Neither of us willing to relocate

[pinkmadness]

Sorry to hear that, but these are the ugly cold facts of an LDR, especially an international one involving visas. Immigration is tough, there hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions that had to fight that same beast. It sucks and it is hard, you just have to decide if it is worth it to suffer to get to your light at the end of tunnel someday. For me, it was worth the agony and depression and insane costs and losing half my friends, and so much more ...still worth it, because he will be my husband in 2 weeks. You have to decide which idea is worse, life with each other as it is today with a future down the road together or life without each other.

Wow! Congratulations! I'm glad that it worked out for you. And I don't know what to do anymore, he seem to give up already, so maybe we're really not compatible.

[Hollandia]

Wow! Congratulations! I'm glad that it worked out for you. And I don't know what to do anymore, he seem to give up already, so maybe we're really not compatible.

Thanks.

You have to both really be on board and want it, and in it for the long haul.

[Zapookie]

You guys haven't met in person yet, so I would stress to your SO that he is worrying too far ahead of time. You should get together and plan a meeting and then figure out what you want to do from there.

[pinkmadness]

I know. That's what I've been telling him. We can't just move in each other's country without having to deal with all the necessary paperworks, but he doesn't seem to care much about that. It's hard to make him see reason when he's made up his mind. And yes, he's still in university, but when I asked him if he has definite plans for the future, all he said was "Do I look like a guy with a plan? You became my plan."
I'm not getting my hopes up that we'll be able to get past this problem, neither does he. But I really appreciate your advice.

[differentcountries]

I already showed him this thread, but instead of being enlightened, he got quite pissed off. I don't think he can handle a long distance relationship

Please, pretty please...dont show him this thread! I would never phrazed it like I did if I knew you might to that. Showing him the thread is the equvalent of bringing all your girl friends over, to yell at him. He will not be swayed by it, because he can rightly say other people are not part of the relationship. No, if we can be of any use, just keep whatever we have to say in the back of your mind, to inspire your own words. It has to come from YOU.

[Miasmata]

If he really relies on you to be "his plan" and he's rushing you this much about relocation when you haven't even met in person, he really needs to make a decision - Either he finally learns to slow down and give this relationship the time it needs and deserve, or he has to ask himself if this is really the right relationship. You said you aren't happy with things being this way, that is something you both have to take seriously. Sit down and really level with each other, and if there is no good agreement to be found, you might have to reconsider if you are right for each other.

[pinkmadness]

Thanks for all your advice, I really appreciate it. My SO and I have decided that we should just break things off...for quite some time. We still talk, but we're not together anymore. We both think its for the best. And if we're really meant to be with each other in the future, we will be. We're gonna focus on our future careers first, and we'll see from then.

[Miasmata]

Shame it had to come to that, but it's very mature and smart of you to focus on what's best, even if it means making tough choices. Take good care of yourself!

[differentcountries]

Good for you to stand up for your education.