Future wife?! What is he thinking?

[Miasmata]

You are still waiting for validation from people who don't know you or your relationship, yet ask what your SO is thinking or what you should do.

The only one who can have those answers is yourself. I think you should really work on your confidence and selfreflection. It really doesn't hurt to examine yourself and your goals in life, and see if the things you have and don't have are good this way. Your relationship is between you and your partner, and while you can ask others for opinions and advice, it really shouldn't go into the fundamentals of your whole existence. The only one who can lay those down is you, and you should definitely reflect on that.

[whatruckus]

The forum rule clearly states that we are not attack other memebers. That being said it is very rude to say that. I asked his permission to post our conversations online, he said.he doesnt mind so that was uncalled for

Whether he gave you permission to post your conversations or not, you don't post about his mother's illness and how it affects her. What does that have to do with us giving you advice?

Plus, it also seems as though no matter what type of advice we give you, you defend him and defend your actions and do the opposite anyways. We've all told you the same exact things, over and over and over, in all of your posts, but you still disregard them and post new threads, basically asking the same thing. Always seeking some sort of validation about yourself, or about him, or about your relationship. Like others have already said, that type of validation comes from yourself and how you feel about the relationship. If you seriously need to question yourself, him, and your relationship this many times, I'm going to be blunt here: It's not going to work. If you're this insecure now, after only 2 months, it's not going to last. He will get fed up with your questions, your insecurities of him and your relationship, as well as your insecurities within yourself. Judging by the conversations you post, it already looks like he's at the point. Plus, why would he be okay with posting your conversations even after you relaying to him the things we've said about him? That's just weird to me.

My take, and what it's always been: He just doesn't really care.

If I talked to my boyfriend the way you talk to yours, he would've broken up with me within the first couple of months for being too clingy and not believing in him/the relationship. He also would've found me annoying and childish, and this is coming from someone who's the same age as me, 26. Imagine what goes through your SO's mind, being that he's 40.

My boyfriend knows that I go on here, but he doesn't know what I post about. He knows that I post to other's threads.

[JC2122]

I'm not trying to get validation, I'm just talking about things, and discussing things with people who have been there already. I'm pretty happy with my bf, there are a few things I would change but who wouldn't with any relationship.

[JC2122]

He actually told me a few weeks ago that I would make a good wife and that I would be a good mom, how is that for a compliment? It means he believes in me!

[rubydissolution]

Just the fact that after 3 months he hasn't trusted me with his phone number really speaks volumes. I'm tired of not feeling important or wanted and making all the efforts. I'm going to seriously consider ending things with him as i do not think he wants me, despite what he has said. I've been played ike a fiddle in 80% of my relationships, and instead of feeling intense joy, i feel dread and gloom. Im not sure how to approach him about this because I have wanted to end this before but he dosen't want to, or i come back. Its hard making the right decision, but i'm going to take some time and see what i come up with.

I'm not trying to get validation, I'm just talking about things, and discussing things with people who have been there already. I'm pretty happy with my bf, there are a few things I would change but who wouldn't with any relationship.

How can you claim you are happy? You go from happy and in love yo I'm considering breaking up with him in less than 24 hours. If you were happy you wouldn't be posting a new thread about your insecurities every other day. You need to take a step back from everything and really think about if this relationship is right for you. BC it sounds like it isn't. You need a more attentive man who is just as clingy as you are.

[R&R]

Just the fact that after 3 months he hasn't trusted me with his phone number really speaks volumes. I'm tired of not feeling important or wanted and making all the efforts. I'm going to seriously consider ending things with him as i do not think he wants me, despite what he has said. .

This does not show happiness in a relationship. Though sometimes things between my SO can be trying, never has it crossed my mind to end things. I still have a hard time that after 3 months you don't have a phone number. I had my SO's almost immediately.

