Hard to say good bye. Help to not cry?

[Tricia1213]

I just spent four days with my boyfriend. We try to see each other every weekend or so. Its just so hard to say goodbye. I cry every night before we go our separate ways. And the day of. Im just so happy when we are together and feel so incomplete when we are apart.Any suggestions to make it easier?

[TaraMarie]

I know that exact feeling. We also see each other every week, but I still count the hours we have left before he goes. On the plus side, it's only five short days until the next visit.

[R&R]

Can I ask how long you have been dating?

My best advice would be to make sure you are having a full life of your own during the week. Activities and things for you to do that fulfill you. It will make your time go by faster and remind you that you are an individual. You need to remind yourself that you are complete on your own and this relationship is an enhancement to your life. Having a relationship with someone you love is wonderful and it's understandable to miss each other when you are apart. I'm not trying to minimize that you miss him during the week, but remind yourself that you are extremely lucky to see him so frequently. Look at the positives.

[snow_girl]

Why are you crying if you know your going to see him again in a week?

[Miasmata]

There's nothing wrong with crying. It's actually a big help with stress relief. Let it all out, take good care of yourself, and then move on. Put your energy towards work, school, hobbies, what have you.

[TaraMarie]

Why are you crying if you know your going to see him again in a week?

I get it because I feel the same way. She misses him. Even if she sees him every week, it's hard to be apart. I know she (and I) are luckier than most as far as when we see our SO's, but time apart is time apart. She is sad.

[JaneEmily]

I get it because I feel the same way. She misses him. Even if she sees him every week, it's hard to be apart. I know she (and I) are luckier than most as far as when we see our SO's, but time apart is time apart. She is sad.

Exactly. Even though I'm someone who doesn't get to my SO for weeks, I get that the distance - even if it's just a hundred or so miles - can be tough on even them. It must be frustrating feeling like your life is just as inconsistent, one week with, one week without. Just because people see their SO a bit more than others in a LDR, doesn't mean they're not allowed to cry

[Mims27]

I get it because I feel the same way. She misses him. Even if she sees him every week, it's hard to be apart. I know she (and I) are luckier than most as far as when we see our SO's, but time apart is time apart. She is sad.

Exactly. Missing someone is missing someone. We all feel it differently and deal with stuff differently. To her a week is hard. There's nothing wrong with that. Just because some of us go months without seeing our SO's doesn't mean we miss them more or she misses her SO less. It's like saying a couple who is only a couple hours apart aren't long distance.

Hang in there Tricia. It'll get easier!

[differentcountries]

I think sometimes it is harder for those who see their SOs often. They don't get the same chance to grief and settle before the next visit is soon due again. If I had the chance to see him more often I am not sure I would do it, unless he stayed much closer. Travelling, adjusting and readjusting is fun but also disruptive.

[Harlequin]

Distance is distance whether you see each other every weekend or only once a year. Saying goodbye is going to be hard, and no one is more entitled to feeling sad about it than anyone else. This isn't a competition. I imagine it's very frustrating to know you're so close, but you simply can't see each other every day for whatever reason. A weekend is still a very short amount of time, and when you're really happy in your relationship, that incredibly limited time frame is going to suck balls. It's like you have just enough time to say hello and goodbye.
I know when I was in London, I only had three days with my s/o. Of those three days, we only got a few short hours together alone. It sucked. Having to say goodbye sucked.

Anyway, OP, your feelings are valid and there's nothing wrong in being sad about saying goodbye. As Miasmata said, it's great for stress-relief, and you should take care of yourself. Basically, I second everything Miasmata said. If it helps, maybe also remind yourself that it'll be okay and you'll be seeing him again soon.

Keep in mind that, as much as it sucks, distance is only temporary.

[TaraMarie]

Distance is distance whether you see each other every weekend or only once a year. Saying goodbye is going to be hard, and no one is more entitled to feeling sad about it than anyone else. This isn't a competition. I imagine it's very frustrating to know you're so close, but you simply can't see each other every day for whatever reason. A weekend is still a very short amount of time, and when you're really happy in your relationship, that incredibly limited time frame is going to suck balls. It's like you have just enough time to say hello and goodbye.
I know when I was in London, I only had three days with my s/o. Of those three days, we only got a few short hours together alone. It sucked. Having to say goodbye sucked.

