SO Starts Graveyard Shift Tonight :/

[TheSteelAngel]

So I think I've hit the double whammy when it comes to tough relationships lol. Not only are we long distance, which is tough on it's own, but my SO is also a cop, which is also tough to deal with on it's own because of his frequent schedule changes. Tonight he starts drop back which means he has to work 8pm-4am. Since he's on drop back now he's gonna be sleeping during the day and working all night, and he's going to be on this schedule for a year or maybe even longer than that if he likes it. So yeah I'm not going to be hearing from him for a long time now, but he promised that he'd try his very best to keep in contact with me and that he'd text me every morning right when he's about to go to sleep. I guess I'm ok with this, I mean he's doing what he loves so who am I to tell him otherwise. All I could do is trust him and hope that he keeps his word and keep myself busy. Has anyone else had to deal with this before or is currently dealing with this?

[Unicorn26]

Yep. A lot of us deal with this every day, it's called The Timezone

It must be worrying for you, I hate it that my SO is a bartender and is out late at night surrounded by drunk people, I can only imagine how worried you must be with him being a policeman. Tell him about your fears, ask him to please make sure he texts you at the end of his shift. I'm sure he would do that if he cares about you. He wouldn't want you to worry unnecessarily.

As with the contact and his shift times, loads of us on here deal with this as we are hours ahead or behind. When my SO works a day shift we just rarely chat because he starts work early (he's not a morning person) and by the time he finishes it's gone midnight here. If I don't have to work the next day I will go to bed and set my alarm for 2am so I can have a quick chat with him and go back to sleep. If I have to work the next day, I just have to suck it up and rely on him sending me a good morning text for when I wake.

I sacrifice sleep sometimes for my SO and vice versa. It's the only way I get to talk to him sometimes but he's totally worth it. Keep busy, see your friends, take your mind off it and send him a good morning text for when he wakes up. It won't be as bad as you think, how many days a week is he working? You can catch up on his days off.

You're in good company here tho, lots of us deal with these problems and do just fine. And remember to try and look on the bright side, at least you're close enough to drive to each other, some of us have over 10,000 miles between us and a $5000 air fare if we want to get together.

You will always have support from like minded people here though, and I do appreciate that even though your distance is small compared to others on here, to you it's too long and I totally get that.

[TheSteelAngel]

Yep. A lot of us deal with this every day, it's called The Timezone

It must be worrying for you, I hate it that my SO is a bartender and is out late at night surrounded by drunk people, I can only imagine how worried you must be with him being a policeman. Tell him about your fears, ask him to please make sure he texts you at the end of his shift. I'm sure he would do that if he cares about you. He wouldn't want you to worry unnecessarily.

As with the contact and his shift times, loads of us on here deal with this as we are hours ahead or behind. When my SO works a day shift we just rarely chat because he starts work early (he's not a morning person) and by the time he finishes it's gone midnight here. If I don't have to work the next day I will go to bed and set my alarm for 2am so I can have a quick chat with him and go back to sleep. If I have to work the next day, I just have to suck it up and rely on him sending me a good morning text for when I wake.

I sacrifice sleep sometimes for my SO and vice versa. It's the only way I get to talk to him sometimes but he's totally worth it. Keep busy, see your friends, take your mind off it and send him a good morning text for when he wakes up. It won't be as bad as you think, how many days a week is he working? You can catch up on his days off.

You're in good company here tho, lots of us deal with these problems and do just fine. And remember to try and look on the bright side, at least you're close enough to drive to each other, some of us have over 10,000 miles between us and a $5000 air fare if we want to get together.

You will always have support from like minded people here though, and I do appreciate that even though your distance is small compared to others on here, to you it's too long and I totally get that.

Haha it's true that my distance isn't as large as most of yours are, but it is a huge distance for me. We both have junky cars so we can't really drive to see each other. We have to rely on airlines just like you do.

And yes I do get very worried about him and his job and I tell him that every chance I get. He loves that I do that btw because he feels cared for and that he feels like he matters. I do tell him to text me whenever he's done so I make sure that he's alive and he does that (sometimes I get a little antsy though and I text him first lol). He's really the cutest thing ever and I love him so much. He doesn't really talk to me as much anymore but that's just how he is and he has a lot to deal with at work so I make sure to give him his space even when he doesn't ask for it

[differentcountries]

My SO is on winter shift which means he has almost opposite hours from me. And we have one hour time difference, so if his shift ends midnight that is my 1 AM. I can't stay up late and talk to him on evenings before work days, or I will not get enough sleep or oversleep and loose my job. I usually can't text him that much during my work hours either, especially not on busy days. So yes, I am basically waiting for him to go back to summer shift, because thenon most we will have at least a couple of hours a day when none of us are working nor sleeping.

[Unicorn26]

That's cool that you give him space. Sometimes despite our best efforts we overthink and get really crazy with worry and it's rarely justified.

