So, I keep reading in peoples threads and posts that...

[loveonspeedial]

saying I miss you and I love you get old or makes the person not want to talk to their SO. I am super confused on those comments, I am a person who knows for a fact that tomorrow is never promised, and I hate not telling my SO daily that I love her. She's expressed to me that sometimes I take it overboard with the excessive details of my love for her but when I don't express them, she kinda freaks out. So I was wondering if miss and love make someone not want to talk to their so how does that not cause fights or problems? I understand it might make the person whose not to great at expressing themselves (like my SO) feel awkward or maybe guilty about the relationships distance but I mean..I dont know what I mean and I was just wondering what peoples thoughts were?

[folclor]

*shrugs* I don't understand that, either. ^^; I tell him every morning and every night that I love him. ^^;

[LadyMarchHare]

I never understand it either. Me, I can't get enough of those three words, both of them, and I can't say 'I love you' enough to him, I always feel like I could say it more as if having just said it didn't make the cut. I don't think it would ever get old with me or lose its meaning, especially if he goes out of his way to make an elaborate description about how much he loves me, why he loves me, etc.

If your SO feels she can't express it like you do, reassure her she expresses it in other ways which I'm sure she does. I know the way I literally say "I love you" sounds sarcastic because I've never had to mean it and I feel bad, but my SO does tell me that he knows how I mean to say it, what I mean to say when I say something the wrong way or not at all, and that I miss him when he's gone even if I don't say it. Things don't always have to be said directly or through words at all, but it is still the most common form and I guess with some people it can get stale.

[Karringtyn]

Kind of confused what you mean....sorry I am soo tired.......but I know with us...we both say it/write it constantly..I have never ever been in a relationship where I could truly open up about my feelings..I love it...

[Moon]

Not saying this is the case in your relationship at all, but I think it's an easy cop-out to replace other topics of conversation, in a way. Occasionally me and my guy will say "Oh, I MISSED you!" when it's been several days between calls, but we leave it at that. Sure, I'd love to hear him wax poetic all over me, but I'd really rather hear how his day was, tease each other, get all philosophical, or just have really silly conversations. That's just me though, your mileage may vary! Maybe your SO just wants to talk about other things, y'know? Trust me, I know it's hard to be in a relationship where you differ in how you express feelings, but if you love each other, you'll figure it out

[Zephii]

Good thread I can't wait to see where this goes.

In a past relationship it used to irritate me how often he'd tell me he loved me. I felt like he was trying to convince himself, and as things got worse, I'd think "well I don't love you" every time he said it. I don't know, it was just so often it felt insincere. But then, he treated me like crap so it probably was insinsere haha.

But with Obi he'll say "I love you" up to 5 or 6 times within 15 minutes if he's really really feeling it. Then he'll apologise for telling me too much lol And I don't mind, it never gets old. We also trade a lot of compliments. I do try to keep what we say to each other interesting as well though, like I'll say something lame like "you're the milk to my oreos" instead to change it up. Creativity is key. Sometimes I don't want to just hear that he loves me, I want to hear why, or what part he loves most, or I want reassureance and that takes a bit more effort.

But I think what the people mean is that if there's nothing else to say then it gets boring. I might be wrong on that though.

Here's a poem I want to share on the subject! (Coz I'm odd like that!)

Say over again, and yet once over again,
That thou dost love me. Though the word repeated
Should seem "a cuckoo-song," as thou dost treat it,
Remember, never to the hill or plain,
Valley and wood, without her cuckoo-strain
Comes the fresh Spring in all her green completed,
Belovčd, I, amid the darkness greeted
By a doubtful spirit-voice, in that doubt's pain
Cry, Speak once more--thou lovest! Who can fear
Too many stars, though each in heaven shall roll,
Too many flowers, though each shall crown the year?
Say thou dost love me, love me, love me--toll
The silver iterance!--only minding, Dear,
To love me also in silence with thy soul.
~ Elizabeth Barret Browning (She was in a LDR too you know)

[5000miles]

I think it's just different personality types. I tell my SO that I love him everytime we say goodnight or goodbye and usally a couple times in between. That might seem like a lot for some people, but for me and my SO, it works. I love to hear when he talks about how much he loves me and I know he loves to hear when I do the same. As long as it's not hollow words, why not say it often? If you really feel that way, why not say it? Like loveonspeedial said, tomorrow isn't promised. And you shouldn't have to feel like you need to time it right, or wonder "if I say it now, will it be too much?". It's how you feel, say it.

But I also understand that there are people that have different views. There isn't a specific mold that everyone needs to fit their relationship in. You have to do what works for you and your SO and not base it on rules that other people set. This is love we're talking about here! This isn't calculus or computer programming, there isn't a specific set of rules that works for every situation or relationship out there. So don't worry about how many times a day everyone else says "I love you" to their SO. Do what works for you and your relationship.

[loveonspeedial]

I agree with you ladies fully! I say it all the time and if my SO doesn't say it back I'll call her back and be like BABY YOU DIDN'T SAY YOU LOVED ME. She says it but she's not like me where I'll be like I love you so much, bla blah blah.
She'll write it, she's better at doing that. But I was surfing the forum and I saw someone wrote that when their so excessively says those things make them not wanna talk to their SO and I was like..WHY?!

[Zephii]

I often wont say it back either. I don't want Obi to think that it's a programmed response, that I say it just because he did, you know? And Obi always says it back, and I've asked him not to, for the same reason. We know we love each other. This isnt the scary first time saying it when you're not sure they feel the same... so it's nice sometimes to just be told, or tell someone, without the need of that automatic response.
Or maybe I'm weird.

[loveonspeedial]

I agree with you Zep, I always prefer hearing cute stuff like that other then I love you, it does get boring at times. I shower my so with "I'd rather be with you then spend a day with Lil Wayne" etc. A few months ago she was like..I don't wanna hear it every day but I still do it just casually. I learned that writing it is better, cause she can deal with my love on her own. Personally, I LOVE IT when she'll randomally text me "I miss your kiss or I love you so much" I just smile so hard and lock it in my phone, never gets old. But I grew up never getting that so maybe thats' why I LOVE hearing it. It is reassuring.

[loveonspeedial]

I think I love you gets thrown around so much that maybe that's why people hate hearing it so much.

And as mentioned by Zep, I understand. I don't like saying I love you too, I'd rather say, "and I love you." I hate saying it as we're rushing off the phone but I always mean it, I've meant it from day one. My life is sometimes dangerous, my neighbors are always fighting my roommate was a hooker at one point I've had a stalker so for me It's SO important for me to say it and I always remind her

[Zephii]

Past probably does have a lot to do with it, culture too *nods in agreement*

ps: There are lots of very nice prostitutes in the world, so don't go judging people by how they put food on the table

[Čternity]

Are you asking how couples communicate their love for each other apart from saying it? Sorry for sounding dumb if that's not it. I'm not good at saying the words. I'm just not used to it. I try to show it in other ways.

[loveonspeedial]

Well My roommate is my best friend of 6 going on 7 years, she started selling herself this summer and it got ugly fast. One of her cilents assaulted me, broke into our house, threatened my SO, etc.

[loveonspeedial]

Eternity, you don't sound dumb. I was just wondering why some SO's get distant or angry at their SO for saying I love you or I miss you a lot and now it's just a topic about how we each express or lack of expressing ourselves towards our partners.