So it's almost a month since I came home now and since then our relationship has been really rocky. In the first few days, I felt there was something going on and we talked. She said that she just lost her feelings. Right after that, I lost myself and become super insecure. I called and text her all the time and it annoyed her. I didn't want to be like that but it just burst out. As time goes, I talked with her and her friends and the problem as I perceive was that I was too immature.
First she thought that me being all insecure like that is immature. I admit it and I am now giving her some space, just a short message at the end of the day to talk about our day and all.
Then she thought the fact that I'm going home without a good plan in my mind (finding a short term job, do something ambitious...) was also immature. She loves to work and she has job now so I understand why she feels like that. However, that was not what I had in mind. I wasn't going to lie on my ass all day for the whole 4-month vacation. In fact, I tried to get a job in the UK where I study but failed. Then I figured that I might just go home and find another one. And I'm going to work starting next week. Sad thing is she wasn't aware of my plans since both of us were busy with our study and work. And I'm not the type of detail planning, I just make myself some goals, pick one and work on it until I have no more chance and move on the other one. So I couldn't tell her exactly what exactly I'm planning except I'm getting a job. To be honest, in the past, I was a carefree guy and was quite dependent on my gf. But since last year I started living on my own and with some ambitious friends so I'd say I'm more focus on my future and career now, but she still thinks that I'm the same person last year whom she had to tell what to do. I started to think that there were some problems in our communication that made her misunderstand and turned her off
We held hands, hugged and kissed but she said she didn't feel the spark anymore. I asked her if we should break up but she said she doesn't because she still loved me so much after almost 3 years together. She wants to take our relationship slow and simple. I still give her space and only text her once a day, but they just turn awkward though I tried to show that I still care and love her. But when I want to meet her she just hesitate and it makes me feel that she's not ready to see me.
I just think that the fact that she misunderstands me and my reaction to it made her lost attraction to me. We both want to make it work again and give the relationship a chance. So what can we do? I really appreciate you help.Thanks
First she thought that me being all insecure like that is immature. I admit it and I am now giving her some space, just a short message at the end of the day to talk about our day and all.
Then she thought the fact that I'm going home without a good plan in my mind (finding a short term job, do something ambitious...) was also immature. She loves to work and she has job now so I understand why she feels like that. However, that was not what I had in mind. I wasn't going to lie on my ass all day for the whole 4-month vacation. In fact, I tried to get a job in the UK where I study but failed. Then I figured that I might just go home and find another one. And I'm going to work starting next week. Sad thing is she wasn't aware of my plans since both of us were busy with our study and work. And I'm not the type of detail planning, I just make myself some goals, pick one and work on it until I have no more chance and move on the other one. So I couldn't tell her exactly what exactly I'm planning except I'm getting a job. To be honest, in the past, I was a carefree guy and was quite dependent on my gf. But since last year I started living on my own and with some ambitious friends so I'd say I'm more focus on my future and career now, but she still thinks that I'm the same person last year whom she had to tell what to do. I started to think that there were some problems in our communication that made her misunderstand and turned her off
We held hands, hugged and kissed but she said she didn't feel the spark anymore. I asked her if we should break up but she said she doesn't because she still loved me so much after almost 3 years together. She wants to take our relationship slow and simple. I still give her space and only text her once a day, but they just turn awkward though I tried to show that I still care and love her. But when I want to meet her she just hesitate and it makes me feel that she's not ready to see me.
I just think that the fact that she misunderstands me and my reaction to it made her lost attraction to me. We both want to make it work again and give the relationship a chance. So what can we do? I really appreciate you help.Thanks
Comment