Pressure to "Seal the Deal" (Not About Sex lol)
My boyfriend and I have been dating since November 2013 (a little over a year). His family lives the floor above mine and my family's, and ever since he started working in Albany (2008), he's been commuting here every weekend and coming back home on Sunday. We're very committed to each other and talk about everything openly, including our future together. 
I know that we've never had a typical relationship in the sense that we haven't spent a decent amount of time together enough to know each other's daily habits and annoyances and all that. So people might say "You guys have been together for so long, more than a year!", but a year spent only seeing each other once a week is very different from a year spent living together.
Another thing that's important here is my boyfriend's personality. He's laid-back (and I mean super laid-back). He's a very calm, introverted beta male, who needs a lot of time to himself, doesn't call or text very often, and just doesn't profess his love constantly. Also, he works as a computer programmer, which is pretty taxing, so he needs a lot of downtime for that as well.
My main problem now is the pressure. My mom, his grandma, my therapist, my coworkers, even my supervisor are constantly asking me about what we plan to do, and why isn't he actively looking for a job in Brooklyn, and how long I'm planning to wait for him. It's driving me crazy because I want to live in the moment and enjoy being with my boyfriend. Everyone is like "You're 28, what are you waiting for? You need to get married and have kids before it's too late!" As if when you reach a certain age, the Heavenly Gates close and you can never have children after that.
I know most of my peers are having kids now, but I don't even want to; it's too soon. I don't need 3 AM feedings, diapers, pediatrician's appointments, and play dates right now, when I'm still freaking living with my parents.
My boyfriend is very comfortable in his job because it's a state job and has good benefits. He wants to find something in Brooklyn, but it took him almost a year to find a better apartment in Albany, that's how inert he is. I'm not rushing him, but it's the pressure that's making me impatient. My boyfriend recently moved to his new apartment and says he wants me to visit him, just so we can see how we live together. I think that's a good baby step to take forward because I can't go from seeing him once a week to getting engaged. So what can I do in this situation?
I know that we've never had a typical relationship in the sense that we haven't spent a decent amount of time together enough to know each other's daily habits and annoyances and all that. So people might say "You guys have been together for so long, more than a year!", but a year spent only seeing each other once a week is very different from a year spent living together. Another thing that's important here is my boyfriend's personality. He's laid-back (and I mean super laid-back). He's a very calm, introverted beta male, who needs a lot of time to himself, doesn't call or text very often, and just doesn't profess his love constantly. Also, he works as a computer programmer, which is pretty taxing, so he needs a lot of downtime for that as well.
My main problem now is the pressure. My mom, his grandma, my therapist, my coworkers, even my supervisor are constantly asking me about what we plan to do, and why isn't he actively looking for a job in Brooklyn, and how long I'm planning to wait for him. It's driving me crazy because I want to live in the moment and enjoy being with my boyfriend. Everyone is like "You're 28, what are you waiting for? You need to get married and have kids before it's too late!" As if when you reach a certain age, the Heavenly Gates close and you can never have children after that.
I know most of my peers are having kids now, but I don't even want to; it's too soon. I don't need 3 AM feedings, diapers, pediatrician's appointments, and play dates right now, when I'm still freaking living with my parents. My boyfriend is very comfortable in his job because it's a state job and has good benefits. He wants to find something in Brooklyn, but it took him almost a year to find a better apartment in Albany, that's how inert he is. I'm not rushing him, but it's the pressure that's making me impatient. My boyfriend recently moved to his new apartment and says he wants me to visit him, just so we can see how we live together. I think that's a good baby step to take forward because I can't go from seeing him once a week to getting engaged. So what can I do in this situation?
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