✔ Give and receive support from others who are loving from a distance.
✔ Post anonymously with a click of a button in our anonymous sections.
✔ All members each get a personal blog - share your LDR journey or use it as a private journal (posts can be made private).
✔ Participate in community activities and events.
✔ Registering unlocks photos posted in threads.
We haven't really had a fight, but that doesn't mean we haven't had our issues. That being said, what matters is not how much you fight, but how secure and happy you are in your relationship like lucybelle said.
"We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."
My SO and I annoy each other sometimes, and it can cause a few moments of awkward silence or words between us. But I can't stay angry for long at him, and vice versa. It takes about 5-10 minutes and then it's like nothing happened.
My SO and I don't argue very often because we are so open and honest with each other. We find we argue about "stupid things" more when one of us isn't communicating clearly, and then we talk it out. We've had two big fights. During both, we took some time to gather our thoughts, and when we were both ready we sat down and had a conversation about why each of us felt the way we did. We never have a screaming match with each other, and we don't give the other one any form of silent treatment, which works for us. What works for us doesn't work for everyone.
In person, we never (or very rarely) argue. We're good talkers and communicators. Online/text/chat...way more often. And 99% of the time it's because we don't read each other properly. I've come to pretty much hate chatting.
"True love isn't about being inseparable; its about two people being true to each other even when they are separated." Married April 18th, 2015!!
Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!
My SO and me fight rather often (to me, it's a fight when the discussion moves past a normal discussion and the situation becomes confrontational/emotional rather than constructive). About every bunch of weeks, I think? Sometimes more, sometimes less. I'm a big fan of talking things out openly and respectfully, but figuring out how to do that together has been a rather rocky path. He's afraid of conflict and critizing people and bottles things up until it gets too much, I am afraid of letting things unspoken or unfinished and prod when I feel something's wrong, we both got strong tempers. It's a recipe that inevitably leads to fights sooner or later. But in our case, those fights have always been educational and cathartic, and they helped us get closer to understanding how to tackle these situations. I feel we come out better from these fights, and turn them into healthy discussions more often. But we're never going to be completely unconfrontational people, I think, that's just not how we tick. And I think as long as we stay aware of our behaviour and our relationship doesn't suffer from it, it's fine that way.
Last edited by Miasmata; March 14, 2015, 11:32 AM.
~ It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than riches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together we'll cross the river
But the good thing about a lot of communication being via text is that I get the chance to type out what I sporadically think...read it, and then go "whoa, you're an asshole" and delete it lol
That's probably why :P Once you spend a lot of time in person and there is no option of deleting what you said, there might be fights or arguments where you have to explain exactly what you meant.
Relationship began: 05/22/2012 First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013 Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015
We do even though it's really recent beteween us.. But it's not because we have a complete different personnality or something, no. It's more because our relationship is new. I'm insecure about the situation, it's all new for me and i worry a lot about this, she does too, and sometimes the situation is hard to handle. But with time i think it will be better. I trust her, i think she trust me, we are building reciproqual confidence.
Me and my SO argue a lot. Lol. But mostly because we have two different personalities (I like to talk and chat a lot, he doesnt; he likes to joke about everything, I dont; etc..) so we mostly have stupid little ones that we easily leave behind. And this is no healthy, we have to work on this definitely.
But even though I agree with others who said that (some) conflicts are useful and healthy, I also tell you that is no problem not to fight if you don't have any reason. I've known my best friend for 12 years and we never fighted or had a real arguement. It's about friendship, but it can be the same in a couple.
That's probably why :P Once you spend a lot of time in person and there is no option of deleting what you said, there might be fights or arguments where you have to explain exactly what you meant.
Actually, we often "delete" what we just said when we are CD. We have a lot of misunderstandings, due to thinking differenly and of course language differences. We often just say "Nevermind" or "forget it" if we can't explain something properly or we said something that came off weird.
I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
We rarely argue. When we do, it's more when we are in person. With being able to read the body language and actually seeing the looks we are giving each other, it can cause things to maybe escalate a little. We don't have yelling, screaming, name calling type of fights though. Our biggest argument was about what is going to happen with the house in Indy when he moves.
If he's getting frustrated with me on the phone, he'll just sigh and say "I love you, Honey" and lets it go. It's usually because I am trying to plan things for a visit and he is not a planner at all. He'd rather figure it out the week I'm supposed to get there and there is no way that's happening lol.
To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
Actually, we often "delete" what we just said when we are CD. We have a lot of misunderstandings, due to thinking differenly and of course language differences. We often just say "Nevermind" or "forget it" if we can't explain something properly or we said something that came off weird.
I'm glad this works for you, I'm also glad that you never disappoint to make me find your opposing opinion to mine on every post
Relationship began: 05/22/2012 First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013 Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015
We definitely argue a lot. But, 95% of it is over stupid, unimportant, little things. We don't have many "big" arguments, or fights, or whatever. Actually, we've never had much of a fight. We don't scream at each other and we never call each other names. We just get slightly emotional. But, after a few hours, or a day, and sometimes even right after the argument, we're fine.
Comment