Annoyed.

[hunnybunny8381]

As the title says, I'm annoyed.

He still hasn't found a job, so obviously he has time to talk to me etc right? His sister texts me and tells me that she hates that he's always texting me, and he's avoiding her and her boyfriend. He's tired of being there, he hates it there, he wants out of there (so far we got plans to close the distance soon, if she doesn't mess that up). Anyway, today him and I were texting. All of a sudden he gets quiet, barely texts back. She treats him like a son, and not a brother. I don't get that. He has to do what she says, etc. SICK OF IT.

[barb757]

she needs to leave him alone and carry on with her own life. he's grown so he needs to get her to back off

[hunnybunny8381]

I wish she could. I would love to tell her off, but I can't. LDRs aren't easy. She must think it's as easy as cooking a pie but it's not. I keep looking at my phone to see if I get a text but nothing yet. I want to text him but knowing her she'd text me to leave him alone for a bit so they can all hang out or whatever. I feel like crying. :/

[R&R]

He will continue to get treated this way by her as long as he allows it. I love my sister to death but if we were in the same situation, you can be guaranteed that if she tried to dictate my life that she and I would be sitting down and having a serious discussion about boundries. You can get as annoyed as you want but unless he stands up to her or does what he needs to do to get out of the house, you are going to continue to have to deal with it as long as you stay in the relationship.

[p_b82]

Agree with the above comment, you need to get him to put his foot down, yes if he is sat at the dinner table always on his phone, or will stare at it as soon as it beeps then it is rude, but you can work round it quite easily...

if he doesn't do it at some point, he probably never will, and you will always have her in his life bossing you both around....

I had to make my Ex put her foot down with her mum, and it was funny, as soon as things started to go bad between us, she started to revert to the same behaviour again, which made it all the worse.... there is rarely enough room in a relationship for an additional family member!

[hunnybunny8381]

It's not easy for him to talk or get mad at her. She had heart issues. I have a REALLY bad feeling she's trying to get him to stay so our plans to close the distance won't happen. I'm just gonna have to figure out something, I don't know. I know I love him, and according to his mom (I text her too), he loves me.

[R&R]

If she is strong enough to boss her entire household around and treat people like she does, I wouldn't worry about her heart issue. She shows "strength" in what she does and him sitting down and discussing with her the situation and setting boundries isn't going to exacerbate her heart problem.

[hunnybunny8381]

Few weeks ago, her and I fought a lot, like it was a bad argument over text. She told me I better stop or if I don't, she's gonna drop dead because of her heart. Weirdest thing is, she's the one that started the fight, and I was the one telling her to stop and to leave me alone. She wouldn't and she made the fight worse and worse by the minute. She always says if something happens to her it will be my fault. He wanted to sell his tablet to get the money for like tomorrow, but she won't drive him to a pawn shop. He only gets money on the 5th and that's when he wants to get a train ticket. I want to close this distance SO bad before she drives me more nuts than she already is.

[differentcountries]

It's not easy for him to talk or get mad at her. She had heart issues.

Having health problems does not entitle her to make his life decitions for him. He doesn't have to get mad, just move out.

I have tons of health issues and never once used it as an argument in conversation. If I strain myself, that is nobody's fault but my own.

[barb757]

she has serious control issues. i'm sure she's fine

[R&R]

Few weeks ago, her and I fought a lot, like it was a bad argument over text. She told me I better stop or if I don't, she's gonna drop dead because of her heart. Weirdest thing is, she's the one that started the fight, and I was the one telling her to stop and to leave me alone. She wouldn't and she made the fight worse and worse by the minute. She always says if something happens to her it will be my fault. He wanted to sell his tablet to get the money for like tomorrow, but she won't drive him to a pawn shop. He only gets money on the 5th and that's when he wants to get a train ticket. I want to close this distance SO bad before she drives me more nuts than she already is.

My ex had high blood pressure and when we'd argue (when he wasn't getting his way about something) he'd threaten me "If this keeps up I'll have a stroke and might die and it will be your fault". To which I'd tell him that if we had just sat down and had a discussion instead of him going all ballistic, this wouldn't happen and if he had a stroke it would be his fault. I don't do the blame game when someone can't control their own emotions.

Is there a reason he couldn't stay with his mother for awhile instead of his sister?

[Honour]

Having a health issue is no excuse for acting like a total dick. He needs to take a stand against her, or she'll always have a grip on his life in such a manner. She strikes me as a complete control freak, to be quite honest.

[hunnybunny8381]

This was a local relationship, I met him when he was already moved here (he's not originally from here), and had a hard time finding work so he had to move in with his sister to Nova Scotia. His parents live elsewhere in Nova Scotia. Pretty much all relatives are separated all over. She said she'd take him in so he'd have a roof over his head.

It's been three hours since our last text. I'm tempted to text him, even though I told him he can text me later because she hates when we text a lot.

[Honour]

This was a local relationship, I met him when he was already moved here (he's not originally from here), and had a hard time finding work so he had to move in with his sister to Nova Scotia. His parents live elsewhere in Nova Scotia. Pretty much all relatives are separated all over. She said she'd take him in so he'd have a roof over his head.

It's been three hours since our last text. I'm tempted to text him, even though I told him he can text me later because she hates when we text a lot.

I know this sounds daft, but is there any possibility that he might be able to ask his parents, or any other relative, for help?

And no offence, but who cares what she thinks? You guys are a couple, and in love, and by the looks of things have been together a long while. DO NOT allow this woman to destroy that. Text him all you want

[R&R]

You need to find something to keep yourself occupied. I know you want to talk to him and she's being very controlling but sitting in obsessing over it isn't helping you any either. Just sitting and waiting is making it worse for you.