Am I overthinking the situation

[Cosmonaut]

Hey everyone, so an update from my previous post, my girlfriend and I finally talked a bit about what's going on since she forced what she calls 'A break from everything' a week and a half ago. Last wednesday she told me that she is really stressing out about school and that she may not be able to graduate if she fails this test. So at the time, it felt like a reasonable explanation, plus she told me that we would talk about everything after thursday. it's sunday right now. I began to notice little things between then and now like she rarely talks to me(which is understandable due to the studying she has to do for her finals this week) and the lack of 'I love you too' when I tell her that I love her. I sent her a message informing her of these things I'm noticing. I'm pretty sure she read it, and after she went offline, I regretted sending her that message and deleted it. I then proceeded to tell her how sorry I was for posting that message in the first place and that I'm just distracting her from her studies. I also told her I wouldn't talk to her till thursday evening when she is finished with her finals. She stayed up till 3am on skype last night, and I can't help but wonder who she is talking too. She did call me 'babe' on friday so I hope that means something. But I still feel like I'm missing half of the explanation. I hope we can talk after finals, but I can't help but feel stressed out about the situation seeing her on skype and on facebook, wondering who she is talking too. I'm pretty sure I'm overthinking things. I just wish we could talk about this sooner rather than wait. I'm mostly worried about the lack of 'I love you too'. Do you guys think that is normal? Be honest with me if I'm overthinking things way too much.

[conejita_hada]

I have not read your other posts but from the information you included here, I'd stick it out and not worry until you're supposed to talk Thursday. She's probably just really stressed out and your message, whether or not you apologized for it, could have pissed her off or made her more stressed. I've been in this situation before, where I am the one stressed out and my SO responded as you did. I didn't respond with "I love you, too" because I was pissed off with him. It didn't mean I didn't/don't love him. My love for him is ever-growing. But, I'm not going to continuously try to reassure him when I am in the middle of a stressful study period. Thursday is less than a week away. It may suck to wait, but just give her space so she can focus on school.

[Cosmonaut]

Thank you very much for this. I needed to hear this. She probably is pissed at me. She told me before she started the break that she felt like our relationship was slipping. So I freaked out. Thank you for your response. It certainly helped brighten up my day.

[Harlequin]

Say "I love you" when you mean it--not when you're expecting to hear it in return. If you guys are essentially on a break, technically she really doesn't have to say "I love you" back. That's probably the furthest thing from her mind right now considering her current academic situation. Her priorities are currently in the right place: passing that class and graduating. You're most likely not the only one she's been brushing off right now, and I'm sure if she had the time to dedicate to these conversations, she'd have them (or at least tell you why she can't).
As for who she might be talking to: classmates, friends who've had that class/are currently taking that class, etc. Maybe she just has these things open in the background, and when you see her log off, that's her going to bed. If my laptop is open, I'm on skype regardless of whether I'm talking to someone or not. I'm perpetually logged into facebook messenger because of my phone, and I've used facebook messenger to collaborate on important projects before. Sometimes it's a lot easier to communicate via computer when all the work you're doing is on the computer.


You're over-thinking things. Remember that she's very busy, and ignoring you might not actually be anything personal. Is there a chance she's pissed off about the messages? Sure. That'd annoy the hell out of me, too, but then again, so would everything if I were in that situation. Getting everything together in order to graduate is really stressful by itself. She's going to have to take care of all that AND focus on not failing that exam. If she's found the time to take a shower, sleep, and eat normally, I'd be surprised.

[1991md]

I agree and give her the space she needs. She said she is stressed and busy, and her exam seems like a "make it or break it" type of thing. At least you know why she is busy and she let you know ahead of time.

I know it will be hard but give it a few more days it will be Thursday in no time. Don't say a word to her til then unless she writes you. If you keep writing her she will be pissed and annoyed.

It's the respectful thing to do and she will appreciate it.

[1991md]

Hey bro.

Any news to share?

[nemolove_22]

This is currently the situation that me and my SO are in. I'm in my last few weeks of my semester - I'm a Graduating Senior and everything I do right now counts towards me graduating. If I don't finish what I'm doing - I don't graduate.

So I totally understand where your girlfriend is coming from, being that I am in her shoes right now. I personally have been brushing pretty much everyone off, as I don't have time to do much of anything other than try to get assignments done - it is stressful. Crazy stressful.

