Her parents made her miss the flight intentionally

[Unconditional]

Holy crap - you just gave me a heart attack for my future children LOL!

Seriously - it is scary. Their daughter - that in their eyes is still a child (and in many was is) - wants to run off with someone far away. What if something bad happens - how can they get to her? how can they help? It probably makes them feel really helpless. Up until this point - they've nutured and protected this child. It's hard. A little sympathy for that position really could be beneficial.

I have to agree with this. lol heart attacks all around, thanks Honour xD Sympathy for how her parents feel could help in the long run.

[crazycarrie06]

Look, the whole situation sucks all around. What her father did was not okay at all. I am just trying to say that a little bit of sympathy and understanding could help. If they don't/won't understand - be the bigger people. You're going to have to keep proving your trustworthiness - over, and over, and over again. And you will get angry about it. WHY do they STILL not trust me?? WHY don't they trust HER. But unfortunately - a parent's prerogative is to be untrusting of potential suitors for their children. You two will have to find a way to work through it - together. Without lashing out and getting bitter and starting screaming matchs with the family. That's only going to hurt your case because it will prove to them something (I don't know what).

Families are hard. But I really think most families at the end of the day want their children to be happy. If you treat her well and make her happy - in time, her family will come around Inshallah


Could be worse - I live in the Middle East at the moment. I promise you haven't seen overbearing families in the US!

[Unconditional]

Look, the whole situation sucks all around. What her father did was not okay at all. I am just trying to say that a little bit of sympathy and understanding could help. If they don't/won't understand - be the bigger people. You're going to have to keep proving your trustworthiness - over, and over, and over again. And you will get angry about it. WHY do they STILL not trust me?? WHY don't they trust HER. But unfortunately - a parent's prerogative is to be untrusting of potential suitors for their children. You two will have to find a way to work through it - together. Without lashing out and getting bitter and starting screaming matchs with the family. That's only going to hurt your case because it will prove to them something (I don't know what).

Families are hard. But I really think most families at the end of the day want their children to be happy. If you treat her well and make her happy - in time, her family will come around Inshallah


Could be worse - I live in the Middle East at the moment. I promise you haven't seen overbearing families in the US!

all good points. That's all I have to say

[D4Joseph]

Next month is going to make it a full year since I've been with my gf. Her parents have gotten to know me and say lots of good things about me . I'm no stranger that never met them. They know me as a person.
It makes no sense because my gf visited me in the summer no problem. Suddenly deeper into our relationship it's the end of the world. Parent or not that was messed up. It's killing me and my gf. Is having your daughter sad better?

[D4Joseph]

I think I'd feel at least a tad better if her dad showed he felt bad but damn he seems so proud of it all.

[Unconditional]

Regardless of if they know you or not. It is the parent's job to scrutinize potential suitors. Whether they like you or not they will always look out for their daughter and her future/well-being. I would not want my daughter sad, but I will tell her there is a reason I feel the way I do and those reasons would be justified. If she could not understand why I care so much, then she is certainly still a child. Heck, I don't have kids, don't even think I would like them, and I can still see that a parent will protect their child at all costs. How is it so hard to see their side?

[Honour]

Next month is going to make it a full year since I've been with my gf. Her parents have gotten to know me and say lots of good things about me . I'm no stranger that never met them. They know me as a person.
It makes no sense because my gf visited me in the summer no problem. Suddenly deeper into our relationship it's the end of the world. Parent or not that was messed up. It's killing me and my gf. Is having your daughter sad better?

Unless your SO's parents have ever been in a similar situation, they won't be able to comprehend how hard it is for two people in love to maintain an LDR. Lack of empathy and understanding; perhaps they are now also having second thoughts on your relationship with their daughter. Unless something else could have sparked such a response, I can't honestly understand their reaction either in this situation. It's weird, most definitely. Maybe something is bothering them? Can your SO sit down and have a chat with them?

[Moon]

Your first mistake was believing her parents would actually take her to the airport, knowing how against it they were, regardless of what they said. They were never going to take her.

I say this as a parent to a 26 year old, so I'm not inexperienced in these kind of things: 18 is nothing, it's a number. All it means is that legally her parents can't technically make her stay. Sorry to say though that part of being an "adult" is learning how to do things, like getting to the airport, without your parents assistance. Also as some others said, she's still living with them, and it sounds like she's still dependent on their support. In that case, they will have a huge influence in her life, and will still make the rules. If she doesn't like that, she is free to get her own place and live by her own rules, but it doesn't sound like she's anywhere near ready for that, so these troubles aren't going to end anytime soon, you'll have to deal with them for a while.

