Looking for answers

[Loveinnewyork]

Hi there this is my first LDR, i find it exciting and stressful all at the same time. My boyfriend and I have only been together for 2 months now we met on a dating site and clicked instently,we talked a bit over facebook then decided to exchange numbers. We have plenty in common like being full time single parents and both looking to settle down. Everything seemed so effortless the conversations would flow naturally and for hours on end, the sweet texts and messages telling me to have a great day and that i was on his mind and couldn't wait to talk to me and hear my voice. We talked of future plans like meeting up to see if the connection we have is just as strong in person and if so he wanted to get married and bring both families together. This was what i always dreamed of a man who doesn't base his feelings on sexual attraction. Lately like i would say over the past week things have changed, our communication has cut down and when we talk it's brief and meaningless, i know life changes situations at times but he doesn't seem all that interested anymore. I had asked him if i could find a way to come see him with my kids would he be ok with that, he advise there are things he needed to fix up in his home before having us over. We had gotten into a fight a few days ago about his ex causing issues and i was fed up he said he couldn't do this he was done, i said fine and said bye. Later that evening he messaged me apologizing and said he love me so much and doesn't want this to break us up. He seems to be very private about his life and i feel like secret he refuses to change his status on facebook from single to in a relationship and his reasoning is people will cause issues. I am at the point where i am questioning is this all worth it cause the distance is bad enough without the other stuff. Can anyone help

[snow]

Was it a sudden drop from talking every day for hours to short meaningless conversations or did it develop over time? Do you still talk everyday even if it is not like it used to be in the honeymoon phase?

Facebook is seriously one of the smallest problems. If he didn't give you a reason, I would maybe understand why you are conflicted, but he said it would cause issues. People are nosey and he doesn't want them to stick their nose into his business and you said it yourself, he is a private person. Think about it rationally, is this really a reason to think about breaking up? Apparently his ex is a big issue in his life with his child, so why give her even more reason to rant about and cause problems? You have also been together for 2 months and haven't met yet, give it time. My fiance changed his relationship status from single to in a relationship after 3 months and I didn't freak out over it.

[Nymeria]

Hang in there!
He told you that he want's to be together and not break up, right? I would believe him. Also cause he gives you reasons and because those reasons all sound very "normal". None of them seems made up or very strange.

About FB: DOn't make a fuss over something that's not worth fussing about - it's FB. (I don't think relationship Status is something you should put on there). And here as well, he gave you a reason.
I know People who have been in a relationship for years, and FB still sais "single". He's not going out on saturdays saying he's single, is he...so no worries, all good.

[p_b82]

I changed my FB status from single to in a relationship 2 months after we were 'officially' together, even though we had been committed to each other but not saying anything else for a couple of months longer than that

She has not changed hers - nor did she with her last boyfriend, or her partner before.... who cares anyway, it is FB; those that matter he will have told, and if he chooses not to right now then that is his choice, for his reasons. He has been honest and said it will make things complicated, and so right now he doesn't want that additional stress in his life. I'd do the same thing as he did tbh.

The only reason I updated my status, was so that I didn't start to get my friends setting me up - as it turns out it was a good call as they had all then told me they were planning on trying to do!

Also remember that in a relationship, it does take two to make it work, as much in an LDR as CD... have you stopped talking to him about 'deep' stuff, or do you only start conversation with "how did you sleep, how was your days etc?"

My GF and I have just gone through the same rut, and we realised we were both as guilty as each other, and had taken the 'fun' out of our communication so it felt like a chore not a pleasure at times....

[Miasmata]

I concur. Prioritize, and focus on what's really bugging you in the relationship. Facebook is irrelevant. Give things time, get to know your partner better, and see where things take you. Focus on developing the relationship, not on pointless things that only make you anxious.