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Is a month enough time?

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    Is a month enough time?

    A month ago, my S/O and I mutually decided to give each other space; there were apparently family issues and stuff going wrong with her friendships. Also when looking at her Instagram one day (She doesn't really send pics but she posts a lot there, seeing them makes me happy and gives me inspiration) I saw that she was apparently dating some other guy. I clicked on his page after seeing comments on her most recent photo at the time. He posted a picture saying how much he loved her and posted a date signifying when their relationship began which was recently. I questioned her and she explained that this was not the case. I believed her and in light of everything else going on in her life just gave her space. It's been a month of no contact. At first I was hurt and drifted into denial, but now I'm more open to talking about if and even ending things if she'd want that. I just want the truth. We never established how long the space would last. Is a month enough time for me to break the silence?
    I will admit that earlier I went on her Instagram again. I saw a comment on her most recent photo stating she and some other guy were a cute couple. I just want the truth, and I'm sick of this. Opinions? Advice? Anything is welcome.

    #2
    This is why they say love is blind. You can see the evidence of her relationship with someone else with your own eyes but will still believe the lies she tells you. I'm sorry, but you need to move on. She already did, apparently before you were even over, and has been with this same person for over a month.

    You are her backup guy. If things don't work with this guy, she knows she has you waiting. Don't play the fool. Don't contact her as it won't change anything. Block her and get your life back on track.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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      #3
      Move on, she already did.
      Love is patient, Love is kind, Love never fails.

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        #4
        Unfortunately I agree with R&R. If they have moved on after only a month after both of you agree to give each other space then they never really loved you. I don't see how anyone can move on after a month if they truly loved you.

        When you take a break from your relationship you aren't supposed to go out and date other people unless that was explicitly mentioned when you mutually decide to take a break. I've taken breaks in past relationships, and even in my current relationship we've taken time apart during difficult times in order to save our relationship. When taking a break we took the time to get our feelings and minds/thoughts clear in order to talk about our problem and find a solution when all the negitive emotions like anger had settled. The break wasn't used to find someone new to replace each other. If they wanted to find someone new they should have ended the relationship, not asked for a break.

        Your S/O is probably using the person from Instagram to get over you; a rebound relationship. Either way I think you should move on, no need to cause your self more hurt/pain questioning their actions and believing their lies (which seem obvious to me). They are moving on and you should too. It might hurt now but in the long run it will be better.

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          #5
          You don't need a confrontation. You just need to never contact her again, since she obviously hooked up with someone else. Next time you are in a relationship; family issues and friendship issues are not reasons to take a break or break up, those are reasons to stay together and fight together. When I met my SO, his sister had been dead just 6 months. You didn't see me having any breakes with him when he became distant, on the contrary I was his excuse to break out from his year of grief to celebrate his birthday again (she dided 2 weeks before his previous birthday). Move on. She doesn't even have the shame to tell you she is dating someone else when it is clear as day, and you have wasted enough time on someone who is no longer interested.
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

          Comment


            #6
            She's just gonna make you look like a romantically-blind fool, and that's it. Fact of the matter is, she's cruelly gone and done what a lot of people seem to do these days. Time to move on, OP.

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              #7
              Nobody wants to hear the words "You should leave" or "Break up with him/her" when asking for relationship advice even when the truth is staring you in the face, but unfortunately I have to agree with everyone else here because there is no relationship here anymore. Don't waste your time trying to fix something that doesn't exist anymore.

              Comment


                #8
                Thank you guys so much. I realize I was definitely blind. I was a fool for trying to love someone who obviously wasn't willing to love me, and couldn't even be truthful about the fact. Sorry for being a bother.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Maxy54321 View Post
                  Thank you guys so much. I realize I was definitely blind. I was a fool for trying to love someone who obviously wasn't willing to love me, and couldn't even be truthful about the fact. Sorry for being a bother.
                  Hey no worries. You were no bother at all. Keep your spirits up and learn from this heartbreak because the girl who truly deserves you is out there somewhere waiting for you

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Maxy54321 View Post
                    Thank you guys so much. I realize I was definitely blind. I was a fool for trying to love someone who obviously wasn't willing to love me, and couldn't even be truthful about the fact. Sorry for being a bother.
                    There is no need to beat yourself up about it. In fact, if you already realize that she has moved on, you have come far. Often we don't want to believe when a relationship is over, which means we invested something of ourselves. Keep that in mind and other uppertunities will come. I sense that truth and straightforwardness is important to you, that might be qualities to look for next time. Wish you the best of luck
                    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Maxy54321 View Post
                      Thank you guys so much. I realize I was definitely blind. I was a fool for trying to love someone who obviously wasn't willing to love me, and couldn't even be truthful about the fact. Sorry for being a bother.
                      You aren't a bother, it's what this site is here for. Be good to yourself, and give yourself some time to heal.
                      Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Maxy54321 View Post
                        Thank you guys so much. I realize I was definitely blind. I was a fool for trying to love someone who obviously wasn't willing to love me, and couldn't even be truthful about the fact. Sorry for being a bother.
                        You aren't a bother. Sometimes you just need an outside perspective or for someone to confirm what you already know. Always remember, you deserve to be treated right in a relationship.
                        To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                        ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Never a bother to take care of yourself and reach out to people for support! Don't sweat it. Very sorry this happened to you. Make sure to focus on your wellbeing now and let yourself move on. You deserve better in life.

                          ~
                          It'll take a lot more than words and guns
                          A whole lot more than riches and muscle
                          The hands of the many must join as one
                          And together we'll cross the river

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