I feel like he has given up...

[laurenandjames9]

Things were going great with Kaleb, and I don't really know what happened. He is back at school now, so we don't talk as much. That's not the problem, but when we do talk, he hardly says anything, he never asks me if I am ok anymore, or what I have been doing. He also never mentions about going on Skype. Everytime I try to speak to him about how I feel, he has a go at me and says that everything is fine.

I just feel like there is something he wants to say. If he is really having doubts I would rather him just say.

What do I do?

Lauren

[Miasmata]

Well, you can't force him to talk, but you can definitely show him that you are concerned and that he doesn't have to fear being honest with you. There could be a multitude of things bothering him, and you two would always benefit from openly discussing it rather than hiding it away. You should underline that, and how important it is to you that you understand what's up. Best of luck!

[laurenandjames9]

I will try if I ever get the chance to speak to him.

Thank You

Lauren

[lilspitfire]

Why does he suddenly not want to Skype?

[laurenandjames9]

I really don't know. We used to talk on the phone aswell. He always seems to be busy. I understand that he is back at school now, but he could make a little time for me.

Lauren

[lilspitfire]

Does he go to school from 12 am till 11:59 pm? I highly doubt it. Not a good enough reason to stop talking to someone as often, imo. My SO and I both work with different days off and we make time for each other. Plus he helps his parents on one of his days off and uses the other to take care of stuff around his house and give himself some time for him. And that's just my relationship. There's scores of others on here with even more complexity and they still make do. Talk to him. Use I feels and try not to make it seem all his fault. I understand you started school again and get busy, but I feel that you don't make the effort to spend time with anymore. Is there anything we (not making it his fault) can do to help stop this line of thinking?

[laurenandjames9]

That's what I think too. He goes to his Dads every other weekend, and he can't get signal when he is there, which I understand. I just feel like I am making all the effort, and he isn't making any. I have been staying away late just to talk to him, but he makes no effort or says he is busy doing homework or something.

Thank You

Lauren

[Bobbiejeanne]

The first few weeks of school can be a little hectic (getting back into the right mindset for learning, etc.) so bear that in mind.

I would inform him of your concern and ask if anything is bothering him or is on his mind. Let him know how you feel! And maybe now is the best time to talk about how much you both feel is the right amount to communicate during the school year. He might want to cut down a little due to homework or extracurriculars, but you both need to clearly speak your mind on the subject, and hopefully find some middle ground on an amount you're both comfortable with.

[laurenandjames9]

I stayed up late again last night to talk to him. I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, so I messaged him and said I'm going to sleep now. If there is something bothering you I would really like to know, I know you're back at school now and I understand that we can't talk as much, but I feel like you aren't putting in any effort to talk to me. When I got up this morning, he just said no everything is fine, I feel asleep when I got home that's all. When I go back to Sixth Form, it will be even harder because I will have already gone to bed by the time he gets home. I feel like I am putting everything into this relationship, and getting nothing out of it. I understand it's his senior year and everything, but is it that hard to make a little time for me out of 24 hours!

[differentcountries]

It may be that he is busy but fine. You are not fine. Tell him that.

[laurenandjames9]

Then he has a go at me, and tells me that I'm being stupid, and what I am saying is not true. He doesn't value my opinion. I always accept his opinion, even if I do not agree.

[JaneEmily]

Then he has a go at me, and tells me that I'm being stupid, and what I am saying is not true. He doesn't value my opinion. I always accept his opinion, even if I do not agree.

I dunno. If he is calling you stupid, are you sure this kind of relationship is right for you? You've only recently got out of one LDR straight into another. Have you given yourself enough time to heal/recover from your past problems with your ex to make this relationship different? You're still pretty young and to go from one difficult situation to another isn't easy to do for anyone especially someone young, and being called stupid for feeling the way you do is not right. He may be stressed out about school, but it gives him no excuse to treat you like a play-toy then to insult your intelligence. You deserve better than these guys who act all sweet in the beginning then turn on you when you just want some compassion. They seem to show their true colours pretty quickly.

[laurenandjames9]

You're probably right. I know I shouldn't have gone from one LDR to another, but it just felt right with Kaleb. I just feel like I am not apart of his life in anyway, I've said before if you haven't got time for a girlfriend then just say, but he says he has. Kaleb is a good person deep down.

[differentcountries]

He may be a good person, but is he a good boyfriend to you?

Telling you how you feel is not "true" is absurd and dismissive. Telling you you are stupid is extremely offensive. He obviously wants to hurt your feelings. This could be a way of breaking up with you without actually having to say the words.

Everyone has time for a girlfriend, if they want to. I don't think he wants to.

[laurenandjames9]

That's what I keep thinking. I would rather him be honest with me now, than him carry it on for months and then finally say something. I just want him to be honest but he won't. He said this morning that he wants me to be patient and that he will talk to me soon. School is his top priority I understand, but don't be in a LDR if you aren't willing to make the effort to talk, seeing as we are in different time zones. I got my AS results yesterday, he never asked me what I got. He also knows that my Grandad is in hospital, has he checked to see how he is? no. It just seems like it's all about him, and what he is doing.