Hey everyone! Just wanted to drop a thread here as I have a question.
Me and my SO have been together for 2 years, long distance for 85% of that time. I currently am still a student (going after my Masters!) and during the time I am at school (9 months total) we are roughly 5 hours apart. He works a 12 hour job each day, so seeing one another during our time apart is pretty much not an option. ANYWHO!
We are opposites on many many levels. It was just recently that I began to see how people react and cope with and to different things. Like really see those differences. If this makes me seem naive than so be it. I've just always been around people who have had the same mind set as my own. So when I started dating my SO I was thrown into this whole other way of seeing the world (which is one of the many reasons why I like our relationship dynamic).
I like to fix issues right away. I don't like the tension and don't like to let it linger. I want to talk it out and deal with it up front. My SO likes to cool down and have distance with things. And he may not ever bring it up or want to talk about it later when he has cooled down.
The issue is, how do I feel as though we have moved on from an issue even if we have not talked about it like I like to do? His mentality is whatever happened happened and is in the past, and there's no need to dwell on it and draw it out. Just let it go and move on. I've tried it my way with talking about issues with him relatively soon after something has occurred, but this last time he really blew up and didn't want to talk about it at all. It made me realize that everyone has their own way of dealing with things and I need to respect that.
At the same time, what if he never talks about it again? I don't want to bring it up again to him and make it seem like I'm not past it, and we're not past it as a couple. (He's complained about this a few times. How I bring certain things up multiple times)
We don't have a lot of arguments, so maybe that is why it's taken a while for me to figure out his way of dealing with things.
So how do I pick up the que that we have moved on as a couple from an issue when we don't talk about it?
Any advice or way to shed some light for me?
It would be much appreciated!
Me and my SO have been together for 2 years, long distance for 85% of that time. I currently am still a student (going after my Masters!) and during the time I am at school (9 months total) we are roughly 5 hours apart. He works a 12 hour job each day, so seeing one another during our time apart is pretty much not an option. ANYWHO!
We are opposites on many many levels. It was just recently that I began to see how people react and cope with and to different things. Like really see those differences. If this makes me seem naive than so be it. I've just always been around people who have had the same mind set as my own. So when I started dating my SO I was thrown into this whole other way of seeing the world (which is one of the many reasons why I like our relationship dynamic).
I like to fix issues right away. I don't like the tension and don't like to let it linger. I want to talk it out and deal with it up front. My SO likes to cool down and have distance with things. And he may not ever bring it up or want to talk about it later when he has cooled down.
The issue is, how do I feel as though we have moved on from an issue even if we have not talked about it like I like to do? His mentality is whatever happened happened and is in the past, and there's no need to dwell on it and draw it out. Just let it go and move on. I've tried it my way with talking about issues with him relatively soon after something has occurred, but this last time he really blew up and didn't want to talk about it at all. It made me realize that everyone has their own way of dealing with things and I need to respect that.
At the same time, what if he never talks about it again? I don't want to bring it up again to him and make it seem like I'm not past it, and we're not past it as a couple. (He's complained about this a few times. How I bring certain things up multiple times)
We don't have a lot of arguments, so maybe that is why it's taken a while for me to figure out his way of dealing with things.
So how do I pick up the que that we have moved on as a couple from an issue when we don't talk about it?
Any advice or way to shed some light for me?
It would be much appreciated!
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