Quality of texting

[Gingerlyme]

Not going to add my own story or advice here but I love this thread and all the advices that are on here.
Thank you guys~ definitely helps in understanding "the boy" a whole lot better.
Especially when texting brings around soo much misunderstanding (raises hand on being a culprit of this one toooo many time)

[Unicorn26]

I think something else we girls need it understand is that guys do sometimes get distant and there really is no reason for this. It's just a man thing. It's kind of like a rubber band. They will stretch away so far then, providing you stay where you are, they will spring back. I've learnt this through experience over the years! Don't chase, just think, he will come back eventually.

Obviously if it goes on for a little while then you need to raise the issue. I know it is nerve wracking but try not to overthink too much. Generally it's just normal male behaviour.

[Petals]

It definitely seems more like a guy thing, than a girl thing, after being on this site. Guys in general don't really talk much about their day, or about their feelings. If you get one that does, you're super lucky.

I had to mention to my SO that talking is our only form of communication, whether through FB, text, or phone call, because we're not, and can't be, physically together all the time like we want to be. I had to explain to him that it's not like I'm one of his friends that live in the area, who he can just text or call up and be like, "Come over." We have to actually plan our visits and when I can come down. After I said that to him, he's been making a bit more of an effort. Maybe try that?

Sometimes they don't understand that being in an LDR is a lot different than being CD, and that the effort they put into it needs to be slightly more.

Guess I'm super lucky! My guy talks a lot! I don't need to ask about his day because he will tell me lol. Sometimes he's sending long messages at the end of his day when I've just woken up and my eyes are barely open - all I can manage are one word responses lol. He's the type that will ramble on about stuff then 1hr later (exaggerating) he goes:

"oh sorry babe, how was your day?" or "enough about me, what's going on with you?"

To be fair he has A LOT going on at work and part of how he decompresses is talking to me. When an employee has got on his last nerve he calls me. lol Any crisis that occurs and they do - he calls me to help calm him down. He's high strung by nature.

[whatruckus]

Guess I'm super lucky! My guy talks a lot! I don't need to ask about his day because he will tell me lol. Sometimes he's sending long messages at the end of his day when I've just woken up and my eyes are barely open - all I can manage are one word responses lol. He's the type that will ramble on about stuff then 1hr later (exaggerating) he goes:

"oh sorry babe, how was your day?" or "enough about me, what's going on with you?"

To be fair he has A LOT going on at work and part of how he decompresses is talking to me. When an employee has got on his last nerve he calls me. lol Any crisis that occurs and they do - he calls me to help calm him down. He's high strung by nature.

He does this occasionally, but he mostly just talks to me when I'm physically there. Lol. But, thankfully, like I said, he's been getting better. He calls me after work now, sometimes, or he'll start messaging me when he gets home. You're lucky!!!

[FloridaLovesChicago]

My BF and I text all through out the day but there's usually lengths of time that messages aren't sent. I do not personally carry my phone around with me constantly, nor do I expect him to. If my phones goes off while I'm in another room, it may not cross my mind to check it until an hour or more later. Take into consideration that he has other things in his life to deal with and he can't give you constant attention. Just today my BF didn't respond to my text for three hours because he was playing a video game and when he did respond back it was "haha, so sorry babe. Zoned into the game." It didn't bother me...today is the only day he has off every week. If he wants to play games and not constantly text me - so be it. I am not the center of the universe and neither are you I know it can be hard because you long for his attention but just remember that most guys aren't big talkers in the first place and he may absolutely despise texting...I know a lot of guys who do! =)

[rhabdoviridae]

This is why I didn't want our primary form of communication to be text based. I know some people make it work, but typing out answers to questions like how was your day, what did you do today etc is annoying and exhausting for me. I'd rather email or talk real-time. Maybe he feels the same, but then he needs to agree on another form of communication. I know you've had a lot of communication issues with this guy in the past and I'd start to feel more than just frustrated at his lack of reciprocity or compromise towards your communication needs.

[Polly]

After reading everyone's responses, I do feel better. When my SO and I were dating in the same city, he was at a different job that gave him more free time to email and text.

However, I do feel that our habits are getting 'tired' and repetitive and maybe that's why he doesn't text as much or responds with very short responses. Maybe it's a combination of things getting old and his busyness.

I do feel sad that I enjoy my conversations with other people like my friends or coworkers more than the conversations with my boyfriend.

I feel his work has really strained our relationship on top of the added difficulty of being LD. His standard reason for everything is 'work' whenever I make a point I don't hear from him as much as I would like. I try to be understanding, but yes, it makes things difficult.

I once asked him to send me an email at the end of the day when he is home if he doesn't have time to text during the day at work, and his response was "I have no energy to put thought into an email by the end of the night'.

I started writing him romantic letters that I mailed, and although he appreciated it he didn't see the point since " an email was faster". But our emails are very short since he has said he doesn't like long emails or is too busy for them.

He's not good at communicating in a consistent way, and so when we're together in person, he's great, but LD not so much.

Like other comments here, I just don't think he realizes how much more communication is required in LD relationship. Or thinks that we do enough. We always have a long Skype session once a week, but for 6 of those days in a week, we have sporadic messages, usually just a few. It's better than nothing, but yeah, he's not a talker.