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    #1

    Daily Communication Advice

    I met this guy online 3 weeks ago. We have seen each other 3 times. We're 4 hours apart. He verbally tells me he wants a relationship with me.

    At the beginning, he would text or call early in the day and throughout the afternoon then again at night. The communication has decreased and it's sometimes in the afternoon before he makes the 1st contact and the nighttime texts have decreased too. I told him the other day that I would like more communication daily and he apologized and said he would do better and assured me nothing has changed in what he wants.

    Am I overreacting? Am I being insecure? Am I expecting too much for wanting morning and nighttime communication?
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    #2
    Well does he have an.explanation for the lack there of? Like is he working? Or is he just at home and waits. Text you? (Do you ever text him first?)
    "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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      #3
      I think you're overreacting before even knowing what's going on. He's probably just busy. It doesn't mean his feelings have changed any for you. He he said he would make more of an effort and that he still cares about you. But, if it's bothering you, it won't hurt to talk about it.

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        #4
        Originally posted by RachelAnne View Post
        I think you're overreacting before even knowing what's going on. He's probably just busy. It doesn't mean his feelings have changed any for you. He he said he would make more of an effort and that he still cares about you. But, if it's bothering you, it won't hurt to talk about it.
        I agree with RachelAnne

        If you have an issue with the decrease in communication express why, and talk about ways to fix it. If he is busy maybe you two could talk about what times of the day are best for communication. That could help with your worrying if you know what times of day you two are going to talk it can ease the worrying about when you will talk.

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          #5
          Thanks ya'll. I do sometimes text first, and I did tell him how I felt this past Mon. Nothing has changed. All he said when I talked about it is he's just a quiet person, but I guess my concern is that at the beginning he contacted me several times a day especially morning and night.

          And I like your suggestions. I will talk about it again and hopefully things will improve.

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            #6
            I wish you luck, let us know how it goes!

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              #7
              At first, things are new and exciting and communication tends to be more frequent and easier. Now that things are settling a bit, it's likely more representative of the effort he puts into communicating. Everyone is different in how they communicate, it's just a matter of reaching a compromise. I would find a middle ground that makes you both happy without stretching either too thin.
              In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
              In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
              -- Maya Angelou

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                #8
                It seems that when they get comfortable with you, they relax a bit on the communication. It doesn't mean that they don't care anymore. Also, it can ebb and flow, depending on how busy or preoccupied they are, how they are feeling, if they are tired or sick, or just because life just gets in the way sometimes. As long as you have a give and take between you, and some semblance of regular communication, you are OK. Even if it's a bit sporadic, as long as it's two-way communication, you are OK.


                TWO HEARTS BEATING AS ONE, LOVE BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN...

                Nothing Can Keep Us Apart, Safe In Each Other's Heart

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                  #9
                  My fiancé is an hour behind me...we used to text a lot in the early days. It's more about the quality of the communication than quantity of it.
                  We talk/skype almost every day...if either of us is too busy we make sure to explain to the other. This helps reduce misunderstandings between us.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by AussieAmericanGirl66 View Post
                    It seems that when they get comfortable with you, they relax a bit on the communication. It doesn't mean that they don't care anymore. Also, it can ebb and flow, depending on how busy or preoccupied they are, how they are feeling, if they are tired or sick, or just because life just gets in the way sometimes. As long as you have a give and take between you, and some semblance of regular communication, you are OK. Even if it's a bit sporadic, as long as it's two-way communication, you are OK.
                    Agreed completely. My SO and I used to talk alllllllll the time, then when we started dating, it trickled off. Lol. I got used to it. We still talk just about every day, but not as long, or as often throughout the day. Sometimes we don't even talk all day, depending on how busy we both are and if he goes to sleep right after work. Not a big deal. Don't worry about it.

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                      #11
                      I agree with other posters that once your SO get "comfortable" the communication habits can change. My SO used to always message good morning and good night as well as message me throughout the day. We still have regular communication but he doesn't bother so much in making a point with the "good night" message anymore, which irks me, as we're sometimes in mid-conversation. It's great that you made the initiative to talk to him about it! If nothing changes in the change of communication, maybe bring it up again.
                      When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far,
                      no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart.

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                        #12
                        I think the most important thing is to see what his expectations are. How much he wants to talk, when he wants to talk to you. Also try to see what his schedule is like. Does he work full or part time? Does he have a lot of other commitments? Usually if he's having trouble contacting you he'll have a reason

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                          #13
                          I get all weird when my BF doesn't text or call often. Sometimes he calls me 3-4 times a day. Sometimes it's hard to get one call out of him. I have to remind myself that he has more going on in his life than me. I'm not saying you're being all demanding or anything... just saying that I don't think it is really anything you need to worry about. There's an ebb & flow and it sounds like that's just what's going on

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                            #14
                            You should just have a talk with him other than just saying "I want more time." That's vague.

                            Ask him "So what is your work/class schedule like?" "What days/hours are you free?" "Are you busy?" Inquire about why he can't call as much and then offer to ask to work around that.

                            I've had issues with this as of late and it got to the better part of me and I regret it. Show concern for him, not just the necessity of meeting your wants and needs.

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