The Distance

[cody92]

Hey everyone,

Let me start off saying that I'm sure what I'm about to say, everyone in a LDR has felt this way I'm sure, and it has been driving me nuts, so I thought I'd come here to let it out pretty much.

My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months now(today actually). It has been amazing, we have had our rocky moments, but have made it through them. We both have our insecurities, fears, doubts, worries. And we have very good communication, so we have spoken about them a lot with each other.

What is getting to us both, is the distance. We want to see each other. I mean we are more lucky then other people who are in LDR's. Because we get to see each other every month depending on the money. It might be longer this time around though.

But I guess what I want to know is, how do you keep the relationship alive? Or full of passion, when all you can think about is, "I wanna do this and this when I see my SO", or "I can't wait to do this when we see each other".

I think it's hard for each individual no matter what the time is between when you get to see each other, sometimes it's easier for others, because they get to see each other more than people who don't. But still it is hard no matter what when you want to spend your time with that person and you can't.

What keeps you from going insane(haha) and such with thoughts of wanting to see your SO but can't? We also do date nights, we watch movies together, play games, cam. And it is so fun when we do. But you know how you have that voice in the back of your head saying, "oh wouldn't it be even better if they were right there with you in person?"

And I don't mind thinking about it once in awhile, to get excited but it gets to the point where I think about it too much, because then it brings me down. It doesn't help that I don't have a job(still looking for one) And we moved here recently, so still new to the place. But I have been taking classes, so that helps. But at the end of the day, when you are laying in bed, and your mind just goes right to thinking about it, I think that's the hardest part.

This is long, hehe, but thank you for reading, and your input! Have a good weekend everybody.

[Zephii]

Letting it out helps

To deal with it? Well... I wore a watch, to remind me of the passage of time and that the distance was temporary. I also had a mantra that went with it. I used my religion as a crutch to get me through the bad times. *Thinks* now I don't even remember the rhyme
The distance isn't forever, and it can have it's good points. Focus on that, and when that doesn't work, we're all here for you.

[Karringtyn]

It is hard. And I know about the feeling you are going insane. For me it has always helped to just focus on a day at a time. When we will talk today...what is something special we could do today on the phone...and I send cards/emails/Facebook things... Knowing I have him though...makes me just soo happy and the days I have without him here physically are ok...because I know he is in my heart and eventually we WILL be together.

[Allie.CanCali]

It is very hard...I thought I would go insane too.
I just tried to keep my mind off it...I would play a lot of sports, hang out with my friends...
And I would always tell myself that there wouldn't be a distance one day...if I held on.
I've been with my SO for three years now. And I have absolutely no intention of letting go.
Just stay strong.

[paulawriteslove]

What I do to deal with the distance is: text throughout the day, keep my mind focused on other things, and I like doing cute things for him. Also we talk at specific times on the phone (when he gets off work, before bed, stuff like that) and that helps a lot!

[NaNi]

My SO and I are also going through a hard time right now. We miss each other. Terribly. We cry much more often lately. All we can do is talk over Skype and tell each other that it's going to be okay. Which I know that it will. It's just really hard. We want to spend time with each other. We want to see each other. A bit more often than just a few weeks a year. It's really dragging us down. We do email a lot, but it's just not the same when you just want to touch your partner again.

[LadyMarchHare]

how do you keep the relationship alive? Or full of passion, when all you can think about is, "I wanna do this and this when I see my SO", or "I can't wait to do this when we see each other".

We try our best to act like the distance isn't there. Which, is hard, because text affection isn't the same and the thought of doing certain things 'for realsies' certainly is nice but I think it's a matter of being thankful you can do the text affection at all or talk to them at all instead of relying only on visits, frequent or un, to have any sort of contact. Emotional distance bridges physical distance, at least for me. When I want/need him most in person he can be there, but it's in my mind.

What keeps you from going insane(haha) and such with thoughts of wanting to see your SO but can't?

Frankly I'm quite mad I have no idea what you're talking about. [/bad humor] I tend to daydream a lot so I like to act out scenes with us whether it's us going somewhere or talking, kissing, etc and it warms my heart. I suppose that should make me miss him more but there you have it.

I think the problem with you (and me) is free time since you mentioned no job. Keeping busy usually keeps the blues at bay.

[Silviar]

We keep the passion alive by doing things the other finds romantically or sexually engaging. We've had, erm, sexy webcam nights, write love letters and emails, spend lots of time e-snuggling, and we'll focus on the positive and NOT the negative. WE also make sure we have time and activities apart because it keeps our relationship fresh.