Her parents made her miss the flight intentionally

[whatruckus]

I've just read the whole thread, and recalled the one about your 'upset' about abiding by her parents rules when you went to stay.

All I can say is: 'get over yourself'

Yes her parents screwed you both over by not taking her, but then you should not have gone behind their back in the way you both did it, it was obvious that was going to happen from any-one outside, they already told her not to visit you for that return trip.

As to how you go forward together, you need to work out whether you can accept her parents are in control of their daughter while she still lives under their roof, and they feed/clothe/educate her etc. If you can't then you are going to resent them, and you may well cause you and your GF to fall out, if you 'hate the in-laws' too much.

My advice is to chalk this one down to experience and a life lesson of 'you can't get your own way unless you do things yourselves' next time, plan the trip more carefully, trying to keep the parents on board. If you are able to open dialogue with them, and ask with her present why they didn't want to fly this time, and it is just down to weather conditions etc, then you can say "well when we plan the next trip, when the weather is better will you have objections, and if yes why, and how can we appease them for you" or words to that effect.

You have to live with her parents, they are not going to go away in this relationship, and if you force her to pick between you and them, she may well pick them if she doesn't like confrontation - or they could throw her out, and you will have to look after both of you; are you ready for that? - I know I wasn't able to support myself at 19... and only was earning enough to support two of us by the time I was in my mid 20's (I had to support my now ex when I first met her as she wasn't working, and throughout all our time together in fact)

My final comment is good luck, sounds like you are going to need it.

I didn't want to be the one to say it. That's why I mentioned the previous post about his stay with them. That bolded part, I read it as he gives her a present and I got confused. -_- Then I re-read it, and I was like, "oh." Hahaha.

[D4Joseph]

Okay so to make things better I should just keep quiet? I feel like there should be some type discussion/ apology but I don't want to seem like I'm rushing communication

[Moon]

Okay so to make things better I should just keep quiet? I feel like there should be some type discussion/ apology but I don't want to seem like I'm rushing communication

Yes.

Her parents don't owe you an apology, or anything else for that matter, you don't seem to be getting it. Shut up, move on, plan and communicate better next time. That's really all there is to it.

[R&R]

If the father feels he didn't do anything wrong, you are not going to get an apology. They don't have to discuss anything with you. I don't know how may different people and how many different ways it can be said to you.

You are 19 years old, not 9. You can grasp the concept that no matter what you do or say, it's not going to change what happened. Until she doesn't live there anymore and she no longer relies on them for things, you are pretty much under how they want things done. Plan better next time. If you can't rely on your SO's parents, then figure another way.

Be glad I'm not your mother. If either of my daughters were acting the way you are about it, they'd be told they need to grow up. If their SO's parents did this, yes I may not agree but I also wouldn't put up with the constant bellyaching and crying from them either. You say you're an adult and you wanted to be treated like one, then start acting like one. I have two very mature daughters. They are well aware that life isn't fair and people aren't always going to do what they say they will. They are both in LDR's. They have both been disappointed by visits not being able to happen for one reason or other. But they have also acted maturely about it. Welcome to the real world.

[D4Joseph]

See, some of you guys are now being disrespectful because I meant an apology on MY part. I wasn't saying he has to apologize. If you haven't noticed I'm actually soaking this all in and hoping to find a way to squash everything with tension or problems. I'm willing to do anything to eliminate tension.

[D4Joseph]

At this point it's not about changing what happened it's about having things be resentment free and peaceful

[R&R]

If you feel you owe them an apology, then apologize. From the way it came across, it looked like you were expecting one from her dad.

And if planning another trip in the future, make sure all 4 of you speak together to plan in to ensure that everything is out on the table and everyone is agreement.

[Honour]

This thread is still ongoing? o.o

Anyway... OP, no one is being disrespectful. It's advice being offered. Take it or leave it.

[whatruckus]

If you feel you owe them an apology, then apologize. From the way it came across, it looked like you were expecting one from her dad.

And if planning another trip in the future, make sure all 4 of you speak together to plan in to ensure that everything is out on the table and everyone is agreement.

Agreed. Also, don't go behind their backs again and respect the fact that no matter what, her parents will always have the last say in what she does, no matter how old she is, if she is still living with them and they are paying for everything for her.

[D4Joseph]

Okay hopefully that all works and things stay cooled down. To Honour maybe nobody was being exactly 'disrespectful' but I don't appreciate being told to shut up. If I'm replying to a thread I'm not gonna say that basically.

[Moon]

Okay hopefully that all works and things stay cooled down. To Honour maybe nobody was being exactly 'disrespectful' but I don't appreciate being told to shut up. If I'm replying to a thread I'm not gonna say that basically.

I wasn't telling you to shut up in the thread, I was telling you to keep your mouth shut with her parents, as it indeed did seem like you expected an apology from them. Seeing as I wasn't the only one who thought you meant that, you didn't word it very well.