Gah.. I hate when I do something stupid...

[Gurl]

And the other person waits a day to bring it up... Makes me feel worse somehow!! My SO asked me to add something to the discussion he was trying to start via his FB status and the comments there. So I did, but went for a short version of what we'd sort of been talking about. This upset him....from the conversation tonight, made (makes?) him wonder if I "overlook" him. *sighs*

Surely, he should know better. I just am not real comfortable posting to his FB these days...but not sure how to explain that without sounding like the insecure bitch that I am. I just don't feel comfortable posting knowing his ex but now friend that I dispise can possibly read what I post. If its something that's sort of an inside thing or nothing that feels too private, then its not a problem. But an indepth convo we are having where I am explaining why I can see that people compare him to one of his favorite TV characters is not along those lines. Somehow, I don't want her (or others) to see our convos, though I am comfortable sharing copy and paste with you guys....pretty hypocritical.

I wish I had realized that he ment to post a more detailed type thing...I would of done it, just because he asked.... Makes me feel silly for being so upset over this, and a bit dumb for not catching what he was asking for *sighs*

I think this whole knowing there is (now) a likely chance he will be staying another 9 months is f'n with my head pretty bad. I think its pulling me towards depression...Yet I don't want to start a conversation that I am not sure I want to hear his side of either. From other parts of our convo, he has an offer on the table that he will take if nothing else comes up *sighs* Happy for him, but sucks to be me right now. I don't know wtf to do at this point in time and its making me a little crazy. Especially considering how hard I am working to get this whole Vday present thing done just right...Why does loving someone always seem to hurt? Gah!!!! I need a beer, a shot of tequila...something to chill me out and hopefully help me either stop obsessing or cry this all out!

Thanks for reading...I just needed to vent... I am so glad this is here and ya'll are so awesome.

[Rach321]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time Gurl! I'm sure you already know it, but if you're feeling really worked up, try breathing conciously and steadily for a few minutes. This always helps to take the edge off of what ever I'm feeling.

As for the facebook thing, don't stress yourself out too much about it. From what you've posted here, you do a lot for him. Even if he was disappointed that you didn't understand exactly what he wanted you to do, I can't imagine it being that big of a deal. I would imagine he'll forget it quickly, and he probably already has. If it really bothers you, why don't you tell him what you've posted here? I know the ex is a senstive issue, but you can just tell him that you felt uncomfortable sharing what you thought was a private conversation on his facebook wall. Everyone has different levels of comfort about what they want to share on facebook, and it can be hard to predict what someone else wants to share and what they don't. He may not understand, but hopefully he will listen to you and respect your perspective. He will definitely forget any frustration he had when he sees what you've done for him for Valentine's Day!

But, as you said, the uncertainty of whether or not he'll be back when originally planned is really difficult. I hope that he gets some answers soon, so that you can both talk about what it means for the two of you. Hugs!

[lunamea]

Yeah, I'm sorry, too. I'm totally with you on the FB thing, though. Friends of mine do that, too - starting really private conversations as wall posts - WFT?!? I don't get it. I have a lot of people "friended" on FB that I'm not really friends with, if you know what I mean (ex-classmates, people who live in my dorm but I don't know well etc.) - I limit their viewing privileges, but still, I don't know why people who have 100+ friends themselves keep asking me personal questions on my wall. I guess they just don't care about their privacy, but I do. I'd just tell him that - even if his ex was not on there, his other "friends" don't need to know everything either. I would've just sent him a private message and said I hate the word limit in wall posts (it's what I do with my friends... )
And, yeah, from everything you do for him, there's not a chance in hell you "overlook" him - perhaps you can just post some button or other application on his wall to kind of prove him wrong? I understand that the bad news are working you up, but perhaps that's the same with him?

[Alisz]

I'm sorry *hugs* Perhaps the job thing has been stressing him out too? Maybe he was feeling down and wanted some extra attention from you, but since you're not a mind reader he got upset about it. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. Like others have said and I've noticed, you do a lot for him. ^^

As for FB... yeah, I could rant about FB all day XD It could be a great tool to keep in contact with people, update people on important (read: not what you ate for dinner last night) events, and even meeting new people through friends... but that's not how the majority of its users use it for. It is in a sense a popularity contest. Some people are competitive about how many friends they have and how active their wall is. I remember FB in its early days thinking it had some potential, but then like a month later when it started to catch on I deemed it MySpace 2.0. :/ I totally get the privacy issue tho. I didn't have an account for the longest time and got really annoyed that my friends would post pictures on it with me in it without asking me. They still do it... I would just wait until he's calmed down about the issue and maybe mention casually about your comfort levels on FB.

[Tanja]

Don't beat yourself up about this, if you don't feel comfortable posting on his wall then don't, just tell him that and I'm sure he'll understand.

I think you should maybe initiate a convo with him about him possibly staying for another 9 months and what exactly does that mean for your relationship. I know you love him but you said you might not be able to wait for that long, you should tell him that.
You said in your other post that he's not the kind of person who lets other ppl affect his decisions much or that he's not the type of guy who can be pushed into making them - knowing that what are you afraid of? You could be completely open about your true feelings and not just pretend that you're happy for him for having a job. You're a big part of his life and he wouldn't make any kind of decisions about his future without first asking you how do you REALLY feel and taking you into account so if/when he does, don't lie to him. Yes, he might have the dream job back there and he would do great financially but by staying he might lose you - what do you think he cares more about?

[Mio]

I'm sorry to hear that he might stay longer. It must hurt as hell, I think a good shot of whiskey will do Maybe you can tell him that you are happy he is progressing in his job or something, but that it makes you sad it will take longer to see him again. Or maybe you can plan some sort of getaway, maybe he can come home for some days or you guys can meet in a middle point.

And about the FB thing, if you don't want to publicly post things, you should tell him in a nice but direct way that you don't like it. Tell him that is not that you don't want to share with him or do things together, but that sharing your private thoughts to the eyes of many does not make you comfortable.

Take care Gurl, lots of hugs for you!

[Gurl]

Thanks guys... it was just really bugging me last night, as I know how sensitive an issue it is for him. He feels like noone sees him...at times he gets really down on him self and thinks he's useless though I've always told him how much he is there for me and helps me through things I would have a hell of a time getting through on my own.. though not in those exact words.

@Tanja-- I know we need to talk about it..I just know that he SHOULD choose the job, especially since one of the major reasons he wouldn't make a firm commitment to begin with was his financial situation. So I pretty much know what he would choose...since choosing to come home leaves him right where he was, he'd see it as counter productive. Or at least, that's how I believe he'd see it. Today was his day off, so I will probably try and start the convo....since he's pretty well committed to staying, unless he is told there will be no transfer to the other department and doesn't get any other offers.

I really do appreciate everyone's support... IF/when we talk about it, will fill ya'll in.