I have found in my LDR that these type issues usually mean that we come out he other side stronger and closer than before. We miss each other more and it just makes our relationship and determination for it to succeed even greater. You will be fine I'm sure!

If not, come here and vent! We all understand exactly what you're going through.

[Unconditional]

Ugh, the struggle, it's real! My SO if he gets this job he's looking at, he'll be working the graveyard shift as well. Can't say that I like it... but, I support him in going after it. ^-^
(Just showing this so you know you are NOT alone =) )

[Honour]

I know it's not really the same sorta thing, but my SO goes to school for the entire day during weekdays for me, and I'm also at university. We make up for lost time at the weekends, or whenever we get holidays. There's a 6 hour time difference between us. It's not impossible to keep a long distance relationship alive when you have busy lives so long as you are willing to MAKE time in order to be with the one you love.

[whatruckus]

My SO was in the Army and he's a Corrections Officer, so I know how you feel. My SO usually sleeps as soon as he gets home from work, and he's been working a lot of doubles lately to save up money. Also, he's not allowed to have his phone inside the prison, at all, so he keeps his phone in his car until he gets relieved. This means, if he's working a double, I won't know until it's well past the time he's supposed to be off. That's about 15 - 16 hours I don't hear from him, and then he'll only talk to me for less than an hour once he's done because he goes to bed. I worry about mine all the time as well. I worry about the inmates killing him in the jail, trying to make shanks and whatnot. Since he's been there, a couple CO's have been attacked, and one was almost shanked. Not to mention the lockdowns and fights he's broken up...and he's only been there for less than a year and his jail isn't even that serious (though it is going up a level, which is bad, because it means they're going to get more dangerous inmates). I worry when he gets off of work because a lot of these inmates still have people on the outside. He even worries about my safety because of this, and keeps our relationship status hidden on FB and no one can see anything anyone else posts on his wall, except for him.

It will work if you both put the effort in.

[snow_girl]

My SO works night shifts He works 6pm to 6am. he comes home and sleeps till about noon and then we text and talk when he isn't at the gym or getting stuff ready for work. It isn't as bad as you think it is going to be.

[whatruckus]

Also, try not to tell him all the time how worried you are about him. I'm sure he knows, and you don't want to annoy him and make him feel bad. Some guys get like that, they don't want to be reminded of it all the time.

[vicks5721]

My SO has just started the night shift at his new job and I am okay with it, it's different for everyone how they handle it. I personally miss him alot of course and that we used to skype at earlier times than we can now etc. But I keep busy until he can talk either before work or sometimes after, and we talk on his days off. I know how it feels changes to the routine, just try to stay focused on the positives and keep yourself busy while he is at work and not let it worry you, find some hobbies or spend time with family and friends.

[TheSteelAngel]

My SO was in the Army and he's a Corrections Officer, so I know how you feel. My SO usually sleeps as soon as he gets home from work, and he's been working a lot of doubles lately to save up money. Also, he's not allowed to have his phone inside the prison, at all, so he keeps his phone in his car until he gets relieved. This means, if he's working a double, I won't know until it's well past the time he's supposed to be off. That's about 15 - 16 hours I don't hear from him, and then he'll only talk to me for less than an hour once he's done because he goes to bed. I worry about mine all the time as well. I worry about the inmates killing him in the jail, trying to make shanks and whatnot. Since he's been there, a couple CO's have been attacked, and one was almost shanked. Not to mention the lockdowns and fights he's broken up...and he's only been there for less than a year and his jail isn't even that serious (though it is going up a level, which is bad, because it means they're going to get more dangerous inmates). I worry when he gets off of work because a lot of these inmates still have people on the outside. He even worries about my safety because of this, and keeps our relationship status hidden on FB and no one can see anything anyone else posts on his wall, except for him.

It will work if you both put the effort in.

Hmm maybe our SO's know each other lol. Same thing with me with the FB situation sort of. He doesn't have one and he's super private with whatever he does online. I guess I'm really lucky that he opened himself up with me the way he did. Thinking about this now makes me realize again that he trusts me 100% just as I trust him and that I'm really lucky to have someone like him in my life

[p_b82]

just wanted to say that many of us have to deal with long times not able to talk, and I am sure you both will be able to work out a schedule that suits each other, and have reduced communication.

I kinda like it in a way, as when we do get a chance to talk it makes it more special

[whatruckus]

Hmm maybe our SO's know each other lol. Same thing with me with the FB situation sort of. He doesn't have one and he's super private with whatever he does online. I guess I'm really lucky that he opened himself up with me the way he did. Thinking about this now makes me realize again that he trusts me 100% just as I trust him and that I'm really lucky to have someone like him in my life

Haha, maybe. If your SO lived in Kensington or the Northeast, there's a good chance mine might know him, or know of him. Mine is also very into the Philly darts scene.

[Phenomena]

J works day shift and I work 16 hours over 2nd/3rd shifts. It's a mess right now. Lol