Our first month together has come to an end :(

[Cat-and-Austin]

So today I took my boyfriend back to the airport and he boarded a plane and is currently flying back to America. We met for the first time face to face on June 2nd after two and a half years of waiting and maintaining our relationship over the internet with Skype, Viber and Couple. He stayed with me here in Britain for a month and today was his last day.

I just wanted some advice on how to deal with this - since I got home I have felt completely empty and alone - the loneliness is much worse than I thought it would be and I keep thinking he is going to walk through the door at any minute and when he doesn't I start crying. I don't want to do anything or see anyone, I'm just tracking his flight and watching is get further and further away from me.

Everyone has already said that I have to look forward to the next time (Christmas) and not think about it but I was hoping someone on here would have some more poignant advice because although I am looking forward to the next time - right now I feel like everything is falling apart and I miss him so much. We had the most amazing month of my life and I feel so lost now that it's come to an end.

[lilspitfire]

It will be hard of course. You're away from someone you love. Try to distract yourself with things. Music, TV, a movie. Even if you're not paying attention, you can use it as white noise. Make a blog or write in a journal. I don't know *exactly* where you're coming from as I've yet to meet mine (11 days) but I have an idea. It's not a forever goodbye. Just until you say hello again.

[Cat-and-Austin]

Thank you, thats what I've been trying to do (been playing Spyro on PS1 for 5 hours! haha) I can't decide if I want to go and socialise with my family or not - not sure if it feels better to be alone :/

Good luck to you and your partner! It will be the most amazing time of your life! Have a wonderful time!

[lilspitfire]

Thanks!!!! Maybe socialize with people online first and then work towards others? We are all here for that.

[Cat-and-Austin]

Yeah good idea - a couple of friends messaged me so I'm just speaking to them

[squeeker]

Aww the first few days or so are the toughest, as you get used to not having them around physically anymore. Also try and video chat (skype or whatever you use) with him so you can see each others' faces and remember it's all worth it. And then find things to keep you busy when you can't talk/skype, like a new hobby, or watch some other TV or read a book or watch a movie, things that distract. But also you can embrace the feelings and write a journal or blog or draw some pictures or whatever suits you, some way to express yourself.. maybe write a song if you are any way musically inclined. And make a countdown, and remember.. each day that you get through is one day closer to your next visit! And Christmas is in December right and it's August now, so that's only a little over 4 months apart! The shortest my boyfriend and I have gone without seeing each other in person was 6 months, between the first two visits. You can do this!! It's okay to be sad, as you have every right to be, but then ease into the things you used to do, your routine of talking before you met. And when you are missing each other, just reflect on your first meeting and imagine your next meeting, and plan for the future!

[Cat-and-Austin]

Thank you - it all sounds like a good idea, tomorrow I think I'm going to start on my pile of books I've been waiting to read and he is waking me tonight on Skype when he finally arrives home - we usually cam all night and most of the day so I suppose it will at least be a little bit like having him here. I really want to start planning for next time but due to circumstances we aren't sure whether it will be him coming to me or me to him and also we don't know solid dates yet either because of school term dates - but I suppose when those are sorted I'll feel better because it will be something solid for me to focus on.

[TwoThree]

Give yourself some time to feel miserable, I'd say. It's perfectly normal to feel depressed and unmotivated after a first (or any) separation. Just don't let it last too long before you go back to real life.

[Cat-and-Austin]

Yeah that's what I'm trying to do at least

Think I tried to socialise with family too quickly and ended up having an argument with my mum because apparently I was being moody and she felt unappreciated... brilliant.

[SquigglePops]

What I did was make a box to send to him, full of "open when..." letters and funny little presents and such. I made 100 letters and some of these included presents so it took me a few weeks to get it together...it consumed my mind but as I was still thinking about him I still felt connected to him. It helped me a lot and he absolutely loved it!

B x

[Cat-and-Austin]

That sounds amazing! And I actually have the time to do that seeing as it is the summer holidays! I might give it a go! Thank you so much!

[RachelAnne]

It'll get hard but if you think about it, Christmas isn't that far away The time will fly. Give yourself a couple days to be sad, then pick yourself up. Life goes on and it isn't goodbye forever

[Zapookie]

It took me a good 3 days to stop involuntarily crying. After about two weeks I was out of the blues. Keep yourself busy, honestly. Anything that will keep your mind off of it is a good thing. Also you have another visit to look forward to which is only 4 months away! Thats a huge thing to be happy about.

[Cat-and-Austin]

It'll get hard but if you think about it, Christmas isn't that far away The time will fly. Give yourself a couple days to be sad, then pick yourself up. Life goes on and it isn't goodbye forever

Thank you, you're right, I'm feeling better today - especially now that he's back home and we can cam together.

It took me a good 3 days to stop involuntarily crying. After about two weeks I was out of the blues. Keep yourself busy, honestly. Anything that will keep your mind off of it is a good thing. Also you have another visit to look forward to which is only 4 months away! Thats a huge thing to be happy about.

Yeah, I teared up in the store today because he wasn't with me to ask if we could buy Doritos! But I also sorted out my passport for when I go over at Christmas and his mum also finally said that I was allowed to go over! So all in all there is a lot of silver linings

[faith_patience_believe]

This kind of pain is some of the worst you can experience in my opinion. The loneliness is incredible. The best thing you can do is remember that you aren't alone in this. He's feeling the same loneliness and you've got this awesome site of people in the same situation as you. You may need a few days alone to deal with the immediate pain, but then plan some events with friends and family and try to get back to your normal routine. It WILL get better. Focus your excitement on the next time you'll be together!