Her family know...

[kittyxuchiha11]

Basically i hadn't talked to my SO for over a week and i knew she had stuff going on at home so of course i was worried but i just let her get on with it. she came on today and told me the reason to why she's not been on is because her family who she lives with have found out about us and are really really mad at her. Basically they opened the letter i sent her and read it while she was out with friends and they then went crazy at her when she got home. They're still really angry at her and definitely wont let us see each other for the next couple of years which is of course a really scary thought. We sort knew they'd find out eventually but hoped it would be in a few more years.
I don't even know why i'm writing this i guess i just want a little comfort really. we're planing to close in distance in about 3 and a half years and judging by how angry they are we probably wont be able to see each other until then. they're just so ashamed that she's gay and it's completely broken her heart knowing she's disappointed them. i'm really angry at them and i actually feel sort of guilty that because i'm not a boy they're ashamed of her.
So yeah, there's not really a problem to solve with this post, i just really need some encouraging words to cheer me up a little i guess.

[lilspitfire]

Don't NOT feel ashamed that you're a girl and not a boy because of her closed minded parents. How old is she? Is there a way she can move out on her own? If she is 18 or older, she is an adult in the United States. I would look around for LGBT resources in PA. Maybe a shelter if need be. Does she work? Maybe can live with a friend or a more open minded family member? Do any of her friends know?

[differentcountries]

Them reading her letter is a serious invasion of privacy. They had no right to do that. And of course, if she is an adult they can't decide who she sees. Can she move out and support herself until you can close the distance?

[Noodle]

Guh such a shame that people could be so closed minded. Can't they see their daughter is happy? That's all that matters.

Keeping you in my thoughts and hope the situation gets better. Three years is a long time but hopefully it'll go fast~

[Redheart14]

I'm so sorry to read this. Opening someone else's mail is a serious invasion of privacy. I guess she's still contacting you, so that's good.

[Aud121]

i know how you feel........
my bf doesn't want to tell his parents about me and him, he said he will tell them when i come visit.
I'm planing to visit him in June, I told him it would be better if he would tell then before I came (cause they could be mad) but he told me not to worry he knows what he's doing??? So yeah :/
I told my parents about him, I was really scared that they would be mad, but surprisely they were ok with it, my dad is even taking me to visit him (lol yeah they won't let me go alone).......
A few days ago he got in to a fight with his parents, then I got mad at him cause he had to lye to his parents and I just didn't know if all of this was worth it he said he needs a few days by his self to get his head together. I wish I knew what was going on, did his parents find out about us, or was it what I said and he needs time to think about it?????

[TwoThree]

I'm sorry Kitty it's very sad that in this day and age people still think they can open their kid's mail and even worse, have a say in their sexual orientation. As others said, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's on them, not you and your SO. You have to be there for her because she will need you. I'm sure things won't be so bad in a while. Her family will have to come around and accept her decisions.

[Hollandia]

In PA, my birth state, at age of 18 she can do whatever she wants. I don't know how old she is but if I was here, I would get a job making as much as I could and start putting out feelers for an apartment share to move out. Her parents or family can't stop her from seeing you once she is an adult and out living on her own. She will need to stand up to them for that then take it from there. How old is she and when does she turn 18?

[rhabdoviridae]

Hopefully her parents just need some time to understand and accept. Hang in there

[kittyxuchiha11]

Thanks guys, i'm feeling a little bit better about it already. i don't think it's exactly set in yet that i wont see her for a while so yeah i'm probably gonna be really upset when it properly sinks in.
to answer your questions, she's 15 just now and we're planning to close the distance by her coming over here to study in university. so it's a few years until she turns 18 so sadly they have complete control over her until then.
i still cant believe how badly they're reacting to this. they were so lovely to me when i was over there visiting her, but then again they only thought we were best friends and had no reason to dislike me. They've basically said they're not gonna tell anyone else in the family because they want to keep it a secret and pretend she's 'normal' like everyone else. She has a cousin who is gay and her whole family basically disowned this cousin and forced her to move out as soon as she was 18.
I really hope they let us see each other again but from the way they're acting i'm not sure they will. if they were angry at the fact she hid our relationship from them then it might be okay. but it's the fact they're so angry and ashamed that she's gay. they literally said to her face that they wish she'd never met me and that if she didn't she would still be normal.
They have basically said she needs to add them on facebook so they can monitor what she's doing so of course she has to change her profile picture and any thing that says we're in a relationship. they've told her to delete me and to never talk to me again but we're gonna try work around that one and just hope she doesn't get caught. i have another account set up with no link to my personal account if things do get really bad. they might go on her facebook themselves and delete me so yeah we have this other account to make it look like i'm just another online friend of hers.
It'll be okay eventually but for the next little while things are gonna be really tough

[differentcountries]

I didn't know she was that young. There is not much you can do but keep it s secret until she can decide for herself.

[talim]

I wonder if they disapprove because your relationship is LGBT or because she didn't tell them about it and basically was hiding important stuff from them. Any way, what they did is serious invading of her privacy and they are overreacting terribly. I am sorry you have to go through that, hold on

[snow]

I feel really bad for you two :/ It's awful that they are so close minded and you both have to suffer through this. I really hope they come around

[Hollandia]

She is a fifteen year old child. She met someone online and did not tell them. This changes things a lot. Until she is grown up, she needs to do as her parents say. I hope she can open up some honest lines of communication with them and rebuild their trust, but hiding things from them will never bode well. As a parent of a child it is not so much about evasion of privacy as you might think. You are a minor in PA at 15 and not a fully developed adult mentally. Making life long decisions at 15 is not one to be taken lightly. I do hope once she works things out with her parents they will lighten up and let you too have contact. I had a similar situation with my mom having a hard time accepting my brother years ago due to her religious beliefs and while it took some time, she now lives with him and his BF.

[snow]

I wouldn't blame her parents for being upset at her keeping this a secret. It's a thing teenagers do and it takes away trust, yes, but her parents are much harder on her that she is seeing a girl than that she was hiding it. They said they are ashamed of her. This is awful and while she is 15, this is not how you should treat your daughter. This is being close minded.