This is in regards to an ex of mine, we met last March- he's from PCB, FLorida and I'm from Indianapolis, IN. He was working as a security guard at a club on spring break and when my eyes met him I instantly felt an attraction. Long story short, we decided to start a long distance relationship before I even left the city. A few weeks after I left, he ended up getting in some legal trouble causing him to be put on probation, to pay court fines, to take classes, travel restrictions, the whole 9. I knew the moment I saw him he was my soul-mate and this was confirmed as he felt the same way, so when he told me about his probation I figured this is something we would just power through together and I wanted to support him. The plan was for him to move to Indiana after he wrapped up his fines, classes, and requested a transfer. Unfortunately, after 10 months, he broke up with me as I was not happy. Our relationship was not his first priority, he had to take care of his legal troubles first and he felt it wasn't right to not give me his full attention and effort. I respected that, I was devastated and still am, but I respected the manner in which he ended things. He was doing it in my best interest because he couldn't be the man I needed due to these obligations. A day after he broke up, he ended up in jail again due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time which is all it takes if you are on probation. Please note- prior to this he had completed all probation classes, paid half of his fines, found a great job at the Port, and had 150 of 200 community hours done within months. Please do not discourage me to stay away d/t his criminal past, I look past all of that...he is a GOOD, HONEST man and he was working diligently to prove that. He is getting out today and will be on house arrest for one year in PC, during his 3 months in jail I supported him as a friend through phone calls and letters. It was verbalized from both ends that we still love each other and want to be together, he is just asking that I give him time to take care of his burdens so that they don't become mine. He wants me to be happy and says if I move on he understands but that regarless he feels that God will bring us back together, I truly feel this way as well.
The issue I have now is being that I am single and don't think it's right to put my dating life on hold, I am currently seeing a new guy (my ex is aware). The new guy is for one, HERE, and we do spend a lot of time together. He has filled somewhat of a void and has brought some light to my life as losing my ex tore me to pieces. We laugh like best friends, we go out and do things together, it's light-hearted, we have fun. However, we just don't have the same connection as I do with my ex. My ex and I had an instant click, it is something I have never experience before with anyone else and that's another reason I'm convinced we were meant to be- the mutual feeling of soul mates. I am finding that I compare the new guy to my ex a lot- my ex was very romantic, always expressed how special and beautiful I was to him, embraced me (not hugged), spoke softly to me even when I was a mess, always soothed me, planned future goals with me, he was just EVERYTHING I looked for in a mate. This new guy is emotionally unavailable at times, calls me "dude" and is just now starting to call me "babe", isn't romantic, doesn't want to settle down for 5 years (at least that's what he told me when I first met him), is stil really into hanging with the boys and going out, is kind of cold due to his past struggles and losses, feels I am too needy and it seems we have to WORK at this...with my ex it was natural, it just flowed.
I am at a loss. Do I continue to speak to the new guy? Should I just stay single?? I believe people in relationships open up over time and I'm hoping as we get closer he will be more into me and expressive. I feel I was broken up with, "let go", tossed by my ex which caused me to have some anger towards him. But at the same time, I understand why he did what he did and know that he just wants to love me right, the way I deserve, he wants to fully focus on US but he can't right now. But being that he left me I feel that I am ok to date and move forward but I'm still going to be waiting for my ex to come back at the end of the day. I worry that I would get into a fully committed relationship with someone new ONLY for my ex to call me and say "I'm ready, can you give me another shot?". I fear on a daily basis that if I didn't get back with my ex I would always look back and wonder how things would have been different. I would always feel like I'm missing out on who God has truly intended for me to be with. I am torn and in love...can I just ask for some advice? My friends and family give me two different opinions and I just want an outsider's opinion...thank you thank you!
The issue I have now is being that I am single and don't think it's right to put my dating life on hold, I am currently seeing a new guy (my ex is aware). The new guy is for one, HERE, and we do spend a lot of time together. He has filled somewhat of a void and has brought some light to my life as losing my ex tore me to pieces. We laugh like best friends, we go out and do things together, it's light-hearted, we have fun. However, we just don't have the same connection as I do with my ex. My ex and I had an instant click, it is something I have never experience before with anyone else and that's another reason I'm convinced we were meant to be- the mutual feeling of soul mates. I am finding that I compare the new guy to my ex a lot- my ex was very romantic, always expressed how special and beautiful I was to him, embraced me (not hugged), spoke softly to me even when I was a mess, always soothed me, planned future goals with me, he was just EVERYTHING I looked for in a mate. This new guy is emotionally unavailable at times, calls me "dude" and is just now starting to call me "babe", isn't romantic, doesn't want to settle down for 5 years (at least that's what he told me when I first met him), is stil really into hanging with the boys and going out, is kind of cold due to his past struggles and losses, feels I am too needy and it seems we have to WORK at this...with my ex it was natural, it just flowed.
I am at a loss. Do I continue to speak to the new guy? Should I just stay single?? I believe people in relationships open up over time and I'm hoping as we get closer he will be more into me and expressive. I feel I was broken up with, "let go", tossed by my ex which caused me to have some anger towards him. But at the same time, I understand why he did what he did and know that he just wants to love me right, the way I deserve, he wants to fully focus on US but he can't right now. But being that he left me I feel that I am ok to date and move forward but I'm still going to be waiting for my ex to come back at the end of the day. I worry that I would get into a fully committed relationship with someone new ONLY for my ex to call me and say "I'm ready, can you give me another shot?". I fear on a daily basis that if I didn't get back with my ex I would always look back and wonder how things would have been different. I would always feel like I'm missing out on who God has truly intended for me to be with. I am torn and in love...can I just ask for some advice? My friends and family give me two different opinions and I just want an outsider's opinion...thank you thank you!
Comment