Love vs Dreams

[silvermoonfairy3]

Yeah planning on studying at a CHEAP state school in the USA? Plan on at least $10,000 a year. And not being allowed to work.

And at some schools, that's not even including room or board, definitely doesn't include transportation, and books are extra on top of it.
*sigh*
Our higher education pricing is out of control.

[Cristiana]

I had no idea. Seems like it's still chepaer than in the US, though. You can always come to Germany, we'll teach you anything for 250€/semester.

By the way, my SO went to Germany for 3 years every month, and he told me it would be a good country to live in. Few of his friends moved there.

[rhabdoviridae]

Your aspirations should always come first. I know that doesn't sound romantic but a solid education cannot be erased. You will carry your education and your experiences with you forever; your relationship can end, either intentionally or through some terrible turn of events. This is the reason I'm in an LDR right now: because the only school I was accepted to was in another country, and my career goal of becoming a veterinarian was important to me. My SO told me that if anything every happened to him, at least I would have my education/career. I told him I didn't want the distance to make me have to choose between him and my career, but we are definitely making a huge sacrifice by being apart for four years just so I can get this degree.

That being said, I think you're jumping the gun. I don't think the US is all that you're thinking it is (we have the same problems you mention, and potentially worse). Have you considered moving to where he is, where he already has a job and stable life? It wouldn't be Italy, which would appease your desire to leave the country, but it wouldn't be so big a move (and perhaps not so difficult to secure) than a move to the US. Food for thought at least.

[whatruckus]

Your aspirations should always come first. I know that doesn't sound romantic but a solid education cannot be erased. You will carry your education and your experiences with you forever; your relationship can end, either intentionally or through some terrible turn of events. This is the reason I'm in an LDR right now: because the only school I was accepted to was in another country, and my career goal of becoming a veterinarian was important to me. My SO told me that if anything every happened to him, at least I would have my education/career. I told him I didn't want the distance to make me have to choose between him and my career, but we are definitely making a huge sacrifice by being apart for four years just so I can get this degree.

That being said, I think you're jumping the gun. I don't think the US is all that you're thinking it is (we have the same problems you mention, and potentially worse). Have you considered moving to where he is, where he already has a job and stable life? It wouldn't be Italy, which would appease your desire to leave the country, but it wouldn't be so big a move (and perhaps not so difficult to secure) than a move to the US. Food for thought at least.

Agreed. Like I said before, the US isn't as glamorous as those from out of the country think it is.

[lucybelle]

Agreed. Like I said before, the US isn't as glamorous as those from out of the country think it is.

I think the USA is awesome and I love being here. But I'm sure not everyone would love it. The awesome thing about the USA is it's so damn big, you're bound to find a city that you like.

(that being said, I still think the OP is thinking way too far in advance and is glamorizing a move to the USA)

[silvermoonfairy3]

I think the USA is awesome and I love being here.

Are you from the US originally, or did you move here from elsewhere? I always like to hear about how people end up here and if they like it.

For me, I kinda view the US as family, and other countries (UK, primarily) as friends. The US raised me, and I love it even when we disagree, but I didn't choose it. I was born into it.

The UK is somewhere I chose, and love in a different way. I want to spend time with friends (other countries) and explore outside of family (US), but my deepest loyalties would likely always be to the US first, and I like knowing it's always there no matter how long I've been gone.

[Ahava]

I don't know where in Italy you are, are you northern where they might get snow?
How do you like the cold? The Northeast gets snow. And cold. And it's grey. And everything dies. And people get depressed. (No, really! There's a disorder! It's called Seasonal Affective Disorder.)

lol.. not trying to dissuade you, because the northeast is awesome, but the number one complaint I've heard from people moving to the northeast (and this includes from people moving from Cali/Arizona/the west coast!) is that they have a very hard time with our winters.
Our winters seem to last forever. It gets dark early, people hole up in their houses, and there are times when it's bitingly, bone-numbingly, bitterly cold.

This past winter, we had a particularly bad cold snap for awhile. There are times when you can walk outside to go to your car, and as soon as you open the door, you cough, because the cold air gets into your lungs, and it's an automatic reaction. There are times when it's so cold cars just don't start, and the doors of cars freeze shut.

If you don't like the cold, winters here will suuuuuuck. And they last for several months.

I'm one of the weird freaks who enjoys winter to an extent, I like having 4 different seasons. But even I get affected by it, and temperate climates have an allure.

Are you sure you don't live in Finland?
As it sounds just like it!

[lucybelle]

Are you from the US originally, or did you move here from elsewhere? I always like to hear about how people end up here and if they like it.

For me, I kinda view the US as family, and other countries (UK, primarily) as friends. The US raised me, and I love it even when we disagree, but I didn't choose it. I was born into it.

The UK is somewhere I chose, and love in a different way. I want to spend time with friends (other countries) and explore outside of family (US), but my deepest loyalties would likely always be to the US first, and I like knowing it's always there no matter how long I've been gone.

Born and raised in USA, lived elsewhere for three years, just got back three weeks ago.

I could be (and was) happy living in many places. The USA is one of those places.

