Sometimes posting helps you see things better... So here goes..

[sasad]

So, my SO and I have know each other for over 11 years, got back in touch 3 years ago. He mooved to Florida in Febuary and realised how much I mean to him after we seperated (due to move).. He did tell me he was moving for about 6 months to save money, pay off his bills etc., then come back to me or wherever we decide. I have a 10 year old child, so moving from child away from his father would not be fair to either of them.. His sister has a house in Florida so he moved in with her. I have never met any of his family.

He moved in withh her in Feb 2015. She has a husband that lives in VA while she lives in a house she bought in Florida. I am not sure how that realationship is. Not really my business. Apparently she has a balloon payment due and was asking my SO if he could possible buy the house. Its not in his price range and he does not want to own a house that he really doesnt want.

So, my SO has decided to buy a house in Florida. Oooookkkkkkk. Kind of hurt that he decided this without asking me etc., but he is an adult and it is his choice. I did remind him that my ex was not going to let me move our child 1000 miles away from him...

We text almost daily and skype once a week.

Wednesday- I work for public schools and it is SOL time.. stressful and busy. I text him and night and ask if he wants to skype. He can't because his sisters "tummy is upset " so he is taking her out for icecream. ooookkkk

Friday-- maybe skype? Nope... he is making cookies and brownies for his sister.. She is stressed out and decided she was going to sell her house and contatcted a real estate agent. SO he is comforting her. Oookkk I again said nothing.

I contacted him today. They need a relaxing day, so they are off to the movies.

I am cranky.
I have a feeling she will move in with him when he settles im May/June. It just seems odd to me.

He moves down to save money, hes buying a house cuz she is selling hers. he knows I cant move there for at least 4 years.

No, she has no idea about me. I think one of his friends know that my SO and I "hang-out" When I asked my SO why he never said or mentions me, he says. it just never comes up .

I am trying to be understanding, but I am feeling something weird.

Any advice?

[Unconditional]

I see no reason why he cannot take a half hour before the movies, a half hour before bed or half hour during anything simply to skype you.
Have you told him how upset you are about this?

[R&R]

Honestly, I wonder if he's anywhere close to being on the same page as you as far as the relationship goes. You don't just buy a house without discussing it with your partner - especially knowing the other person can not move.

I'm wary of the fact that no one know about you or who you really are. My SO is an extremely private person when it comes to his personal life. It's a bone of contention between the two of us because he's also very private about our relationship and I'm one that would put it up on a billboard. That being said, his children, his sister, cousins and close friends know about us. When we're in public, we are affectionate and if we run into someone he knows, I am introduced as his girlfriend. But to specifically bring up a conversation that he has a girlfriend, to him, only the important people need to be told. The fact that your SO's sister doesn't know about you and he downplays it with his friends sends up to me a huge red flag.

[Moon]

Go with your gut on this, something definitely sounds off. The odd dependency on his sister and never telling anyone about you after knowing each other so long just doesn't seem right to me, as well as him just deciding to buy a house in Florida, without even talking about it first. None of this is normal behavior. Do you know his past relationship history, has he ever been married before? Looking into his past may give you some clues if this is even worth pursuing.

My guy is extremely private too, but everyone he knows heard about me within a couple of months. How is it that he's so close to his sister that she can't even deal with an upset stomach on her own, but she doesn't know about you? I'm really sorry, but there's something that just seems so wrong with this whole scenario Step back a minute and ask yourself what advice you'd give a friend who was in this situation. Good luck.

[differentcountries]

How long have you been dating? If 3 years, not meeting or knowing much about his family is weird. Much weirder than the thing with the house.

[Harlequin]

I second what everyone else has said so far, but also want to raise a question:
Are you sure that's his sister?

I know you two have known each other for a very long time, but it just sounds...off.

