Don't want history repeating itself

[Elizabeth123]

I agree financial aid money is NOT for travel. It is also true she is dependent child in her parent's home.
Now you said YOU think visits are done in turns...maybe you need to rethink your approach. Setting rigid boundaries like that causes even more problems.
A true relationship is not always completely 50 / 50...each party brings something to the table and strengthens the whole.
Right now it seems she is unable to visit .......are you willing to support her or are you putting more pressure on her?
IMHO you both have some growing up to do

[Honour]

OP, 5 pages in and you still don't understand? Seriously, listen to the folks on this forum. They know what they're talking about.

[Redheart14]

At the end of the day I think you need to just cut your losses on this one. What's more important; seeing her even if that means you do all the travelling for now? Or not seeing her because she can't come to you? Relationships are about compromise and I can totally understand why she wouldn't want you paying for her ticket. She is relying on you, you are her rock when things get rough. I know you want her to visit you, but the sad fact is until her parents adjust it most likely won't happen. Be her rock, make it easier for her (she's obviously stressed) and go to her. Show her that you'll always be there to support her. It might even get you brownie points with the parents showing a higher level of maturity that they probably won't expect. Don't get sucked into this game as it only causes more stress on you and your SO. Your gf would be feeling so torn right now with conflict between her parents and you. Love is compromise, if the sacrifice of this is you going to her until her parents settle then that's how it'll have to be if you really want to see her. Yes it's unfair, yes it may suck but ultimately it's either you want to see her enough you'll go there or you don't.

[differentcountries]

I am willing to pay for her ticket. My gf just doesn't feel it'd be right to do so.

Then your gf should start to think otherwise. It is right because you don't earn the same and that is the only way. I payed for SO to come see me, as well as his hotel, his food and all. Why? Because he already does all he can. Paying is what I can do. It is really very simple.

[Unconditional]

Relationships require compromise, and if you guys do not find one. It will not make either of you very happy. I think you are reading our advice but you are not understanding exactly where we are coming from.

[Harlequin]

I agree with the advice everyone else has given so far, so I won't parrot it, but I want to focus on her mom's comments.
The way her mom is talking really makes me think that something happened during your visit that made her (and probably your s/o's dad) not like you. I can't say for sure what it was, of course, because I wasn't there. Whatever it was, I feel like it's also getting in the way, and will continue to get in the way of attempted visits. Obviously, whatever you did, you didn't mean any disrespect and would never deliberately do something to offend her parents. However, she's their baby girl and they're going to be extremely critical of you for not only being so far away, but also being her first boyfriend(if I'm remembering correctly), and just generally being kinda new. They're trying to get a good read on you, and they don't want their daughter to get hurt since I'm sure they're well aware of how passive she is. You're not a passive person, so there's a chance of you taking advantage of her, etc.
When you're a very straight-forward and aggressive (not necessarily the right word, but you know what I mean) person, you run the risk of coming off as very pushy and domineering even when you don't mean to. When you're some sort of commission salesman, that isn't necessarily a bad trait to have; however, when meeting your girlfriend's parents, you want to be as charming and polite as possible. Sometimes, that means being kinda passive and hardcore scrutinizing your own actions. Anything that can be taken the wrong way, will be. They don't have any other grounds for comparison in order to know that something you've said or done accidentally got misconstrued.
So, keeping everyone else's advice in mind, I'd also consider getting those brownie points up, because you're going to need them in order to correct their impression of you. Even if they can tell you're totally kissing their asses, it'll at least tell them that you're making the effort to be the sort of guy they feel is good enough for their daughter.

All in all, good luck!

[D4Joseph]

I didn't realize others have commented even more until now. A small update: her dad called me the other day and we had a long talk. He said he doesn't have any type of issues with me . He actually told me he supports the relationship. He gave me advice on various things and we touched base. Overall we both got to speak and get everything out there. As for the mom I don't know. I for one was a complete gentleman on my visit. That's a requirement because it's her parents and their home. I Know better.

[D4Joseph]

P.s, I'm not saying alternating visits HAS to be the only way. I said that's just how we have been doing it. Of course if a change has to be made I'm willing

[CheapThrills]

Absolutely!