Triggers

[mynameiseric]

this isnt really about relationships...but is there anyone else out there that for example when you hear something, or when you see something it just instantly gets you sad/mad/upset or whatever emotion you want to fill in there? Mine is my girlfriend's best friend. Whenever he comes up in conversation, I feel myself getting upset and then I get quiet, then It just completely ruins my mood

And if any of you have read my past post about trust, you already know the situation. Ive never had anything in my life before affect me or be able to change my mood like this can.

So does anyone have any "triggers" that they have, or tips on how to deal with it??

[P1nkL3m0n4d3]

=\ I have lots of triggers.... most that make me sad... The thing is that they dont ALWAYS have that reaction... like I just posted about my SO saying he wanted to kiss me and I instantly started crying... that doesnt always happen when he says that but it does occasionally... also just the word "goodbye" does that to me too.

Id like to hear some advice on how to deal with triggers too!

[mynameiseric]

it just sucks because everytime his name comes up, I get annoyed/upset...and I feel bad for Amanda because hes soo prevalent in her life, but if I hold back how I feel, then im being fake. and im not a fake person

[Allie.CanCali]

Hmm...I guess I have a few triggers...but it also depends on the mood that I'm already in.

[mynameiseric]

regardless of the mood im in...it brings me down faster then anything

[P1nkL3m0n4d3]

it just sucks because everytime his name comes up, I get annoyed/upset...and I feel bad for Amanda because hes soo prevalent in her life, but if I hold back how I feel, then im being fake. and im not a fake person

(My name is Amanda too @_@ lol )
=\ I know my SO gets that way if he hears the name of my ex ever... not sure how he deals with that but I know he would get the EXACT same way that you do, kinda quiet and his mood changes...

[folclor]

I have triggers for a very different reason than you. ^^; I can't talk to men with certain dispositions. They freak me out and I will clam up and hide sometimes. Well, at least, that's what I've been doing. am working on getting over that. ^^

as for you...my suggestion is just work on accepting their relationship and knowing that she chooses you over him. It's not easy but with enough work you'll be able to overcome it, methinks ^^

[LadyMarchHare]

I'm that way with his being in public when he calls me, especially friends because they always say such rude things and aren't considerate that he's on the phone. The same with his drinking. If he tells me he's having a beer or glass of wine I get out of sorts but that's because I'm insanely anti-alcohol.

[Zephii]

I do, for sure.

I get angry every time Obi mentions D&D... even though I play it with his group, and it's not terrible. Every time it comes up I feel pressured. I know this will pass now that I'm becoming more involved and stuff but still. Mentioning conventions does the same thing to me, I know what he used to do at those conventions before I got to Canada. </3

Mentioning certain friends of his does it too, but luckily those friendships seem to be dying off. I once read that if a partner knows one of their friendships affects you badly that in time they will ease out of it. But then I read a lot of crap that isn't necessarily true. I hope it's true for us both tho!

But yeah, some things also make me scared or sad. Very few things make me instantly happy. That makes me wish I was a bit more positive!

[mynameiseric]

im trying to accept it...but I constantly feel like its a competition between him and I for Amanda. And this has nothing to do with what shes doing, but I should feel like im number 1 in her life, and to an extent I do, but also to an extent I dont. Not as much as I used to, but I still have those occasional thoughts

[paulawriteslove]

The one thing that triggers me is when my boyfriend goes gaming on Friday nights. I don't like it because he gets occupied by playing online games with his friends. But ya, I try to keep everything positive

[mynameiseric]

Amanda is a veryyyy positive person hah sounds just like her!! I try to stay positive, but I guess im more of an insecure person then others so I do have those negative thoughts

[NaNi]

My trigger would be when we talk about my her ex-boyfriend. Or when the topic of the "first kiss" comes up, because she didn't share that with me. I really do get instantly sad, no matter if I was being all happy before.

[BoogleBee]

(My name is Amanda too @_@ lol )
=\ I know my SO gets that way if he hears the name of my ex ever... not sure how he deals with that but I know he would get the EXACT same way that you do, kinda quiet and his mood changes...

thats what happens to my SO too if my ex is ever mentioned or if she is somehow reminded of him for some reason. Which she already posted here. I just don't know of a way to fix it for her...hmm.

[squiddie]

For me lately, it's just thinking about my bf and the fact that he's not nearby. In June, I moved to a new town where I know no one, and I'm still meeting people, but outside of people at the hospital where I work, I don't really know anyone. It was okay to start, because he was only an hour and a half away, so I could see him on weekends and it made the weeks a little more tolerable, since I was at work.

But since then, it's been really hard. I'm getting better, volunteering and trying to be a little more social (hard, bc I'm shy), but whenever I get asked how it's going, I tend to break down.