I need help please.

[Hollandia]

Yes, she would probably have been safe and sound had she not gone out with the strangers. But it doesn't make saying "She was murdered, because she went out with them" ok. I'm not telling anyone to go out and get smash drunk with randos. I'm saying that getting smash drunk with randos isn't the reason women get raped or murdered. Everyone should do their best to stay save. But putting it the way you did is EXTREMELY harmful and victim blaming. It's not an attack on you personally and I would have said the same if anyone else had written that. That very way of thinking is making it difficult for women to report rape, because they keep blaming themselves.

You weren't date raped because you stayed drunk off your ass in a house with drunk frat guys. You were raped, because some asshole guy thought it was ok to rape you. I'm really genuinly sorry if you think otherwise and I hope you'll understand that it was none of your fault.
Again, yes, it probably wouldn't have happened if you had gone home or not gotten drunk. But that wasn't the reason that it happened. You have every right (given that you're of age) to get drunk of you ass and stay anywhere you want (if the host is ok with that obviously).

The problem is NOT women getting drunk or going places with strangers. The problem is strangers raping them.

I never said, and I'll never say, that taking precautions is wrong. I make sure my friends get home safely after we go out together, I try my best to not get myself into unnecessary dangerous situations, BUT I can do all that and still know that my or my girl friends' behaviour is NEVER the problem or reason for a rape.

It's not your acting that I have a problem with. In the end, we probably do/recomend the same things. It's the thinking behind it that I don't and wil never accept and that I will speak out against. Especially on a forum with lots of teenagers.

Yes and I have a problem with when you say dangerous things like that. It is an ugly truth but if you walk into a lion's den drunk off your ass, you are responsible for putting yourself there. It is not victim blaming it is protecting others from harm. You are much closer to my kid's age and so telling me about what to say to teenagers is ironic. If it saves one women from having it happen to them,it is most certainly okay to say. That is what you don't understand, helping others learn by your mistakes and not making blanket statements about how it was only because the attacker did what he did, will only cause more and more women to walk blindly into that lion's den, armed with your line of thinking how it will happen because of the other person and they share no responsibility in the matter at all.

I too will never accept or agree with this way of your thinking. I will also speak out each time I hear it. So, Peace out unless you wish to make another thread.

[Dziubka]

Yes and I have a problem with when you say dangerous things like that. It is an ugly truth but if you walk into a lion's den drunk off your ass, you are responsible for putting yourself there. It is not victim blaming it is protecting others from harm. You are much closer to my kid's age and so telling me about what to say to teenagers is ironic. If it saves one women from having it happen to them,it is most certainly okay to say. That is what you don't understand, helping others learn by your mistakes and not making blanket statements about how it was only because the attacker did what he did, will only cause more and more women to walk blindly into that lion's den, armed with your line of thinking how it will happen because of the other person and they share no responsibility in the matter at all.

I too will never accept or agree with this way of your thinking. I will also speak out each time I hear it. So, Peace out unless you wish to make another thread.

What exactly was dangerous in what I said?
Where did I advice people to stay drunk off their ass with strangers? How does saying "It's not your fault. It's theirs!" cause women to "walk blindly into that lion's den"?

Cause I don't understand.

[Hollandia]

What exactly was dangerous in what I said?
Where did I advice people to stay drunk off their ass with strangers? How does saying "It's not your fault. It's theirs!" cause women to "walk blindly into that lion's den"?

Cause I don't understand.

I think if you want to continue you should make a new thread or PM me. I don't like hijacking someone's thread.