[whatruckus]

Uhh...No offense, but, I'm very close with my brothers and not even THEY would bake me cookies, or take me for ice cream when my tummy was upset. That whole thing sounds so weird to me. I agree with everyone else, especially Harlequin. Are you honestly sure that's his sister? I find the whole situation extremely odd.

You need to really have a talk with him, especially if it's been almost 4 years you guys have been together, yet you barely know anything about his family. I met my SO's entire family within a day or two of us dating (lol, it was because of Christmas). But, even if I didn't, I would still know everything about them like I already do.

[TheSteelAngel]

I agree with what everyone else is saying. Normal siblings don't act like that. My brothers wouldn't do anything like that for me either lol. This just sounds really strange idk.

[rubydissolution]

I agree with the "are you sure it's his sister" angle. Also....if you have an upset stomach the last thing you need is iced cream. All that cream and sugar...it's just gone make that worst. That whole story is BS.

[Kapwned]

Yep, jumping on the something tells me that's not his sister bandwagon. Like seriously... if you replaced sister with friend, wouldn't you get the hunch that he's dating her on the side? I'm wondering if he met someone and is finding it hard to break it off with you. Either way, he is investing way too much time on another woman who doesn't need to be spoiled by him. He should be spoiling you if he's so nurturing and caring.

[p_b82]

I don't know - I've taken my sister out for coffee and cake, and cooked for her when she is poorly when I have been staying with her (and her husband) - so not quite sure that aspect is weird.

But I do agree that something doesn't add up here - to have that many excuses for every day is a bit odd... My suggestion would be to book in a time in advance to do it. If you get an instant excuse, then if it were me, I would call him out on it, and pending the answers probably just walk away.

It is the fact that you are not even being factored in as a consideration here suggests you are not a priority at all in his life, and that is the thing you need to redress, not the other stuff imo.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

But I do agree that something doesn't add up here - to have that many excuses for every day is a bit odd... My suggestion would be to book in a time in advance to do it. If you get an instant excuse, then if it were me, I would call him out on it, and pending the answers probably just walk away.
.

I think this is good advice. If you have a set day/time and he STILL blows you off it's definitely time to walk away. I think it's ridiculous when people say they don't have time to skype. Even with a seven hour time difference, I have found time (even ten minutes here or there) to skype with my loved ones. It's all about WANTING to and working around the things that must happen. You two are in the same country and don't have the same type of time difference, so there is no excuse for someone not finding time to skype for ten minutes here or there.

[differentcountries]

It is the fact that you are not even being factored in as a consideration here suggests you are not a priority at all in his life, and that is the thing you need to redress, not the other stuff imo.

THIS. No matter what is going on (I don't react to the cake thing, I have a brother who bakes for me and makes me dinner), the fact is that you are not a close part of each other's lives. You don't know what he does half the time, or why. That is not how a man behaves if he is on the threshold of merging lives with you. If he is constantly wishy-washy about agreements or information, there is not much to build on.

[whatruckus]

I think it's weird in the sense that he caters to his "sister's" every needs and wants, no matter what, and blows her (the OP) off. My brothers would do some things for me, but they draw the line. There have been plenty of nice things my brothers have done for me when I was sick/depressed, but after a while, they tell me to snap out of it and enough is enough. This is why I don't understand his behavior with his sister. I mean, if it's really his sister, it's nice and all he wants to take care of her, but come on...she's a grown woman. It's just weird.

[Moon]

I think it's weird in the sense that he caters to his "sister's" every needs and wants, no matter what, and blows her (the OP) off. My brothers would do some things for me, but they draw the line. There have been plenty of nice things my brothers have done for me when I was sick/depressed, but after a while, they tell me to snap out of it and enough is enough. This is why I don't understand his behavior with his sister. I mean, if it's really his sister, it's nice and all he wants to take care of her, but come on...she's a grown woman. It's just weird.

Agreed, and I think the weirdest party is that, as close as he and his "sister" are, he's never mentioned the OP to her, even though they've been together a while now. Surely, something should have come up in conversation by now?