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    What do you think?

    Alright so here's the deal. Recently my gf and I haven't really been talking, probably only once a day and only for about an hour. We've been together for about 8 months now and we use to talk 5-6 per day and four hours on end but now it's changed since she started going to college. Yes, I do realize she is busy with college but even on the weekends only about one hour a day we talk now. I also do realize that I'm wanting her attention but not all of it, I mean only having one hour a day to talk makes me feel insignificant to her and that I'm not even a priority for her. I'm kinda...eh right now because in my opinion, I'm barely getting any of her attention like I use to when we first started dating.
    So I could use some help on this one and what do you guys and girls think about only having one hour a day to talk to your gf/bf?
    Start of LDR: December 2009
    First met: August 2008
    First meeting irl: Never
    Break up: February 8 2012

    Price of relationship: Pain
    Price of the memories: Priceless
    I'll always know that she was my first love that I took seriously.
    I'll miss you, Vanessa.

    I may young and stupid but I can't help it at all.

    #2
    I'm sure she's just busy, if it really bothers you then I'd bring it up to her, but I would honestly LOVE to get to talk to my bf that much, I'm lucky if we get 2 hours a week total.


    我爱我的男朋友我。现在我们一起。

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      #3
      I know how you're feeling because some days me and my boyfriend are only able to talk on the phone 1 hour a day. But this is because we have such busy schedules. He works and I go to college, and between all the homework I have and all the work he has, we just make our schedules work. The best advice I can give you is that you have to appreciate the time you have to talk with your girlfriend. Be happy Best of luck!

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        #4
        I wish I had that hour.

        College keeps people busy with not only classes, but homework and research and sometimes socializing. If it's work and fatigue on her end cutting your hours there's not much you can do but be supportive and understanding. However, if it's truly honestly bothering you, ask her if there is a possibility she could make just a bit more time for you as you're lonely and do miss her quite a bunch. Don't make it sound like she needs to do it, but simply suggest and be honest with it.

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          #5
          I talk to my man maybe 4 hours a week, which is a blessing, I know a lot of LDR couples aren't able to do that.

          College is a BIG change. She's got new surroundings, new obligations and responsibilities. It's a growing period for her, but also for you too. It might feel like she's ignoring you, but it's probably the relationship that's growing/changing. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Maturity is essential for getting stronger. But like everyone else said, if it really is hurting you, talk with her about it in a loving way. And yeah, don't make it sound like she's doing something wrong. I'm sure she's honestly really, really busy.

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            #6
            I understand the "one hour a day" thing. My man's in the military, and we don't always get to talk to each other at all. It's very hard to be in an LDR, especially if your SO is busy in their everyday life. Talk to her about how you're feeling and what you'd like to see change. Maybe you guys can work something out, like, everyday at 7pm, set aside a specific amount of time to talk to each other. :]
            Good luck!
            Maybe I'm meant for the sea. We pass it by so passively & all that's said is what we know;; We'll watch it come;; We'll watch it go..

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              #7
              I understand how you feel! I'm going through the same situation! My bf is not giving me the attention that I deserve, and we talk just 1 hour once per week buuuh... Is not good really! is not! in a LDR the couples must keep in touch, because that is the only way we can show our love to each other, if we don't keep in touch, while the time goes the feeling will begin to go down... I advice you to talk with your girl about how she is making you feel and to try to work it out together...

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                #8
                I would openly discuss with her how you are feeling...but at the same time recognize that her life has changed...and she is adjusting too...it will work it's way out..it is hard from going from talking all the time to not much at all..I understand that!
                NY to Texas Married on...August 17th, 2013

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                  #9
                  Well, you've been going out now for 8 months, and she's probably feeling secure enough that perhaps she doesn't feel the need to talk as much on top of being busy. However, it's important to you, so you need to talk to her, bring it up. Maybe she feels like she needs to be keeping busy, especially since the distance makes her miss you like crazy. In that case, I would see if you can get her to do something with you online, like a game or something. Ask her if there's something you can do to spend more 'dating' time, like having a date night once a week, etc. The list of things for couples to do on here is really awesome.


                  LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

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                    #10
                    Wow, I didn't expect this many replies to this but I thank everyone for this advice and I will take your suggestions of talking to her but not forcing that she has to do it. It really is kinda hard to go from talking all the time to talking very little. Well, I thank everone for this advice and I shall come back and tell what happened.
                    Start of LDR: December 2009
                    First met: August 2008
                    First meeting irl: Never
                    Break up: February 8 2012

                    Price of relationship: Pain
                    Price of the memories: Priceless
                    I'll always know that she was my first love that I took seriously.
                    I'll miss you, Vanessa.

                    I may young and stupid but I can't help it at all.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      well an hour is better then nothing right? i mean on the week days since i have phone cards i get to only talk to Denise for a half hour, on weekends for a few hours if she gets free weekends, when she had the internet it was pretty much all day i do miss that as well but anytime i get to talk to her no matter for how long its always special and i feel good afterwords just be grateful and enjoy that you get to talk to her for an hour

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                        #12
                        "Only an hour a day?"
                        I wouldn't say only, since I know a lot of people talk less than that with their SO.
                        Including me. If we get to talk "a lot", it's 20 minutes a day, But now I've started university, we're not able to talk those 20 minutes, because of the time difference. (He either sleeps or works, when I'm not at university) So in the moment, we speak one hour a week.

                        I of course understand that for you, an hour a day might seem like nothing, if you're used to more.
                        All I can say is to make the best of it. And yes, maybe arrange a time there's best for both of you to talk, so some days you might be able to talk more.

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