Helpful Advice?

[TwoThree]

Ok, since you want us to focus on your relationship... I don't know if I understood your last post correctly, but... is this the first time you met him? And you're already using the word "fiancé"?

If that's the case, I think you might be going a little too fast.

[lilspitfire]

They aren't giving advice. They are being cruel and berating. That's not advice. And since I was called out on what I said, it furthers prove my point that it is about who is right and who is wrong. All I see from everyone is what THEY would do and that's go back. Not saying "Oh, well I think you should talk to him (her partner)." The child is not relevant to the forum. She didn't seek advice on raising her child, but handling her relationship, but no one seems to be able to get off the kid topic which totally negates the purpose of this entire forum. It says loving from a distance not anything about parenting.

[rubydissolution]

This is a public forum, if you don't want people to judge you or comment on the lil details then LEAVE THEM OUT! This whole nonesense about her kid wouldn't be an issue if she had simply omitted it from her original post.

But! Since she left those details in people at going to put in their two sense. Quite frankly I get the feeling people like moon and the others who have commented on the kid didn't give advice to the actual questions because they feel the kid is more important then her relationship issues. They are entitled to that opinion.

[Britt6]

TY Spitfire this went way out of hand and tbh I doubt ill be asking for advice here again lol.. rather just stick to reading, maybe getting ideas

[Moon]

They aren't giving advice. They are being cruel and berating. That's not advice. And since I was called out on what I said, it furthers prove my point that it is about who is right and who is wrong. All I see from everyone is what THEY would do and that's go back. Not saying "Oh, well I think you should talk to him (her partner)." The child is not relevant to the forum. She didn't seek advice on raising her child, but handling her relationship, but no one seems to be able to get off the kid topic which totally negates the purpose of this entire forum. It says loving from a distance not anything about parenting.

Don't care, since she's the one who brought him into her post in the first place. Do you really think saying the good ol' useless default of "Oh, well I think you should talk to him (her partner)." is advice? That's kind of funny. If you put it in a post, people have the full right to discuss it, regardless if you like it or not. I 100% stand by what I said, you thinking I'm "wrong" has no bearing on that whatsoever.

[Moon]

This is a public forum, if you don't want people to judge you or comment on the lil details then LEAVE THEM OUT! This whole nonesense about her kid wouldn't be an issue if she had simply omitted it from her original post.

But! Since she left those details in people at going to put in their two sense. Quite frankly I get the feeling people like moon and the others who have commented on the kid didn't give advice to the actual questions because they feel the kid is more important then her relationship issues. They are entitled to that opinion.

Thank you, Ruby, for getting it.

[Britt6]

Thank you, Ruby, for getting it.

It was brought up only because i know my missing him is an issue that makes me moody here..it wasnt an invite to be attacked. so neither of u get it. the point was i was stating some things i know cause my mood to be off

[lyonsgirl]

Ok, since you want us to focus on your relationship... I don't know if I understood your last post correctly, but... is this the first time you met him? And you're already using the word "fiancé"?

If that's the case, I think you might be going a little too fast.

I'm curious about this. Is this your first time meeting this guy in person? How did you initially meet each other?

[silvermoonfairy3]

They aren't giving advice.

I'm pretty sure "move home to be with your son" constitutes advice.

Honestly, I personally find posts about how the posts aren't helpful is much more annoying than potentially-unhelpful posts in the first place. If a post isn't helpful to someone, they're free to disregard it and move on.

IMO the forum hasn't gotten less helpful, but it seems to be getting more posts with anger at people not liking the advice they get, and then people defending the anger.

[rubydissolution]

I was simply making it clear that if you put that sort of information out there, people are going to respond to it in kind. I haven't responded to your original post, I have no opinions I'm willing to share on your post. I'm not as forthcoming about my personal opinions on other peoples life choices as some members on this forum, but I'm glad there are people like that who won't hold back. Some people need that, and it often comes across as mean. That is rarely the intent.

[differentcountries]

It was brought up only because i know my missing him is an issue that makes me moody here..it wasnt an invite to be attacked. so neither of u get it. the point was i was stating some things i know cause my mood to be off

The problem with bringing in sorts of details is that people tend to think they matter. Remember that people don't know your story.

It seems now like you were venting more than asking for advice, you might have been clearer on that.

[Britt6]

The problem with bringing in sorts of details is that people tend to think they matter. Remember that people don't know your story.

It seems now like you were venting more than asking for advice, you might have been clearer on that.

I realized that after posting, even still theres a fine line between a person's thoughts and flat out attacking.. which is what happened

[lyonsgirl]

Ok, since you want us to focus on your relationship... I don't know if I understood your last post correctly, but... is this the first time you met him? And you're already using the word "fiancé"?

If that's the case, I think you might be going a little too fast.

I'm curious about this. Is this your first time meeting this guy in person? How did you initially meet each other?

I'm still interested in the answers to these questions.

[differentcountries]

I realized that after posting, even still theres a fine line between a person's thoughts and flat out attacking.. which is what happened

There are nicer ways to ask you questions, absolutely.

[ronjaandbirk]

even still theres a fine line between a person's thoughts and flat out attacking.. which is what happened

I thought that exact thing...Sure people will have their opinions but maybe giving at least the benefit of doubt and ask about further circumstances would be in order :/

anyway, back to topic: so if you say this is mostly about you not having anything useful to do, can't you pick up a hobby? is there anything you always wanted to learn, I dunno, knitting, painting, origami, cooking, baking, being a fitness guru, astrology.. (I'm just brainstorming :P) I mean in times of internet there is lots of options to learn things that dont't have to cost anything through youtube tutorials and forum and the likes, so maybe you can get into something you always wanted to do but never had the time for?

I got to say tho that I too find it a bit worrying that if you are quite early on in the relationship and meet for the first time you already have this kinds of issue. They really might be small and maybe I'm completely wrong and it's just the culture shcok/lifestlye change whatever for both of you, but this sounds a little like routine settling in way too fast, and this is bad. Too much routine puts a strain on every relationship imo, and should be kept a way at all costs. It is normal to happen eventually but so early... :/
I wish you all the best and that it all works out well for you.