really settle.
    Every long lost dream led me to where you are
    Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
    Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
    This much I know is true...
    That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

    |First Met: 02/28/14|Exchanged Numbers: 03/07/14|First Date: 03/14/14|First Kiss: 03/21/14 |Became a couple: 04/05/14|
    Tags: ex fiancee, exes
    #2
    How is she trying to get back together with him if she hasn't made any moves? I'm just confused about that part.
    Unfortunately I don't think there's anything you can do. This is completely up to him, he needs to set firm boundaries with both her and their mutual friends. She's irrelevant and what she's been saying about you is irrelevant. He's moving on and she's in the past. Ideally he should have no contact with her at least until the dust settles but if that's not doable, then he needs to remove himself as much as possible from the drama and not give it any interest. And if or when she does make any moves, he'll just have to shoot it down and continue paying no interest in her.

    Like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. - Steve Jobs

    Comment

      #3
      Originally posted by Malaga View Post
      How is she trying to get back together with him if she hasn't made any moves? I'm just confused about that part.
      Well, her best friend told my SO that she was planning on doing it in the future. He has only run into his ex-fiancee once since finding out, so she hasn't had the time to make said "moves" on him. If that makes any sense.

      Thanks for the advice! I know that's how I should handle this, its just nice to hear it from someone else in a similar position (in an LDR).
      Every long lost dream led me to where you are
      Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
      Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
      This much I know is true...
      That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

      |First Met: 02/28/14|Exchanged Numbers: 03/07/14|First Date: 03/14/14|First Kiss: 03/21/14 |Became a couple: 04/05/14|

      Comment

        #4
        Yeah, if he can, I'd suggest that he block her from all social media for now, block her number (if he can), and set things straight if people take her side on things. It sounds like she's taking the break up really hard. She needs to keep her distance and he needs to stay away from her as much as possible. His friends should understand, but her friends won't.

        I'll be completely honest, without knowing the details of their break up it's near-impossible to give more specific advice besides "cut ties, ignore, remain civil, and set boundaries" which are kinda... normal for the whole break up situation. If he's non-confrontational this is gonna be hard on him, but he can deal with it.

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