Confused and afraid, not sure where we stand?

[Maxy54321]

I apologize for the long post in advance. So as of late, communication with my SO has been lacking. A little back story, we met a couple of years ago online. My family was completely against the idea of meeting anyone online (still aren't) and basically went out of their way to sabotage any communication we had as well as any communication I had with anyone online, to the point where for about a good year and some change we didn't speak. I found ways of contacting her outside of my home, and we've been speaking since July. Technically no titles have been given, we're in an odd state of being "single" but knowing exactly who we want.
Communication has been lacking as of late. We would speak well for an hour or so for about 1-2 days a week, then things would dwindle down to nothing at all for the next 3-5 days, or at the most a good morning here and there. I questioned why this was, since in the earlier months we'd been speaking pretty frequently, close to everyday. She wasn't really able to explain, when I would ask her what was wrong I basically got "nothing" or "I'll be fine" or "I don't know" and things along that line. I kept putting up with it, since I figured one to two days of good communication was better than nothing at all.
Now a couple of days ago, I was feeling particularly restless. You could say the loneliness finally got to me. It was about 1am my time, which is basically 12am her time. I didn't want to text or call her so late, I figured she was asleep. So instead I took to trying to find her pictures. Usually when I look at them, I calm down a bit, and I also can get some poetic inspiration from them. I didn't know what her Instagram name was, and the pictures I had of her were spontaneously erased from my old phone which had bricked. So I proceeded to correctly guess her Instagram name (I only had one guess, I thought it would be the same as her Twitter and Tumblr name, and I was right). I felt happy when I saw the first picture of her..and then I scrolled down to look at others.
On my way down, I saw a comment on the first picture from some guy calling her his baby. I got worried and came down to two ultimatums, either something was going on, or that was some older family member. I clicked on his page, and saw he posted a picture of her, again calling her his baby, saying he loved her and marking the date 12-27-14.
I basically broke down after that. I questioned her about it the next day just on those aspects, I didn't explain that I also saw comments on a picture she later posted of him, her calling him her "boo." The gist of the response that I got was that she'd been in a bad state of mind for the past week or so (I replied that our conversation issues had been going on for at least a month now), and that due to that state of mind she simply agreed with him calling her his baby and all, just to move along the conversation.
On top of that, he had been there to talk to her about anything she needed help with, or when she didn't want to talk to anyone else about things. I felt upset at that point, because I felt like that was my job, and that there must be a connection they have or had that should be with me, but isn't. Yet after rethinking the situation and realizing what was going on, she rejected him after he said the words "I care for you and love you" (he also asked her out) and after he asked how she felt about him, said that she "couldn't do this with him" (date him) and that she wasn't in the right state of mind to date anyone or settle down in any way until she gets herself together.
After questioning her more about this I learned that there were family issues as well as issues with friends. She seemed really stressed out and continued to say it was complicated and that she did want a relationship in the future, but right now she just doesn't know what else to say. I don't know what else to say at this point, I'm thinking of just giving her space to think and going without communication for a while. I feel odd, confused, afraid..I don't know what to think or feel. I don't want to lose her, but if she's realized that this is where she is, if it's all true, then I don't want to bother her. Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. Again, sorry for the long post.

[R&R]

I think you are right to give her space. It sounds like she is overwhelmed and needs some time to sort things out. I would let her know that you are there for her should she need you while she is trying to get through all that is going on with her. Also tell her you are respecting her decision to end an exclusive relationship right now. As long as she knows you can be there when she needs you without pressure, I think that will mean a lot to her.

[Unicorn26]

I agree totally with what R&R said. She needs space. Sometimes us girls really do need that to work exactly who's important and, to see who sticks around.

Be there for her as a friend, don't pressure her or tell her you love her, but don't abandon her either. I went through something similar to this last year. My SO got very very sick and almost died. If scared me to death and I was very confused. Also it put a downer in the chances of him ever coming here to live because of his health. I knew the only way he would be able to come here was if I married him and there was no way I'd even consider that. He picked up on my hesitation, just like you have, and asked me about it. I explained that I was very confused and needed space. He said he'd back off, not say I love you anymore and he was true to his word. He was always there for me though and it wasn't until a few months later I realised that he was in fact completely perfect for me. I realised I loved him so much and I would marry again if that's what it took.

I'm not saying this will happen with your girl, but once I had that headspace I was able to work out what was really important to me and what was right. She needs that right now. Be the best friend she's ever had tho, swallow your fears and be there for her. If it's meant to be, I promise you it will be.

Good luck.

[Unconditional]

Be there for her as a friend, don't pressure her or tell her you love her, but don't abandon her either. I went through something similar to this last year. My SO got very very sick and almost died. If scared me to death and I was very confused. Also it put a downer in the chances of him ever coming here to live because of his health. I knew the only way he would be able to come here was if I married him and there was no way I'd even consider that. He picked up on my hesitation, just like you have, and asked me about it. I explained that I was very confused and needed space.
Later I realised that he was in fact completely perfect for me. I realised I loved him so much and I would marry again if that's what it took.

THIS. Do this. Last year I got very sick and was confused about my feelings for my SO and I even said some things that hurt his feelings I guess, but he never left my life, out of everyone he was the only positive light at that darkest of moments. I realize now that I loved him before that, but I will forever love him because of that. Just be a good friends, a shoulder to cry on, a person to rant to, if she ends up not wanting you in herr life, there's not much you can do, but the make the most of being in it. ^-^