Uncertain times....

[p_b82]

Thank you for all your comments and advice, especially you p_b82, your words are always so full of wisdom and you always seem so grounded. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to my emotional post. It means a lot to me.

No problem - not sure I am that good at taking my own advice, but I am pretty good at trying to look at both sides when I can

I can understand the wanting to be sure about things, I knew I held back until after my second visit to make it FB official, like you I wanted to be really sure that the person in real life was the person I thought they were online; but that was only because romantically it had only been a few months. I think this situation is different though as you have been together for so long.
18 months delay to heal after serious illness leaves 12 remaining months - and being the US I am sure the fact that he had to have medical treatment put a dent in his savings if he had any.

There are lots of flights to O'Hare to the UK, booking in advance of about 2-3 months off peak is usually ideal; and aim to fly midweek on both legs will save a ton. I did one trip out UK Thursday (LHR-ORD) returned Tuesday ORD -> WEdnesday LHR (night flight). it was a long weekend trip with only 5 days in the US. For a US person with the exchange rate, it will be cheaper for them to book the flight rather than for you to do it for them from the UK.

I know you want to have a date, and are getting impatient, but if the relationship is stronger than actually meeting, mentally try to take a step back from it; you'll feel better about things if you can...

Hopefully the call goes well, and you can get something booked in - even if you pay for it now, and he repays you in instalments etc.

[Moon]

Thank you Moon, your information re flight booking is very helpful.

He's in Chicago and I've heard it's cheaper to book from USA.

2.5 years is a long time to wait, we were on the verge of him booking a flight back in 2013 but he got very sick very suddenly and almost died. It was a horrendous time for us and it took him 18 months to recover enough to even think about travelling.

Hopefully I will get some answers tomorrow.

Oh, I was wrong about the location Chicago is a good place to fly from, it's a major hub and has lots of international carriers. I think it's the only other airport in the US that flies non-stop to Finland, besides JFK in NYC. I'm really sorry he was so ill, that can excuse some of that wait time. Does he have a passport? It's not uncommon for Americans not to have one. If not, he should probably start working on that, especially if he doesn't have much money; it'll cost him about $110 I think.

I hope you get some answers tomorrow, too. Even having a rough timeline can make everything feel so much better.

[Unicorn26]

No he doesn't have a passport yet. Mine is expired and I'm not getting another until I have something booked as they're expensive here too.

Yes the illness was bad, he ended up losing his home and was forced to move in with his mum. It's been a really tough adjustment for him as he left home at 17 and to suddenly end up back with your parents at 40 years old sucks big time.

I also forgot to add I had major surgery 6 months ago and I'm only just fit again. We've had some really big obstacles thrown at us but I still feel we truly are meant to meet...

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Wow! It sounds like you have had a lot of set backs but the fact that you're still getting through them without ever meeting says that you both are really committed to this! I assume you have a divorce lawyer? Is there a way you could talk to someone and find out what legal troubles you can get into with the kids if you go on vacation? That way you'll know for sure what you're up against (if anything) and are prepared for the worst if you do end up deciding to go.

[Unicorn26]

Yes I will look into this if necessary after we have talked tomorrow.

I'm going to have an early night as I barely slept last night, I was too upset.