Anyway, OP, your feelings are valid and there's nothing wrong in being sad about saying goodbye. As Miasmata said, it's great for stress-relief, and you should take care of yourself. Basically, I second everything Miasmata said. If it helps, maybe also remind yourself that it'll be okay and you'll be seeing him again soon.

Keep in mind that, as much as it sucks, distance is only temporary.

Good point! This past weekend my SO arrived at 10 pm Friday. I left for work at 9 am Saturday, and got home at 7 pm. Because of snow, he had to change his flight to Sunday morning at 9 am. I barely saw him.....and this weekend will be the same. I would love to spend weeks or months with him, but this is my life for now...

[R&R]

Why are you crying if you know your going to see him again in a week?

I can understand where snow_girl is coming with her point of view though. I'm sure some of you are going to think I'm nuts. Yes, I know everyone is different in how we handle things. I just wanted to give an experience of mine.

I've mentioned in a post previously that when I was 21 (I know, eons ago) my CD boyfriend moved 2 1/2 hours away. This made it from seeing each other daily to weekends, or depending on schedules, maybe only one day a week and sometimes not for a couple of weeks. Did it suck? Yup. But we never saw it as more than an inconvenience. It was nothing to cry over when I left - it was "see you in a few days" or "see you next week". It was before the internet, cell phones, texting, Skype, etc. An LDR wasn't this big thing. We had very fulfilling and busy lives outside of our relationship and kept busy when we weren't together. So not saying anyone has it any better or worse or that you don't miss each other but that sometimes maybe it just needs to be looked at in a little different perspective.

[snow_girl]

I can understand where snow_girl is coming with her point of view though. I'm sure some of you are going to think I'm nuts. Yes, I know everyone is different in how we handle things. I just wanted to give an experience of mine.

I've mentioned in a post previously that when I was 21 (I know, eons ago) my CD boyfriend moved 2 1/2 hours away. This made it from seeing each other daily to weekends, or depending on schedules, maybe only one day a week and sometimes not for a couple of weeks. Did it suck? Yup. But we never saw it as more than an inconvenience. It was nothing to cry over when I left - it was "see you in a few days" or "see you next week". It was before the internet, cell phones, texting, Skype, etc. An LDR wasn't this big thing. We had very fulfilling and busy lives outside of our relationship and kept busy when we weren't together. So not saying anyone has it any better or worse or that you don't miss each other but that sometimes maybe it just needs to be looked at in a little different perspective.

I'm not saying the distance isn't better or worse but when you see your SO probably more then your grandparents I don't understand the need to be so upset every single week. As the SO I would get real tired of it. I love my SO very much and I see him about as much as the OP and he would probably dump me for being so needy and crying when he left even though I'd see him again in a week or two. If the OP has some separation issues then she should seek some help to deal with the anxiety because I don't see this being normal. If a relationship causes you this much distress on a weekly basis I don't see the benefit.

[TwoThree]

I think sometimes it is harder for those who see their SOs often. They don't get the same chance to grief and settle before the next visit is soon due again. If I had the chance to see him more often I am not sure I would do it, unless he stayed much closer. Travelling, adjusting and readjusting is fun but also disruptive.

You have absolutely no way of knowing who gets it the hardest, so that assumption is silly. You see your SO every month or so, don't pretend like you know how hard it is for me who see mine four times a year (at best)

[Honour]

You have absolutely no way of knowing who gets it the hardest, so that assumption is silly. You see your SO every month or so, don't pretend like you know how hard it is for me who see mine four times a year (at best)

What about those who never get to see their SO's? DC might understand more than we realise

To the OP: I agree with snow_girl on this. To cry so much when the time between your visits is so short? That's not healthy in the slightest... You need to relax. The world isn't ending, after all.