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Totally devastated

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    #1

    Totally devastated

    For a couple of weeks now my GF has been pulling away emotionally and starting fights on no pretext. When I try to ask what's going on the only responses I get are either "Nothing." or "I don't want to talk about it."

    O.k., maybe she just needs some space. Increasingly though I've been feeling that I'm the only one in the relationship. I'm definitely the only one making compromises and trying to work on things.

    Last night we made plans to talk this morning. Then she started a real doozy of a fight and then hung up on me. I tried to call her back but she wouldn't answer.

    No call from her this morning and again she wouldn't answer when I called. A couple hours later I get a text that was supposed to go to one of her friends but that she accidentally (?) sent to me. It was very mean about me, to say the least.

    I try to call again, she doesn't answer. Try to text, nothing. Finally I get an even worse text, saying that we're done and blaming me for everything.

    To say that I'm heartbroken isn't nearly strong enough. I'm completely and totally devastated. We knew each other so well that she knew exactly what to say to inflict the most hurt and pain on me.

    I can't take it any more. I feel like I've been emotionally obliterated. I've blocked her from calling or texting me; any emails will (hopefully) get blocked by the spam filter.

    Sorry for the long vent but I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. I want to just crawl into a hole and close it behind me.
    Tags: None
    #2
    I am sure you are not the only one trying to make things work. But if she doesn't want to talk about what she perceives as the problem, it is naturally not going to work. I am sorry, but maybe this is not going to work out. Going out for blood means that even if you two should end up together, it could possably be a relationship thrife with conflict. Maybe I am getting old, but I find that being able to hold peace (while still discussing the main issues) is my 1. requrement in a partner. Take care of yourself and know that things might seem clearer with some distance in time. Perhaps it can be even useful in what not to look for in your next relationship.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      It's definitely uncalled for for her to be so mean to you, someone who she once cared about. I feel that some people project negativity on their SO's because they are the ones who want to hide their dirty deeds or want to leave the relationship but they don't have the courage to say it to your face. She should have "manned up" and told YOU the truth, not just her friends. If she can't at least give you honesty and respect then you are better off without this stress. Maybe some day she will be mature and talk to you and you two can have a cordial conversation to establish closure. Don't feel bad about being upset and needing to vent. This sounds like a difficult situation to deal with and it's definitely best to get all of your feelings out so that you can start to move forward and work towards finding happiness again. I know it may seem like you have no one but theres a wholeeee website full of kind-hearted people who are more than happy to listen if you need an ear (or eyes).
      "The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To,
      Is when I'm Alone With You."

      Met: Sometime in 2016
      Started Relationship: August 9, 2017
      First Visit: December 7, 2017
      Closed the distance: February 9, 2018

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        #4
        Thanks to both of you!

        One email from her got through yesterday. Foolishly, I opened it and yeah, she was still trying to get her pound of flesh (apologies for the Shakespearean reference!).

        This is gonna take a long time to recover from - it's worse than when I got divorced. I barely slept last night and I still haven't been able to hold down a meal.

        Honestly, I can't say I'll even ever give myself another chance at romance again. I'm 50 years old now and I don't know that I could survive something like this ever happening again.

        I'm sure I'll feel better eventually but right now I don't think I could feel any lower. I feel like a fish that's been gutted.

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by Salvaged View Post
          Thanks to both of you!

          One email from her got through yesterday. Foolishly, I opened it and yeah, she was still trying to get her pound of flesh (apologies for the Shakespearean reference!).

          This is gonna take a long time to recover from - it's worse than when I got divorced. I barely slept last night and I still haven't been able to hold down a meal.

          Honestly, I can't say I'll even ever give myself another chance at romance again. I'm 50 years old now and I don't know that I could survive something like this ever happening again.

          I'm sure I'll feel better eventually but right now I don't think I could feel any lower. I feel like a fish that's been gutted.
          I'm sorry that happened to you. Don't give up on love. I am also 50 (it's the new 35, you know), and love at 50 is wonderful compared to 40 and 30! There is the perfect woman out there wondering where the heck YOU are!
          sigpic

          I love him. Forever. And every day after that.

          Comment

            #6
            Break ups are terribly hard, no matter what the circumstance.. And this is just my opinion, but she did you a favor!! If she was being so unstable now??.. You could've been starting a life with someone you could never make happy cuz shes not happy with herself... My advice, good for any age, is to find someone that loves themselves, and has a space open in their heart big enough to accept all your love.. And it WILL happen!! Blessings..

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              #7
              I am so sorry you are going through this. I understand.

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                #8
                Wow what she did was very childish. I am very sorry this happened to you.

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                  #9
                  I'm really sorry you had to go through such a nasty ending Whatever her issues are, they are no longer your problem. Blocking her is the perfect first step; healing is always harder. You're allowed to feel sad, angry, hurt, etc. But do your best to surround yourself with positive things, keep your mind and body occupied, keep your friends and family close. Hang in there!
                  In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
                  In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
                  -- Maya Angelou

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