Don't really know where to start!!!
Those who are regular on here will know my situation. I've been in LDR since 2012 but we have never met. We are both 41 years old. Due to commitments here (young family, 2 jobs, going through divorce) I'm unable to fly over to see him. He was supposed to come and see me last year but fell very ill and almost died. He's now well on the road to recovery but keeps putting off coming over without really giving me any proper explanation and it's been really bothering me. Well the other day he stood me up for a FaceTime date (again) and I lost it....
I told him I was fed up, I felt like an afterthought to him, I was upset he hadn't sent things to me that he'd promised to (things being a t shirt that he'd worn and a letter, nothing he'd have to buy) and I was upset that despite me asking him many many times we are still no further forward on discussing when he's coming over. He text me back saying he knows he's been shit lately and we do need to talk but he wants to do it face to face (FaceTime) and he wants to it tomorrow. He also said I would probably have to push it out if him as he's likely it chicken out of telling me.
So I went to bed, slept badly, spent the whole day feeling nauseous thinking I'm gonna get dumped here. Then we facetimed. He couldn't look at me and was babbling and pacing around the house like a caged animal. Eventually I told him to sit down because he's making me dizzy! He said I was quiet today, I told him I'm waiting for him to talk. So then it came out....
His anxiety is back and it's back with a vengeance. He's a mess. He's been hiding it from me because I'm recovering from major surgery and he didn't want to add to my problems. He said he is totally broke, all his earnings go very quickly, he has very few shifts at the bar and his pay it pitiful. He's starting to get anxiety attacks when he's out, he had one about a month ago in Wallmart and had to run out. He's done no Christmas shopping at all, he's tried, but everytime he drives to the mall he has an anxiety attack. I asked him if he knew what has started this off, he said it had been creeping up on him over time and he'd tried to control it but it's got the better of him. He says he's exhausted all the time and he gets the shakes which mimic an anxiety attack and then it just gets worse. I told him he needs to have some blood tests done to find out why he's so tired all the time as that can be an underlying issue, he says he can't as he has no health insurance, therefore I am assuming, no meds for his anxiety...
I feel so helpless here. I just wanna fly over, get him and bring him back here and look after him!!!
Please can someone in USA advise me about health insurance? What happens if you're on a low income and you get sick? Is that it? You get sick and die because you're not well off??? I want to help him, I just don't know how. I have money, I could maybe pay for his health insurance? Anyone have an idea how much it is for basic health insurance?
I'm not gonna give up on him, but it's so painful seeing the one you love in such distress! I want to help him but I don't know how, he doesn't know how either... I've told him no matter what his issues are, I still feel the same way, I still love him, I still think he's a wonderful person and I'm really really proud of him. I also told him I am here for him 24/7, even if that means me waking in the middle of the night, if he needs me I am here. We have been through so much together, in positive this is just a set back but it's so hard.
Please don't think he is just a waste of space, he really isn't. He was very successful in the financial market but he had burnout after 20 years on the trading floor. I want to help him so bad, I just don't know how...
Thanks in advance for any insight on this matter.
Those who are regular on here will know my situation. I've been in LDR since 2012 but we have never met. We are both 41 years old. Due to commitments here (young family, 2 jobs, going through divorce) I'm unable to fly over to see him. He was supposed to come and see me last year but fell very ill and almost died. He's now well on the road to recovery but keeps putting off coming over without really giving me any proper explanation and it's been really bothering me. Well the other day he stood me up for a FaceTime date (again) and I lost it....
I told him I was fed up, I felt like an afterthought to him, I was upset he hadn't sent things to me that he'd promised to (things being a t shirt that he'd worn and a letter, nothing he'd have to buy) and I was upset that despite me asking him many many times we are still no further forward on discussing when he's coming over. He text me back saying he knows he's been shit lately and we do need to talk but he wants to do it face to face (FaceTime) and he wants to it tomorrow. He also said I would probably have to push it out if him as he's likely it chicken out of telling me.
So I went to bed, slept badly, spent the whole day feeling nauseous thinking I'm gonna get dumped here. Then we facetimed. He couldn't look at me and was babbling and pacing around the house like a caged animal. Eventually I told him to sit down because he's making me dizzy! He said I was quiet today, I told him I'm waiting for him to talk. So then it came out....
His anxiety is back and it's back with a vengeance. He's a mess. He's been hiding it from me because I'm recovering from major surgery and he didn't want to add to my problems. He said he is totally broke, all his earnings go very quickly, he has very few shifts at the bar and his pay it pitiful. He's starting to get anxiety attacks when he's out, he had one about a month ago in Wallmart and had to run out. He's done no Christmas shopping at all, he's tried, but everytime he drives to the mall he has an anxiety attack. I asked him if he knew what has started this off, he said it had been creeping up on him over time and he'd tried to control it but it's got the better of him. He says he's exhausted all the time and he gets the shakes which mimic an anxiety attack and then it just gets worse. I told him he needs to have some blood tests done to find out why he's so tired all the time as that can be an underlying issue, he says he can't as he has no health insurance, therefore I am assuming, no meds for his anxiety...
I feel so helpless here. I just wanna fly over, get him and bring him back here and look after him!!!
Please can someone in USA advise me about health insurance? What happens if you're on a low income and you get sick? Is that it? You get sick and die because you're not well off??? I want to help him, I just don't know how. I have money, I could maybe pay for his health insurance? Anyone have an idea how much it is for basic health insurance?
I'm not gonna give up on him, but it's so painful seeing the one you love in such distress! I want to help him but I don't know how, he doesn't know how either... I've told him no matter what his issues are, I still feel the same way, I still love him, I still think he's a wonderful person and I'm really really proud of him. I also told him I am here for him 24/7, even if that means me waking in the middle of the night, if he needs me I am here. We have been through so much together, in positive this is just a set back but it's so hard.
Please don't think he is just a waste of space, he really isn't. He was very successful in the financial market but he had burnout after 20 years on the trading floor. I want to help him so bad, I just don't know how...
Thanks in advance for any insight on this matter.
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