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**Sarah96** · February 9, 2015, 02:45 PM

If you feel as though you two have grown apart and you don't fit together well anymore then maybe it is time you end it, especially if you have cheated on him. He deserves someone that will respect him and not hurt him and you deserve to be happy also. Don't force yourself to stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, that isn't healthy and you will just end up continuing to hurt both of you. There is no easy way to end a relationship, but if you feel as though it needs to be done, then it needs to be done. Talk to him and let him know that you think it should end. Express your feelings, apologize if you feel you need to and focus on yourself. Try not to be hurtful, it will only make it worse. Spend some time taking care of yourself and moving on, it's the best you can do.

**merlinkitty** · February 9, 2015, 02:45 PM

You know, there's really no way to not hurt someone when you're ending it with him. And to me, reading your post, it sounds like you're emotionally closing the book on your current SO already. Perhaps it is time to move on with your life. Growing apart happens, especially when you've known them from a younger age. It's fairly common.

If you do decide to break up with him, ultimately you're going to have to do what feels best to you. What I've done in the past has varied with the guy. I guess once you decide what you want to do, just hold your ground. It gets emotional, and sometimes tears and fears can draw you back together, but if this is what you want to do, then be respectful if possible, but firm. I like to pay the respect of doing it to their face. I figure they've earned that of me.

I'm not wild about the staying friends after. I know it works in some situations. As a matter of fact I'm "friends" with one from about 20 years ago on Facebook, but I talk with his wife more than him. But I think that's kind of the point. He's married with a kid, I'm seeing a guy in England. What bond we had back then has long since dissolved. The rest of the guys I've dated, especially the last, I couldn't be social with on any level. Too much hurt to have them around. And I think it confuses them if they still harbor feelings for you.

But if you're ready to try something new, then give yourself a chance! You sound like it's time

**Honour** · February 9, 2015, 02:56 PM

Hey, at least you're honest. I'm not gonna judge about what you did. Not saying I agree, but what's done is done, right?

You're already way past this guy. As someone said, you closed your emotions by the looks of things from this guy, and you're wanting to move on. You'll have to take the good with the bad, as breaking up with someone isn't easy, as you most likely know.

My advice? Be honest, but don't do it in a dick move. Say it to his face, do it the best way you can. Even if it hurts both parties, maybe it is for the best. Only time would be able to tell that.

**differentcountries** · February 9, 2015, 03:01 PM

You can't break up with him without causing him pain. If you try to soften the blow too much, you will only make him confused and cause him additional pain.

Just tell him; I am sorry but I feel we have grown apart. Tonight I want our romantic relationship to come to an end.

**Miasmata** · February 9, 2015, 03:36 PM

I think you answered your own question already. Award your current partner the honesty and respect he deserves, even after all is said and done, and tell him that you want to end it.

**Hylexuly** · February 10, 2015, 10:32 AM

I am really afraid of hurting him.. as I am not unhappy with him... but I feel it's just matter of time we'll keep hurting each other and we'll eventually break up or keep the toxic relationship up... I am thankful for all the advices. I know what I've done isn't good and even if he has hurt me I shouldn't have... But I did it and I couldn't undo my feels for the other guy. I am so afraid to end it. He'll break apart... his family really loves me and his friends seemed to accept me as a part of family and now they'll all hate me. I am so afraid of what his mum will go through...

**merlinkitty** · February 10, 2015, 11:57 AM

You can't think about that. This is one of those times selfish is a good thing. I sent a text message to my ex's mother I'd known and come to truly love over the course of 9 years. I told her "please don't contact me again," with no explanation, nothing. Took me over two weeks to send it but the contact was hurting me. Should I have let her continue to keep me in her life (and that of her son's) because she loved me and couldn't let go, meanwhile hurting me in the process? I don't think so. I love me more than I loved my feelings for them. You should too.

**whatruckus** · February 10, 2015, 12:36 PM

Look at it this way: Would you rather break it off with him, be relieved, and both you and him are able to move on and be happy, and find someone else to make you happy? Or, would you rather keep deceiving him, and burying yourself even deeper, and hurt both of you even more?

Merlinkitty said it the best. I was with my ex for 5 years, and his family absolutely adored me and wanted us to get married. I'm still close with his cousins (on his step-mom's side), but that's also because they're not close with my ex, nor do they even like him. My ex's brothers and sisters, I'm still friends with on FB, but I don't talk to them at all. In fact, I've unfollowed them so they don't even show up in my feed.

I'm sure that they'll be upset, but it's better for you to be honest with yourself and with him and break it off. They'd rather that, than you lead him on.

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