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Should I let this go?

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    Should I let this go?

    Hi, everyone. I am new to this loving from a distance. I came across this site as I was looking for some advice and probably tips on what to do in LDR, and this is the site came up first.

    So, here's the thing. I'm not new to LDR. My boyfriend and I have been dating for more than a year now, 18 months to be exact. He's from Florida and I am from the Philippines. We haven't met in person yet but we already talked about seeing each other in the future. We have no specific date yet but we're looking at next year since we both have to save up for this plan. We're both 26 years old and are working to support our families which makes it hard for us to save. But we're trying and waiting.

    But just lately, he's been very busy. So busy that we don't have time to talk or even chat. He's working 2 jobs now so he can support his mom and his brother since his step dad died. He's basically the breadwinner now. I really don't have a problem with that, in fact I support his decision to help his mom because I am also helping my parents. But the thing is his situation is so overwhelming and he's getting depressed. He does not open up to me, yet, because I think he's still scared. He's giving me the cold shoulder treatment, he barely talks to me cause I know he's tired and I understand. But one thing bugs me. He said that whenever I say I love you over and over again, he finds it weird and very excessive. I was quite offended cause I used to do that but he didn't have any negative comment. The only reason why I kept saying that it's because I wanted to remind him that he has me, someone who loves him and who will always be there for him who will understand him. He just seems so angry right now that I don't know what to do to make him feel better, I'm too far from him and I can't be there to comfort him physically. It seems that words are not enough to help him now and it seems that he doesn't want anything from me anymore.

    I really don't know what to do. He said he's tired of everything and did not explain or said anything yet. I'm hoping that he's not tired of our relationship too. I'm thinking of giving him space. Is that the right thing to do? I'm scared that I might lose him if I did. I don't even know how to say it if it's something that I should do. I'm emotionally tired and weary. I don't want to lose him.

    Someone please help me.

    #2

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      #3
      i dont know how to do this, and I cant. I dont I think I can. Thinking about letting him go just hurts me so bad, really bad. how do I even do this when he dont talk to me sensibly?

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        #4
        No, not let him go, you need to chill the f out. He's busy and stressed and having an overly clingy girlfriend is not going to help the situation. My ex want one to say i love you often, so i didn't either. I can imagine your constant telling him i love you because as you say you are reminding him he has you is super annoying. He us fully aware. Appreciate that he's actually busy and give the poor guy some space

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          #5
          i'm laughing at your reply snow_girl but it actually helped. yeah, im freaking out cause this is the first time that has happened and I dont know how to deal with it. i dont even know how to tell him that im giving him the space. or should i even tell him that im giving him space?

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            #6
            You don't tell him, you just do it

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              #7
              okay thank you!

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                #8
                I don't think you can get anymore blunt than that

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                  #9
                  Sorry I felt it was almost my duty to reply here. I nearly had to do a double take until you started mentioning details. I am also from Florida and my SO is in the Philippines.

                  Since you've already been given advice all I can say is that I sincerely wish you both luck with everything.

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                    #10
                    Yeah just give him space! Being patient is very hard, but some space will help both of you relax.
                    He knows he's got you and you love him and you're there for him. It's up to him if he wants to share his problems or not.

                    Time solves a lot of thing!!

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                      #11
                      I agree with everyone. You need to back it up. I used to be like that to my SO, and he told me he needed space, I gave it to him. It was hard at first, but then I got used to it and now he doesn't see me as being so annoying. I suggest you do the same.

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                        #12
                        I feel like 9/10 times when someone posts a thread and its titled "should I let this go?", the answer is " yes for the love of god let it go!"

                        If you are constantly telling someone you love them, the words lose their meaning. Give the man his space.
                        "You want for myself
                        You get me like no one else
                        I am beautiful with you

                        I am beautiful with you
                        Even in the darkest part of me
                        I am beautiful with you
                        Make it feel the way it's supposed to be
                        You're here with me
                        Just show me this and I'll believe
                        I am beautiful with you"

                        -Halestorm

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                          #13
                          It annoys me when we try to figure out our next date or any other major thing in our future and I get sad and discouraged and his reply is 'I love you'. It's very nice to hear but not always and all the time. And it's not enough. It feels like it nullifies every worry I just expressed. Loving someone alone is not the answer to every problem. I can see why that would upset your SO.

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                            #14
                            I just can't help but laugh at myself at this moment with all of the things that all of you wonderful people posted here. I just don't know how to handle the situation and I freaked out. I'm actually taking everyone's advice right now. I'm giving him the space that he needs. Thank you so much everyone!

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