Hey guys, I'm new, but I have a problem I really need answering, because it's been bugging and hurting me for days. Excuse me if I'm vague on the details of the relationship, I'll try and be as descriptive as possible without revealing much.
A backstory first: before the current relationship I am in now, I was 'in love' with another guy for a significant period of time. This 'love' was obsessive, unhealthy, and only contributed further to the low self-esteem that I suffer from. When I finally moved away, I never wanted to go through something like that ever again, knowing how much it destroyed me for such a long time.
Fast forward to now, I've been with my current boyfriend for around six months. Whilst together, everything is great. Sure, due to my mental health, we argue a bit, but even when it seems like we're on the brink of the end, we always manage to rescue and repair, and I'm looking for ways to get better, with his help. I felt like I fell out of the honeymoon stage quite early on, but despite this, in the last few weeks, I've still loved spending time with him and it's been time that I've treasured immensely, especially considering now we have to LDR.
This LDR is a pretty damn long one, but one I'm committed to seeing the end of, as someone who never seems to finish what they start. There is a rough end date, so it's not as though I'm hanging on until the call suddenly comes one day, I know when this will roughly end. It's vaguely expensive to meet him, but we want to meet every six weeks or so, when time and money allow.
Here's the problem: I don't feel like I'm missing him at all. In fact, I don't feel feeling-y at all. And it really disturbs me. Well, it's not too bad when I don't think about it too hard; when I listen to our music, I'll have a smile, if I smell something that reminds me of him, I smile, but nothing like the warm glow I'd get if I smelt 'his' smell in real life or if we listened to that music and danced round his room together. I read all of these posts on here saying 'I miss them so much', 'I get a massive ache all the time', 'how will I survive this when all I want to do is be with them', and I just can't relate. It's not that I don't want to be with him, it's just that I don't really have much of a burning desire to. I feel indifferent, and my relationship deserves better than indifference.
I certainly don't want to split up. He's one of the only people who actually understands me and accepts me completely, and I'm the same to him. He's my best friend, and if we were still in a CR, there would be no problems. Sometimes I've seen him too often and I feel a bit like I need time with other people, but after a day of not seeing him (but still on Facebook), that soon goes. I want to grow with him and experience my life with him. This is exactly what I needed after the last guy that I 'loved' - I'm not being too obsessive and needy, and I can love someone not to the detriment of my own health. It's not like I was even in a rush to get into a relationship after I moved away, this one I'm in snuck up on me.
How can I bring back the IRL feels and stop being so worried about not being caught up in feels right now? Thanks guys
A backstory first: before the current relationship I am in now, I was 'in love' with another guy for a significant period of time. This 'love' was obsessive, unhealthy, and only contributed further to the low self-esteem that I suffer from. When I finally moved away, I never wanted to go through something like that ever again, knowing how much it destroyed me for such a long time.
Fast forward to now, I've been with my current boyfriend for around six months. Whilst together, everything is great. Sure, due to my mental health, we argue a bit, but even when it seems like we're on the brink of the end, we always manage to rescue and repair, and I'm looking for ways to get better, with his help. I felt like I fell out of the honeymoon stage quite early on, but despite this, in the last few weeks, I've still loved spending time with him and it's been time that I've treasured immensely, especially considering now we have to LDR.
This LDR is a pretty damn long one, but one I'm committed to seeing the end of, as someone who never seems to finish what they start. There is a rough end date, so it's not as though I'm hanging on until the call suddenly comes one day, I know when this will roughly end. It's vaguely expensive to meet him, but we want to meet every six weeks or so, when time and money allow.
Here's the problem: I don't feel like I'm missing him at all. In fact, I don't feel feeling-y at all. And it really disturbs me. Well, it's not too bad when I don't think about it too hard; when I listen to our music, I'll have a smile, if I smell something that reminds me of him, I smile, but nothing like the warm glow I'd get if I smelt 'his' smell in real life or if we listened to that music and danced round his room together. I read all of these posts on here saying 'I miss them so much', 'I get a massive ache all the time', 'how will I survive this when all I want to do is be with them', and I just can't relate. It's not that I don't want to be with him, it's just that I don't really have much of a burning desire to. I feel indifferent, and my relationship deserves better than indifference.
I certainly don't want to split up. He's one of the only people who actually understands me and accepts me completely, and I'm the same to him. He's my best friend, and if we were still in a CR, there would be no problems. Sometimes I've seen him too often and I feel a bit like I need time with other people, but after a day of not seeing him (but still on Facebook), that soon goes. I want to grow with him and experience my life with him. This is exactly what I needed after the last guy that I 'loved' - I'm not being too obsessive and needy, and I can love someone not to the detriment of my own health. It's not like I was even in a rush to get into a relationship after I moved away, this one I'm in snuck up on me.
How can I bring back the IRL feels and stop being so worried about not being caught up in feels right now? Thanks guys
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