There seems to be no future for us

[Moon]

Moon, In my life I have seen so much much black and white, it would make you cry. I love middle ground but sometimes you have to pick a stance and stand your grand. I also believe in picking new color names, but when it comes down to move or not, there is no gray.

Oh, I don't know. I'm relatively sure that one day, one of us will make the move. But since there are so many factors, I have no idea which of us it'll be, or when, so for me, moving is pretty gray right now and I'm OK with that.

[lucybelle]

I think it's weird to say that someone would rather be miserable and with their SO than not. I would NEVER let my SO make himself miserable for me. There's a difference between compromise and giving up who you are. I'm in a relationship where we compromise. We've both moved, we've both been homesick, but if my SO tells me he's miserable, then a new plan needs to be hashed out. If someone is in a relationship with a partner who finds it perfectly okay for their partner to be miserable, then that's a shitty relationship.

[differentcountries]

"It is not about "making" someone leave their home, it is about jointly making the best decition as a couple." Profoundly said!

Well thanks!

[lyonsgirl]

Oh, I don't know. I'm relatively sure that one day, one of us will make the move. But since there are so many factors, I have no idea which of us it'll be, or when, so for me, moving is pretty gray right now and I'm OK with that.

But are there fifty shades of gray? (sorry I'm not sorry. I had to do it.)

[differentcountries]

I think it's weird to say that someone would rather be miserable and with their SO than not. I would NEVER let my SO make himself miserable for me. There's a difference between compromise and giving up who you are. I'm in a relationship where we compromise. We've both moved, we've both been homesick, but if my SO tells me he's miserable, then a new plan needs to be hashed out. If someone is in a relationship with a partner who finds it perfectly okay for their partner to be miserable, then that's a shitty relationship.

Did anyone say they would be ok with a partner feeling like shit, they wouldn't really mind? I am aware that the relationship is potentionally putting him through a lot, but my love is not a threat to him and it doesn't force his hand. Even as he is overwealmed he wants this. But I must put reigns on his impulsive nature, try to estimate what he can handle long-term. And I also must calculate how many new factors I myself can handle at any given time, like I used to stress lots about the language because I felt left out, wheras now even if I just understand a third of it I feel kept in the loop and I don't rely on SO as much for translation. I think you can get used to a lot if you take it in baby steps. I believe in making things good for all parties, which is more than a compromise, it is opening up to what is unknown.

[Moon]

But are there fifty shades of gray? (sorry I'm not sorry. I had to do it.)

What the hell is wrong with you?

[lyonsgirl]

What the hell is wrong with you?

You love me.

[TwoThree]

[snow]

I feel lit right now and I am not even leaving or know if/when I will be leaving, but there is things I know I will miss a lot when I move. I know I will be home sick. Truthfully, I have spent my whole life, 25 years with the exceptions of some minor trips, with my twin sister, day and night. We even shared a bed for most of our lives. So, yes, I can relate to feeling home sick, but I would still give it a chance.

A chance is not 3 days, a chance is really making an effort to see where life takes you. Who knows, maybe I will be absolutely fine with the situation, maybe we will need to figure something out down the line, but I will make an effort to be comfortable in his home country and I can only hope he understands it.

But, in our case, we always had Plan B in mind, which would have him move to me, or any European country where we both could find employment.