I'm really confused.

[snow_girl]

How is this for a thought; he might be in love with you but still want to be single. There is even a romantic preferance that is like that. I had that going for me with a man for 4 or 5 years. How long are you in for?

What a dream come true. Being with someone that loves you but doesn't want to be with you....sweet.

[merlinkitty]

I've read through this thread a couple of times and (no disrespect to you OP) but healthy relationships should never be as intense as you describe. The "I'd die without you" comment scared me a little bit. I mean think about this realistically. If he truly meant that, he needs some psychological help! This level of codependency isn't healthy. If he didn't mean that, which I assume is more likely, he basically lied to you.

Differentcountries and Hollandia said some really good freaking points I want to bring back for you to see.

Also, don't neccesarily believe the "she is a which" story...his view of the story could be colored by the fact that he got hurt during their relationship and breakup. Remember; ordinary people hurt each other in love all the time, that doesn't mean they are out of this world evil.

I will say there is 2 sides to all divorces and the other is often labeled "the witch"... I'm the witch, according to [my ex's] family. Take with a grain of salt without proof. The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy.

Remember; she is the mother of your SOs child, so you will never get rid of her, and if you don't try to get where she is coming from you will not get along with her. Are you ready to be a step-mum when the dust settles?

I bet he was upset when he decided to break up with you! I bet you caught him looking at you with lust filled eyes! This does not mean he made the wrong decision. It's hard to leave someone you love, but he seems to know that right now he's not capable of being in a relationship.

I'm sure he is like every other human being on earth and has doubts from time to time so he breaks down, calls you up, and tells you how sorry he is for being a dick and you console him and tell him it's okay because you can't live without him either. But it doesn't change the fact that when hangs that phone up, the divorce is still going, and he's working through financial, living, and custody arrangements with his soon to be ex-wife and child.

My suggestion to you is to go ahead and let this one go. Staying around to bleed off each other is going to do more harm in the long-run and frankly he has more to lose than you do. He's got a child at stake right now and between the pair of you...well you've both got some growing up to do. I used to think bickering was part of a healthy relationship. It's not. Now that I'm in one, I realize how wrong I was. Adult discussion of issues is healthy. Slamming doors, name calling, and generally picking on each other negatively for a reaction is a sign of people who need to work on some personal issues before they can be in a healthy relationship with someone else. I really don't mean to sound rude to you, and I apologize if I've offended, but I think you've really been give a great opportunity to focus on yourself. I would take advantage if I were you.

Romeo and Juliet is not considered a romance; it's a tragedy. What you're describing is a relationship tragedy.

[differentcountries]

I guess it's possible, but I don't think that's it. I think he's overwhelmed emotionally with other things.

It doesn't matter if the reasons are emotional, practical or some other stuff. Either he has got the time and commitment for you, or not. How much crap are you willing to put yourself through?