Hi everyone, I've been checking out this forum for a few days and found a lot posts to be helpful and insightful..
Well I'm in a bit of a bind and I'm not sure what to do in this situation.
I am (was) in a ldr/friendship with a delightful person.. I knew him from before, but I had to go back to my country. Over the internet we kinda bonded and things went from there. We usually are in contact every other day. If one of us is busy, a biweekly email is sent. We skype and webcam sometimes..
Recently I had not heard from him or seen him online. Despite my efforts to contact him (even asking one of his coworkers about his whereabouts), he never replied. Then one day he comes online, said he had "reached the bottom" and been on an alcohol binge for awhile and is now hungover.. He's had bouts of depression before, but he always worked through it. Hearing that he chose alcohol over someone to talk to (me), was like a slap in the face. I don't tolerate alcohol, hate it in fact, so I told him to come back when he is clean and sober.. Haven't seen him since..
I realize I can't be in a relation with this person anymore, but I still consider him a good close friend and I care for him deeply. To lose someone over alcohol would be a major blow for me.
I had planned a visit to him a few months ago. I had hinted about it to him, but never went into details. So it would be a semi-surprise. I have a plane ticket and everything. He lives on the other side of the planet. But given the circumstances, I don't know if I should go.. I want to go because I want to be sure he is okay and suggest that he gets some help, but I'm afraid of what might happen.
What would you do in such a situation?
Well I'm in a bit of a bind and I'm not sure what to do in this situation.
I am (was) in a ldr/friendship with a delightful person.. I knew him from before, but I had to go back to my country. Over the internet we kinda bonded and things went from there. We usually are in contact every other day. If one of us is busy, a biweekly email is sent. We skype and webcam sometimes..
Recently I had not heard from him or seen him online. Despite my efforts to contact him (even asking one of his coworkers about his whereabouts), he never replied. Then one day he comes online, said he had "reached the bottom" and been on an alcohol binge for awhile and is now hungover.. He's had bouts of depression before, but he always worked through it. Hearing that he chose alcohol over someone to talk to (me), was like a slap in the face. I don't tolerate alcohol, hate it in fact, so I told him to come back when he is clean and sober.. Haven't seen him since..
I realize I can't be in a relation with this person anymore, but I still consider him a good close friend and I care for him deeply. To lose someone over alcohol would be a major blow for me.
I had planned a visit to him a few months ago. I had hinted about it to him, but never went into details. So it would be a semi-surprise. I have a plane ticket and everything. He lives on the other side of the planet. But given the circumstances, I don't know if I should go.. I want to go because I want to be sure he is okay and suggest that he gets some help, but I'm afraid of what might happen.
What would you do in such a situation?
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