Here are the details, I will do my best to shorten it! I have been in a fantastic relationship with my boyfriend for 6 months now. He will be moving back home to Wisconsin for good. (we are currently in California). He will be leaving December and I will be done with my Bachelors Degree in December too. I am deciding to get my teaching credential. I am trying to decide between staying in California for the program (it will be 1 1/2 years long) or going to a Credential program in Wisconsin. Do I choose to Stay in the comfort of Cali my home and pursue long distance, or take a chance on the relationship and still follow my goals but in another state? We definitely want to continue the relationship but I'm not sure the best route. We are both 23.
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I'd take a risk and move. If it doesn't work out you can always go back home. You're still young, I'd go and see how it works with him. Will you get your own place with him? Or will he live with his family?
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Well it's hard for me to really say.. because part of my comfort zone is my SO.. but we've been together a good few years now so that makes sense.. so of course I would, if I could, choose to study where my SO is, though for me it's harder because of the extra fees. So I would say.. compare the two schools and two credentials. If you stay in your comfort zone in Cali, then you will be faced with the struggles of a long distance relationship (totally doable especially seeing as it's only temporary), but if you move then you are together, but I understand it would be scary.. so either way there are pros and cons. See if there are any other obvious pros and cons. Do what you want to do, don't move only because of your SO or you might end up resenting him. So if you are not ready to move in together or take that next step.. maybe it is best to stay in Cali for the year and a half.. totally not too long especially if you can have a few visits in between! It's just up to what is best for you and your relationship.. take some time to think over your options.
Good luck and stay strong.
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I would say that you need to ask yourself quite a difficult question of why is it that you don't feel that you wish to move initially?
And/or flip that round the question and say - why would you rather choose an LDR over close distance?
My friend moved in with his now wife after only weeks together due to circumstances, so there is no reason if the relationship is strong now why it could not work if you did move in together.
You obviously do need to sit down and do the 'boring' financial sums, as it might just not be affordable on one salary and as a student, so that could well be a factor that actual decides it.
Does your BF have a preference on what happens next?
Hope you pick the right choice for you both though, and you have a bit of time to think up the pro's and cons
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IMO, don't pick long distance if you have another option. It's hard! And going to school is hard too. So go to Wisconsin. It will be so much easier for you....although is COLD THERE! good luck!sigpic
I love him. Forever. And every day after that.Comment
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I agree with squeeker, let which school suits you best be the deciding factor.We part only to meet again ~ J.GayComment
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Thank you all for your advice. We had a talk last night and he broke it off. Says he is too weak and will only hurt me and can't go through long distance. I am very sad and disappointed but thank you for the advice.Comment
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Was he not even willing to allow you to come move to where he is going? Seems kind of a lame excuse to not even try either. Sorry he did that, I hope you're okay.Originally posted by Jtfields90 View PostComment
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Sorry to hear that, sometimes it is better and easier to have a clean break than prolong any heartbreak. although neither are nice conclusions!Originally posted by Jtfields90 View PostComment
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No he said he couldn't ask me to do that. Or he doesn't feel strongly enough yet to ask me. It's disappointing he cracked under the first curveball thrown at us but I guess it just shows his colors and that he isn't the one for me. I was able to stay strong and not cry the entire time and said everything I needed to matter of fact. It was sad that he didn't come into the conversation with an open mind or even give me the courtesy to hear my thoughts before making a decision.Comment
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I'm sorry things went that way. That's hard to hear.
I know you're hurting now, but I think you'll eventually know that you dodged a bullet in not getting stuck with a guy who crumbles at the first hint of pressure.Comment
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So sorry to hear. But at least you found on early on in the relationship what he's like under pressure, if that's any consolation.
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