The distance is sorta gonna end in a few months

[Caitlin2009]

While i like this idea and love the way she thought it all out, i kinda dont like it at the same time. Apparently Denise did some research and found out that we can move to NC together and were gonna, however she still has to be here on a visitors visa for 3 months and then file for extension of her visit and after that she goes back to Scotland (i might go back with her and do the 6 month thing again) and then applies for a immigrant visa thing, because immigrant people dont recognize same sex marriage or couples for a fiance visa. The thing is with this the distance will be kinda over but she still has to go back and forth with it, and im sorta liking the idea but sorta not. She got a little upset again when i began over worrying and questioning her ideas with this(she's still stressed and didnt get all that much sleep last night) but once we talked it out a bit she was fine, but i still kinda like it and kinda dont. thoughts on this anybody?

[garnet]

I'm sorry that I don't have any suggestions here, but I just wanted to say how crappy I think it is that same sex couples aren't recognized for the fiance visa. Or at least something that would be the equivalent.
It's hard enough getting someone over here when you are allowed to do the visa. During one of her longer stays here, perhaps she can find an employer that will sponsor her? I had a friend very close to doing that, and at least for her, it didn't seem like it would be too bad.
Going back and forth isn't ideal I am sure, but at least you two would be together, which is of course the most important thing. :/

[Rane]

I just wanted to say how crappy I think it is that same sex couples aren't recognized for the fiance visa. Or at least something that would be the equivalent.

Without any helpful advice either, I just want to second this notion, and say that I do hope that the two of you can find the best way for you to be together.

[Caitlin2009]

yeah i know it will still be a good thing that we can at least see each other more often, its just not how i invisioned it but it will have to do for now. Least i have her for a few months out of the year and its defiantly a good thing, gonna get many frequent flier miles though lol

[Èternity]

The struggle between the head and the heart. It's tough when you had your heart set on having the distance closed forever to then have to extend it. It's a very practical way to do it, yet if she is back and forth it just makes it so draining on your emotions too as she will be back with her parents. It appeals to me because it's a very practical solution and still has an end date, just not as soon as you hoped.

[Caitlin2009]

The struggle between the head and the heart. It's tough when you had your heart set on having the distance closed forever to then have to extend it. It's a very practical way to do it, yet if she is back and forth it just makes it so draining on your emotions too as she will be back with her parents. It appeals to me because it's a very practical solution and still has an end date, just not as soon as you hoped.

she doesnt live with her parents she lives with her friend, who actually is gonna keep the apartment they have now so Denise can go back and forth which is awesome to me, yeaaahh i had hoped for sooner end date but things happen for a reason and we've made it this far in a LDR wont be too bad if were CDR/LDR mixed inbetween and i can handle it especially if i get to see her beautiful face for many months

[noodle]

Ok so Im not quite sure if I got it. So you cant get engaged/married in the states, therefore no fiancee visa, yes?
And whats with Scotland? Could you get married there and than move to the states?

[Caitlin2009]

well here in CT if your of the same sex you can get married, cant do that in Scotland just yet. But the government who does the visa process are the ones that dont recognize it yet, if we were to apply for it she would get turned down and we cant lie and say im a guy because then we would get into massive amounts of trouble

[noodle]

Hmm... ok... and what if she takes some other visa? like arent there 1 year visas for work or somethin? :S (damn im so bad at this lol)

[annamorgan]

It's a struggle, but I'm sure you and her will find a way to be together in the end!

[Caitlin2009]

Hmm... ok... and what if she takes some other visa? like arent there 1 year visas for work or somethin? :S (damn im so bad at this lol)

the only way to get a work visa is if she has an employer sponsoring her

It's a struggle, but I'm sure you and her will find a way to be together in the end!

yeah i know we will, just gonna be a little bit longer then i had hoped

[Karringtyn]

First of all..I am sorry I have no helpful advice....But I wanted you to know I am here reading and hoping the best for you both!!! The love you have is beautiful.

[loveonspeedial]

If the immigration reform were to go through anytime soon, its up in congress now..you'd be able to marry her and she'd get her green card and stuff

[Silviar]

I guess what I'm concerned about is how will you guys manage to support yourselves doing that? There's got to be a better way to live together permanently. Is there any chance you guys can move to Scotland, or perhaps elsewhere? For example, same sex couples can apply to live in Australia under the de facto visa... I just think the strain over that longterm is going to be REALLY hard on you guys, let alone having a steady job to pay for it.

[Silviar]

the only way to get a work visa is if she has an employer sponsoring her



yeah i know we will, just gonna be a little bit longer then i had hoped

Not true - there's the working holiday visa which lasts for a year.