So, I'm 30, my SO is 31, we dated close distance for 7 months, he moved away to another country on a 3 year work visa. We've been together almost 1 year and a half, with almost a year of that being long distance.
We have had talks about marriage. I'm more open to the idea of being married after we have dated more, even if it is long distance. He feels that dating long distance isn't the same as dating close distance, and wants to wait until he returns (3 years!) and for our relationship to progress more from there. So, basically he wants us to wait it out until we close the distance and have our relationship progress normally.
I have told him that sometimes I have this fear that he is stringing me along with no commitment. He didn't have anything to say in response to that.
Before he left, he did tell me he can't promise me anything, other than that he wants us to be together and for the relationship to progress. He loves me, and wants to be with me, pays for my flights to visit him, makes time for me, and is over all considerate and makes me a priority as best he can given his work commitments.
However, I still can't shake the feeling that he isn't committed. I don't know if it is reasonable to date long distance for 3 years without the promise of marriage. In the beginning, he said that we would do long distance for a year and then think about getting married, but now that it's been that long, he said he doesn't feel that he's ready for that yet. It's true, after dating close distance for 7 months, and then seeing each other for a total of about a month spread out over a year long distance, that's not a huge amount of time spent together.
Do I have reasons for concern? Should I be more patient? I know lots of people here have waited for as long or longer.
Am I being too close-minded to think there should be a timeline for things like marriage? I just don't want to be that couple who date forever and then end up breaking up.
We have had talks about marriage. I'm more open to the idea of being married after we have dated more, even if it is long distance. He feels that dating long distance isn't the same as dating close distance, and wants to wait until he returns (3 years!) and for our relationship to progress more from there. So, basically he wants us to wait it out until we close the distance and have our relationship progress normally.
I have told him that sometimes I have this fear that he is stringing me along with no commitment. He didn't have anything to say in response to that.
Before he left, he did tell me he can't promise me anything, other than that he wants us to be together and for the relationship to progress. He loves me, and wants to be with me, pays for my flights to visit him, makes time for me, and is over all considerate and makes me a priority as best he can given his work commitments.
However, I still can't shake the feeling that he isn't committed. I don't know if it is reasonable to date long distance for 3 years without the promise of marriage. In the beginning, he said that we would do long distance for a year and then think about getting married, but now that it's been that long, he said he doesn't feel that he's ready for that yet. It's true, after dating close distance for 7 months, and then seeing each other for a total of about a month spread out over a year long distance, that's not a huge amount of time spent together.
Do I have reasons for concern? Should I be more patient? I know lots of people here have waited for as long or longer.
Am I being too close-minded to think there should be a timeline for things like marriage? I just don't want to be that couple who date forever and then end up breaking up.
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