You've said you've come here for advice and to ask questions. We have all given you advice and answered the questions. I know that they weren't the answers you wanted but we are going to be truthful with you and go with the information you have given. If you decide to stay with him, that is your choice. However, I wouldn't suggest coming here and asking advice or questions on what he's thinking if you are going to completely disregard what everyone says. We are here to support but support doesn't mean nod and agree - it means being honest no matter what.

[lucybelle]

I'm so happy we have another train wreck to keep me entertained!! The forum was getting dull...

[JC2122]

I'm so happy we have another train wreck to keep me entertained!! The forum was getting dull...

I'm sorry you are not very nice

[whatruckus]

He actually told me a few weeks ago that I would make a good wife and that I would be a good mom, how is that for a compliment? It means he believes in me!

You're really fooling yourself if that's what you think about what he said. It doesn't mean he thinks you'd make a good wife for him, or a good mother to his kids some day. It's a general statement. A real compliment is something like: "You are the greatest thing that's ever happened to me and I will never take you for granted. I'd be dumb to give you up." <~~~ A real statement and compliment my boyfriend has written to me and has said to me to my face, and on the phone.

Another example, straight from my boyfriend and what he wrote to me in an email:

"In the past few weeks, it feels like I have fallen in love with you all over again, I feel so comfortable when you are around. All of my problems seem to go away when we are laying in bed cuddling and watching tv. You truly are one of a kind and I couldn't be happier right now, well unless the other parts of my life were where i want them lol. But having you in my life is a huge jump in the right direction. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you putting up with all of my bullshit and all of the baggage that came along with dating me. It takes a strong person to go through what I have been through, but it takes someone even stronger to be able to put up with people like me, and do it with a smile on your face. I truly am glad that we met almost 2 years ago, my life has changed for the better ever since that day, and I hope there are many more great years ahead of us."

That is someone showing me how much he believes in me, and believes in us. Legit copied and pasted from the email he sent me.

[JC2122]

I suppose so. Idk i guess i have some things to think about. I tell him maybe we are not suited for each other, he says he doesn't believe that is true. And he said out of his own mouth that he want me. Multiple times

[R&R]

I suppose so. Idk i guess i have some things to think about. I tell him maybe we are not suited for each other, he says he doesn't believe that is true. And he said out of his own mouth that he want me. Multiple times

Words are just that - words, unless there is action to back them up. His actions, or lack thereof, show his words don't amount to much.

[whatruckus]

I suppose so. Idk i guess i have some things to think about. I tell him maybe we are not suited for each other, he says he doesn't believe that is true. And he said out of his own mouth that he want me. Multiple times

My ex told me he wanted me and wanted to marry me. Notice the "ex" part. He cheated on me multiple times and married the last girl he cheated on me with. Like R&R said, words are just words unless he can back them up and show you that he cares.

[TwoThree]

The forum rule clearly states that we are not attack other memebers. That being said it is very rude to say that. I asked his permission to post our conversations online, he said.he doesnt mind so that was uncalled for

I do hope that the forum staff has a different*meaning for attacks from yours because calling someone out on their disrespecting their partner's privacy shouldn't count as one, and it's no less rude than what many people have in saying in all these pages. But by all means, feel free to report me!

[JC2122]

I do hope that the forum staff has a different*meaning for attacks from yours because calling someone out on their disrespecting their partner's privacy shouldn't count as one, and it's no less rude than what many people have in saying in all these pages. But by all means, feel free to report me!

Oh good grief

[Nymeria]

I don't think there is any use in taking this further.
the conversation here is the same as the ones with your SO. You ask, get answers, they don't seem to be what you want to hear, so you defend yourself and him, that makes us posters confused and annoyed (in the sense of "why do you ask if you don't want the answer, or know it better anyway").

I said it in my second post and am saying it again.
Make sure you learn how to be confident, believe in yourself, learn about what you wish for in friends/SOs, try to be less clingy and less needy and then try relationships. If that sounds harsh, I'm sorry, but it's the impression I get when reading all this.
I wish you good luck in everything you do.