You complain about northeast winters, I'd never want to live there either! But like I said before, the USA is so damn big you can easily move to a place with more mild winters or no winter at all!

[silvermoonfairy3]

You complain about northeast winters

I do, but there are good things about them, too.
For the first 3-4 snowstorms, I enjoy the snow. It looks gorgeous on the trees. I also like bundling up in warm sweaters and scarves. If there's a snowstorm and I don't have anywhere to go, they can be really lovely...drinking hot cocoa or tea and reading a book while the snow falls.

Buuuuut, then it gets to be about February and everything's still grey and dead and you're like "seriously? how is this still going?" lol. It's also paaaainfully hard to get out of bed in the winter sometimes. Snuggled up under thick comforters, and you know that if you get up you're going to shiver hurrying to get dressed warmly enough.

But, on weekends with a partner, when you can sleep in, staying in that pod of warmth.. it's realllly nice.

If winter were like 2-3 months instead of, essentially like 5.. I'd like it more. lol.

But yeah, the US is huge, and there are definitely ways to avoid winter.
But then you might also miss autumn, which with the changing leaves and crisp days here is just stunning.

[silvermoonfairy3]

Are you sure you don't live in Finland?
As it sounds just like it!

lol.. yeah, but you guys get the Northern Lights, right? I can't see those in my state, so Finland has better things to offset the winters.

A friend of my sister's is Finnish. Her last name is Liimatainen, it's so vowely! I love it. I told her I'm going to double all the vowels in my last name to match. :P

[Ejoriah]

I never quite felt at home in my home country, Mauritius. I always thought I'd leave one day and see the world. When I was 14, I went to the UK with some friends and immediately knew that I wanted to live there. I fell in love with the place, despite the fact that I come from a tropical island and the amount of rainfall and gloom in London can be overwhelming. I realized that the only way I could get out to the UK anytime soon was by getting into university there. I worked so damn hard to get the perfect grades, to be the best possible so that I could go where I thought I really wanted to. When I was 16 I fell in love with a man from Cornwall, saved money to visit him when I was 17, and fell in love with his piece of the UK even more than I had London. I researched universities, applied to one that looked perfect for me, waited, got a response... I was in!

And then I couldn't afford to pay the tuition fees and had to turn everything down. Someone told me that the US was more generous with scholarships, so I started looking there. Ultimately the only way I could afford to go to the US was to live with a host family that agreed that I could stay with them pretty much rent free. I went to a community college to keep the costs down, but even that you're still paying triple what US citizens get to pay. I transferred to a University where I was lucky to land two scholarships, which together cut my tuition bill in half. Even with that, it was something like $10,000 a year just for school. And it was a state university so not even one of the nicest, extremely expensive ones. Tuition at those can reach $50000/year easily.

Almost four years later here I am in Kansas, a place I had no intention whatsoever of visiting, let alone live in. And let me tell you, I am loving it here. I am living in the most liberal place in the state, which helps tremendously of course, but I fell in love with the Kansas plains and the countryside and the sunsets that seem to go on forever on a clear evening. The winters can be harsh (I landed in December 2010, two days after I landed snow started falling and there was still snow on the ground at the end of February) and the weather doesn't really know what it's doing, and I've been woken up in the early morning with tornado sirens, but where I am right now feels more like home than anywhere I've ever been. Sure, I struggle with the cold sometimes because I just can't seem to get warm, and when people are in short sleeves and shorts I am bundled in jeans and a sweater. Sure, the fact that I can't afford to have a car (because, as an international student, you aren't allowed to work in any way that would allow you to make enough money for everything) means that I have to either walk or take the bus (again, I am in one of the rare Kansas towns where there IS a bus system, so it works for me). But it is home now, and vastly different from what my 14- or 17-year-old self imagined.

In short, of course you should follow your dream. I am in no way telling you not to. But the world is a huge place and things can happen unexpectedly that lead you to someplace where you can be happy and, dare I say it, make new dreams. Don't get so focused on one place that you can't at least consider other places. Life at 17 is fresh and exciting and full of uncertainties, and I wish you the best of luck

[JaneEmily]

I never quite felt at home in my home country, Mauritius. I always thought I'd leave one day and see the world. When I was 14, I went to the UK with some friends and immediately knew that I wanted to live there. I fell in love with the place, despite the fact that I come from a tropical island and the amount of rainfall and gloom in London can be overwhelming. I realized that the only way I could get out to the UK anytime soon was by getting into university there. I worked so damn hard to get the perfect grades, to be the best possible so that I could go where I thought I really wanted to. When I was 16 I fell in love with a man from Cornwall, saved money to visit him when I was 17, and fell in love with his piece of the UK even more than I had London. I researched universities, applied to one that looked perfect for me, waited, got a response... I was in!

I noticed you mentioned Cornwall, which is where I live! My family moved down from London in 2008 to give me and my sisters a better chance of education (the college I went to was pretty decent, unfortunately due to finances and losing a roof over our heads back in 2010, I was unable to go to Uni - I had wanted to study at Falmouth which isn't too far from me) and experiencing a better quality of life. The weather in Cornwall is far more milder than it is in say, London etc which makes it extremely magical. It made me feel happy that someone else on here loves Cornwall too