I think you need to realize it's going to be you doing the visiting in the foreseeable future. Her parents might be ridiculous in your eyes, but your girlfriend is not in a position to go against them at this time. Being 18 doesn't mean much if you're still dependent on your parents, it's not a magic age, and can be a very tough transition period. I would have been against it if my daughter did this too, depending on certain factors, like which country she was traveling to, and she was a very mature, responsible 18. Your situation sucks, I'm sorry about that, but it is what it is for now.

[Moon]

Unless your SO's parents have ever been in a similar situation, they won't be able to comprehend how hard it is for two people in love to maintain an LDR. Lack of empathy and understanding; perhaps they are now also having second thoughts on your relationship with their daughter. Unless something else could have sparked such a response, I can't honestly understand their reaction either in this situation. It's weird, most definitely. Maybe something is bothering them? Can your SO sit down and have a chat with them?

You don't get it because you aren't a parent. What you think you'd do in this situation, and what you'd do after being a parent are hugely different. Nothing is bothering them, and sitting down for a chat is probably not going to change it. Right now, they don't want her to go, talking isn't likely to change that. They are not ready to let her do it, and even if they're wrong, don't feel she's old enough or mature enough, or not good enough in decision making yet. It's not that weird, it's parenting

[D4Joseph]

The thing is we have put ourselves in their mind frame . We see the parental side. Why is it so hard for them to see our side? We're in a ldr just about any chance we get to visit we are going to want to take it. We don't have the convenience of being in the same state.
Yes 18 is a number. Yes it is a transition period. Hell I'm 19 and still transitioning for a lot of things. That's true but for God sake's she's visited before what's the worst that would happen if she did again? It was uncalled for. I bet if my gf got a friend to take her they'd shame her for that too. They fail to be open minded.

[R&R]

You don't get it because you aren't a parent. What you think you'd do in this situation, and what you'd do after being a parent are hugely different. Nothing is bothering them, and sitting down for a chat is probably not going to change it. Right now, they don't want her to go, talking isn't likely to change that. They are not ready to let her do it, and even if they're wrong, don't feel she's old enough or mature enough, or not good enough in decision making yet. It's not that weird, it's parenting

This is very true. Until you are a parent, there is no way for you to understand what goes through our heads. It's hard, even when they hit 19, 20 to let them do certain things even though they are adults in the eyes of the law.

When my oldest wanted to go to Canada to see her on-again, off-again bf, there were conditions. She paid for the flight herself. She took a bus to Boston to catch her flight out of Logan and I picked her up when she came home. She had to stay in touch with me a few times each day. I made her fly. She wanted to drive and there was no way I was letting her drive through Detroit by herself on her first every road trip. I also have complete trust in him and have no doubt that he would be able to protect her should the need arise while she is with him. There was a lot of talk between us before I let her go and her trip went off without a hitch. But I can tell you, if I wasn't in and LDR myself, I have a feeling it would have taken a lot longer to convince me.

[Honour]

You don't get it because you aren't a parent. What you think you'd do in this situation, and what you'd do after being a parent are hugely different. Nothing is bothering them, and sitting down for a chat is probably not going to change it. Right now, they don't want her to go, talking isn't likely to change that. They are not ready to let her do it, and even if they're wrong, don't feel she's old enough or mature enough, or not good enough in decision making yet. It's not that weird, it's parenting

Fair enough! I don't have that experience to be honest, whereas you do, and I agree with what you said. OP, I think you should take what Moon said seriously, because she does speak truthfully. I don't have the convenience of being in the same COUNTRY as my SO, so you have an advantage, however small it is. I would say be grateful of that fact

[Moon]

That may be, and it's good to vent about it, but regardless of your mindset, they aren't letting her do it. You have to accept that for now, you might be angry and confused, but that doesn't change your situation. You can't make them open minded, and until your girlfriend has gained some independence, you're kind of at their mercy, so don't say or do anything stupid where they're concerned. If you do, not only will she not be able to visit you, but you may find yourself no longer welcomed in their home, so be smart about this and just wait it out and visit her.

[D4Joseph]

Basically there is no legitimate reason to do something low like this other than the fact that it's her dad and he can abuse his power after anytime just because he's a parent. I have no legitimate case with all of this? That can't be possible.

[Honour]

Basically there is no legitimate reason to do something low like this other than the fact that it's her dad and he can abuse his power after anytime just because he's a parent. I have no legitimate case with all of this? That can't be possible.

He's not "abusing his power." He's acting as any caring father should...