I agree with everyone else - I think you are over thinking things. I know that I too leave Skype and Facebook open as I sometimes jump around plus Facebook is always on as I'm signed in through my phone - so it could just be that it's open and she's not talking to anyone. She's probably just trying to get her assignments done and graduate. I do hope that everything works out for you both, and the stresses of school are gone soon - the stresses that come with end of term with graduation being on top of that, really do suck - coming from someone who is in that position currently.

[pepperfairy]

My SO went on holiday not so long ago an he became very distant... after telling him how I felt multiple times. I decided to back off an let him have his space. It was hard not to message him..
I wanted him to know I'm still here but at the same time I didn't want to annoy him.
he actually ended up thinking I was pushing him away :/
So as much as I agree you should give her space as she requested. I think letting her know you still love her an hope she is doing well is a good idea too..
also when you guys do start chatting more.. maybe try some of the games an things for LD couples. Add some spice back into your relationship?

[Cosmonaut]

So an update on the situation. Her finals are done. She's graduating tomorrow. My finals and graduation are next week. I was hoping she would be a bit more talkative now that her finals. She still isnt. I'm hoping it's because she doesn't want to distract me from my finals. We last spoke on monday and she only sent one message saying good luck with finals. She is posting photos of her honors ceremony and a recent beautiful profile pic of her on facebook. It just hurts that she no longer talks to me first about things going on in her life. I feel as if she is ignoring me right now. I'm trying really hard to not comment on her posts, but it's hard not to when her posts are really informative. But yea. Still no talking. I feel it's almost time to call and see what's going on. But I will wait till next Saturday to do that if this behavior continues. Apparently she talked to my brother and said that we have a couple snags, but nothing major. So I'm riding on that for now. I would honestly like to get this talk over and done with right now so I can put 100% focus into my finals. Because I can't stop wondering what's going on.

[Happygirl123]

So an update on the situation. Her finals are done. She's graduating tomorrow. My finals and graduation are next week. I was hoping she would be a bit more talkative now that her finals. She still isnt. I'm hoping it's because she doesn't want to distract me from my finals. We last spoke on monday and she only sent one message saying good luck with finals. She is posting photos of her honors ceremony and a recent beautiful profile pic of her on facebook. It just hurts that she no longer talks to me first about things going on in her life. I feel as if she is ignoring me right now. I'm trying really hard to not comment on her posts, but it's hard not to when her posts are really informative. But yea. Still no talking. I feel it's almost time to call and see what's going on. But I will wait till next Saturday to do that if this behavior continues. Apparently she talked to my brother and said that we have a couple snags, but nothing major. So I'm riding on that for now. I would honestly like to get this talk over and done with right now so I can put 100% focus into my finals. Because I can't stop wondering what's going on.

Perhaps you should approach her, in a direct manner and say you gave her time to work on her exams, you respected her decision, but since you cannot focus on your finals because of the stress this is causing, it is now her turn to owe some gratitude to you and discuss this, stop beating around the bush and be open and honest to you. so you can focus on your finals and stop wondering. you gave her space and respect, i believe she owes the same gratitude to you.

[Cosmonaut]

I would very much like to tell her that. But she is doing a pretty good job at ignoring my messages. I'm just staying off social media for a couple days and I will talk to her after my finals are done.

[1991md]

I am curious if you have any news to share?

[Cosmonaut]

Nothing really. Finals are over, she still doesn't want to talk. Avoids the topic. I'm fed up with it really. So I just stopped trying. She can't keep up this behavior forever. So I'll wait till she is ready. If you guys got any suggestions, I could surely use them. This behavior is very unlike her.

[1991md]

I am sorry to hear that :/. I would say give her a few days, don't talk or anything and then just randomly ask her

"I haven't heard from you in a while, is everything ok?"

I hope it will all work out though. I am routing for you bro!

[conejita_hada]

I'm confused as to why she spoke to your brother but isn't speaking to you. Are they previous friends? At this point, I have no suggestion other than to try to push it out of your mind for now and focus on your own finals, hopefully she'll start talking to you once your semester is done. If not, call her about it and if she refuses to answer the call, call back, or respond to a message from there, that'll be a significant indication of her intention.