Conflicted

[Alvaro]

Hello,

I am sorry if my English is not good it is not my first language

It is very hard for me to come to here with this but I am having very confusing thoughts about my relationship at the moment.

For the background - I have met my SO about a year ago at the same college as myself and ever since started dating and never looked backwards. Since September she has started studying in the Antofagasta for one year (it is far away from university Santiago.)

I always look so much forward to her visits or when I can visit to her and I cannot think of any girl I could have a possibly better relationship with.

My problem which I'm sure you'll say if very selfish ( and I know this it's true) is my fear of the shortness of our lives and that I feel like my only one time to be young and able to have crazy experiences is now. I know that I am happiest with her but I also think that I would love to try a lot of different things whilst I have the ability. From my full honesty I love her so much but I have not imagined our lives being together for a lots of years in the future. I even think my worrying would be the same if she was not far away from me.

I know this is very cruel of me to say but I must admit my feelings. I sometimes think that if she broke up with me tomorrow I would see the good of that more than the bad of that.

What do you think about this.
Thank you
Alvaro

[Petals]

Hello,

I am sorry if my English is not good it is not my first language

It is very hard for me to come to here with this but I am having very confusing thoughts about my relationship at the moment.

For the background - I have met my SO about a year ago at the same college as myself and ever since started dating and never looked backwards. Since September she has started studying in the Antofagasta for one year (it is far away from university Santiago.)

I always look so much forward to her visits or when I can visit to her and I cannot think of any girl I could have a possibly better relationship with.

My problem which I'm sure you'll say if very selfish ( and I know this it's true) is my fear of the shortness of our lives and that I feel like my only one time to be young and able to have crazy experiences is now. I know that I am happiest with her but I also think that I would love to try a lot of different things whilst I have the ability. From my full honesty I love her so much but I have not imagined our lives being together for a lots of years in the future. I even think my worrying would be the same if she was not far away from me.

I know this is very cruel of me to say but I must admit my feelings. I sometimes think that if she broke up with me tomorrow I would see the good of that more than the bad of that.

What do you think about this.
Thank you
Alvaro

I think that if you are feeling the urge to explore and your relationship is restricting that, then you should end it. Talk to your girlfriend and explain that you care about her, but you feel like being single is the best thing for you at the moment. She will be hurt, but she will get over it and eventually start enjoying being single as well or move on to someone who want to settle down. If you bury this urge to break away you will eventually resent her so it's best that you are honest with her.

There's nothing wrong with being a little selfish. You have to look out for your best interest and be honest with yourself and those you care about. You are young; it is ok if you don't feel like being tied to one person right now. She has a right to know that you are not on the same page anymore. Sit her down and tell her the truth.

Maybe a few years from now you will get back together or maybe you will both move on with someone with whom you are better suited when the time is right.

[differentcountries]

It sounds like you want to be single. Don't string her along, it is better to just tell her.

[Miasmata]

I concur with the previous two posts - You can care about someone and still not want a relationship with them at this time. Be honest with her and tell her that you appreciate her, but that a committed relationship is not what works for you right now. It's better to end it before you grow bitter for missing out on what you want.