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    LDR relationship problems

    My bf and i have been together since the first of July. We started out really strong -constant texts, phone calls, We each felt like the other was "the one" and started making plans to meet and work out long term arrangements. (We are 4000 miles apart). He would always make sure i had good morning /evening/nite texts, as well as several texts thru the day just to say i love you, I'm thinking of you, etc.

    Over the last month, those texts have stopped -he says he "is so busy " but he thinks of me all the time. The phone calls have dropped to every couple days, again because he is so busy. We use whatsapp a lot, and he will do voice messages often, and when he does, his phone is constantly beeping. I've mentioned it to him before about the beeping, kind of made a joke about it -don't all that beeping make you crazy kind of thing, and he said it was his family. So i let it go-but i had serious doubts that was all his family.

    This past weekend, i found out he joined badoo, created a profile and started talking to other women. When I asked about it-he said it was not a big deal and he was doing it to improve his dutch. He said he would delete it and not talk to them anymore.

    I feel like he is having second thoughts but don't want to tell me. I also think that he has other girlfriends on the side. I don't know what else would explain the drastic change in his behavior.

    I guess i am just at a loss as to what to do. This is my first ldr-and i don't have anyone to talk about this with, since my close friends disapprove of the relationship because of the distance, the cultural differences (I'm American, he's Arabic ).

    Thanks for listening, and and advice that anyone has to offer. I appreciate it.

    #2
    I'm sorry but he joined badoo? Whether you're in a long distance or short distance relationship, THAT'S A DATING APP THINGY. He's in a relationship with you but he put himself on a dating service to seek and talk to other women?! That is cheating. "Doing it to improve his dutch" my ass. Sorry, but are you not angry? (I'm angry for you LOL)
    The way I see it, it's so obvious this guy isn't faithful. You need to be direct and talk to him straight about whether he finds his relationship with you serious. You cannot tolerate that kind of bs.

    Comment


      #3
      It sounds very fishy. Hiding you are on a dating app sounds like you do something there worth hiding.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

      Comment


        #4
        I had a fit when i found out. How i found out-he sent me an invite thru Facebook! At first i didnt know what it was until i looked it up. He swears that he "didnt know" that was what it was. My response was "BS" .

        I am still upset, we talk about it, he swears he loves me more than anything, cant live without me, so forth and so on, then he does stuff like this.

        I dont know what to do. I love him-but i cant abide lies. Even though he swears there is nothing going on and he has done nothing wrong-i don't believe him.
        Last edited by ljsmkh; October 13, 2014, 02:06 PM.

        Comment


          #5
          Of course it is possable he was being very careless online. In that case, he needs to research a little bit more and show that he knows what he is doing.
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

          Comment


            #6
            He has little time for you lately because he is so busy but guess what!? He has time for other women on a dating app...hmmm You know what you need to do!
            Met Online : July 2013
            Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
            2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
            3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
            Proposal : December 2014
            Closed distance : February 2015
            Married : April 5, 2015


            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by TooFarAway View Post
              I'm sorry but he joined badoo? Whether you're in a long distance or short distance relationship, THAT'S A DATING APP THINGY. He's in a relationship with you but he put himself on a dating service to seek and talk to other women?! That is cheating. "Doing it to improve his dutch" my ass. Sorry, but are you not angry? (I'm angry for you LOL)
              The way I see it, it's so obvious this guy isn't faithful. You need to be direct and talk to him straight about whether he finds his relationship with you serious. You cannot tolerate that kind of bs.
              I agree,you need to dump his ass,if he really cared about you,then he would be faithful to you.

              Comment


                #8
                These were my thoughts as well. His reasoning when we were fighting about it was "if I'm going to have an affair, it will be thru my email or my phone where you would not know about it -i wouldn't do it thru Facebook where you can see it." Which makes sense in a way but done nothing to reassure me.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by ljsmkh View Post
                  These were my thoughts as well. His reasoning when we were fighting about it was "if I'm going to have an affair, it will be thru my email or my phone where you would not know about it -i wouldn't do it thru Facebook where you can see it." Which makes sense in a way but done nothing to reassure me.
                  Wow, this man really knows how to dig a deeper hole for himself...

                  Honesty, he could be just careless about everything. But why would you want to be with a man like that?
                  I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                  - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                  "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Petals View Post
                    He has little time for you lately because he is so busy but guess what!? He has time for other women on a dating app...hmmm You know what you need to do!
                    Yep agree

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I second everything people have been saying so far.
                      He's really just playing a game, and I feel like you should put your foot down and end it. He's going to continue what he's doing (and I do believe he's up to something), because so far, there hasn't really been any consequence. Sure, you've gotten angry, but you're still around. As long as he feels he can still convince you that he's not actually up to anything, he can continue to be gross without having to worry too much about how suspicious he may or may not be acting.
                      Although it's possible he still has feelings for you, there is also the chance that, by this point, he just likes the attention. You're comfortable; you're someone he can always rely on to care about him and make him feel special. Only thing is, he wants you to be like that on *his* terms as though you're on call or something, which isn't fair to you.

                      I feel like you really should just cut him loose. You're worth more than he's giving you, and he isn't worth your time at all.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Thank you all for your responses and advice.

                        As.much as it breaks my heart-i think its best that i end it. I will never understand why men (or women) play these types of games. Its so sad.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Sorry to hear that, but it sounds like it might be for the best.

                          If it was meant to be he will get back into your life again, but it sounds like you are better off out of it!

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